Because Every Child Needs a Family

"Whatever you did for one
of the least of these . . you did for me." Matt 25:40

Us

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Day 24

I don’t believe in omens, but if I did, the heavy rain in the morning would have been one.

I woke up feeling not-so-good, so after a breakfast of pancakes, I went back to bed and slept until 11:30. Then I tried a cup-of-noodles with a not-so-hard-boiled egg added. Cup of noodles (ramen) here is like cup of noodles in the US, but less salty. Eileen had an instant cup-of-soup, a classier version of the dried stuff at home, this one has a concentrated foil packet of wet ingredients. We have cleaned out the local market of their instant foods. Tanya came over, and I tried working for a while, but the power went off twice in 5 minutes. My laptop has a battery, but I have an external hard drive where most of my work is, and it does not like having power yanked away. Power is going up and down because work is being done on the hotel. Tanya let her feelings be known about the TV going off and on.

At 2:30, we three headed for the internot. The rain had stopped by now. The bus/trolley was slow in coming, so Tanya started walking. We took the walkway down the middle of the boulevard. It’s paving is not yet broken up, and it was dry. As we approached the internot, we saw a small crowd of people looking up the road. We looked, and saw a man lying on the road. A car was stopped a few yards in front of the guy. Had the car hit him? No, the driver had gotten out to help the man. He and another guy picked up the downed man, and tried to help him walk, but it looked like his legs would not hold him up. We were continuing on toward the internot. Sasha and Nastiya were waiting for us, and came running. We turned around to go to the clothing store. The crowd was gone, but as we walked past the site where the man was lying in the road, we saw him lying by the side of the road. Sasha indicated he was a drunk. He had a nice coat and hat on. Is this what happened to our girls’ mom? At some point she just gave up, and lay down by the road?

Not far to the clothing store. Direct transliteration of the store name: Fart. Oh, well. I’ve encountered this sound in German: ehr/sie/es fahrt. The store did not smell bad despite the name. We found some jeans and shirts and pajamas for the littler girls, socks and unmentionables, but only one pair of jeans for Sasha. While shopping, Tanya got a call that made her very agitated. Tears. Are you OK? Yes. I doubt it. We called a taxi, and rode into downtown. We found more jeans for Sasha. Tanya wanted some pajamas. Eileen said OK. Tanya wanted sexy pajamas. Sorry, no. What ? Why not? Our house gets cold at night and she needs something non-revealing to wear to the bathroom. (Eileen) I wish I could find a “granny” flannel gown just to tease her. We find a shop that sells pajamas that we would consider to be ok: full length terry with cats on the front. Kind of childish, but not too much. Tanya acted like it was an oversized burlap bag with holes for arms and feet. Then we found something a little more shapely but still warm. She was OK with that, after considering the burlap bag.

I found some magnetic Cyrillic letters for the fridge at a little toy shop. Fun.

We went to the pizza place for early dinner. More words were spoken. Now Nastiya is crying. Now Sasha is crying. Tanya got out a napkin out and started wiping tears away from her own face. I badly needed a tape recorder, so I could find out what was being said. Tanya said this is “normalno”, which I thought meant OK, but maybe it means this is normal behavior. This is not normal in my book. Tanya headed home with her PJs.

The four of us walked out of the pizza place, and into the store next door. I think it was just a curiosity check. It had maps! It had a map of Slovyansk! Finally, we can get our bearings. It was wonderful! It was beautiful! Major victory! The store also had books geared toward teaching children to read. We must come back here. Next stop was the local market, another favorite place. We got pop and juice and instant meals. I thought we got shelled sunflower seeds. No such luck, shells still on. Then we caught the trolley back to the hotel.

The girls tried on their new clothes and I took pictures. We told the girls that the clothes are for travelling to the US, and they cannot wear them to the internot. More tears. I put on “Toy Story” to distract them. After 30 minutes, the clothes must come off. More tears. Sasha threatened to stay in Ukraine. This is not new behavior for her. Last summer when she stayed with us, she threatened to catch a plane back to Ukraine. Eventually, Sasha changed clothes, put on her coat, and sulked. Nastiya would not remove the clothes. Eileen and I had to do it for her. Hugs and kisses. Wish they could understand. I got some food in a bag for their dinner.

We caught the trolley back to the orphanage stop. No one was collecting money. That bothered me, but Sasha thought we got away with something. As we got close to the internot, Sasha wanted to divide the food between her and Nastiya. I think she wanted to do this before we are in sight of the other kids. I gave them both big hugs and kisses and tried hard to let them know how much I love them. I walked back down the boulevard. It was getting foggy and drizzling slightly.

For dinner we had instant meals. Eileen’s was a kasha meal, mine was a chicken soup. Mine had a large urinal cake of noodles at the bottom of the bowl. They both tasted good.

Was today a bad day? Is the honeymoon over? Being reminded of the challenges of parenting. Where will I find a Russian speaking therapist for the children? And what about Sylvia?

4 comments:

ArtworkByRuth said...

Laughing about the burlap sack! O brings her PJs from the internot and they are granny gowns! Yes, honeymoon over, but it's okay for now. Z used to threaten us that when he died he was going to heaven in Ukraine! Hang in there, it gets better! O is starting with 'tude into week three as well. Praying for you guys, and so glad to know someone else in Ukraine is going through the exact same thing! HUGS!

adopting2fromUkraine said...

We had many, many moody moments with our 12 yo daughter. One day she laid her head down on the couch in the visiting room and wouldn't respond to us for quite a while. No matter what we did. Another day, she walked away angry over nothing. We threatened to leave, she said okay. We waited a few minutes puzzled over what to do. It occurred to me, that she was testing to see if we would go and not come back. Like her mom. So, I told my husband to go after her. She was just fine for the rest of the visit.

After we picked her up from the orphanage and had her with us all the time, she threatened to go back to the orphanage several times a week. She had a moody, pouty, mad fit every single day for at least the first two weeks. We confronted her with it, then it lengthened to every 2nd or 3rd day:0 lol

They test you in more ways than you can imagine. She's been home almost ten months now and still occasionally tests us.

June

Twyla, John, Duncan, Mari, and Misha said...

Eileen and Rolan,

Even though it was a tough day in some ways, you got shopping done and pjs crossed off the list and some more clothes to head home in!

I hope Rolan is feeling better. We saw several young men (early 20s) smashed out of their wits - one the first day in Gorodnya when he unzipped his pants and urinated as he stood on the sidewalk in the park! We were so thankful that the two little girls who had just walked past him as they headed home from school, were past him! The other was a young man who was slumped into the base of tree - from the morning when we walked to the Internot to the evening, when we headed home. He had changed position slightly - but no one had moved him. One third of the shelves at our one grocery store held liquor. Sad.

We have really had to hammer home "nice words" to each other. Mari was calling Misha an idiot/"durock" one day and I caught her. She knows we don't allow the word "stupid" in our house, so why would we allow "idiot"? Sometimes, when she is in a bad mood, she upsets both boys' homeostatis and gets them all upset!

We have also asked that they speak in quieter tones and use only nice words to each other. After 3 months, my ears are no longer ringing on a daily basis from the overly loud sound levels of their everyday speaking tone!

With 3 girls, and all those emotions (Mari has more visible emotions than the boys combined), they may also be setting each other off (your pizza restaurant scene). You guys are in our prayers for this!

Once you get home, it will be better - Tanya will have a solid place/facts to wrap her mind around vs. the mystery of your home and life. The other two will finally be back HOME where they can wear their "good" clothes everyday!

Good luck in court tomorrow and get well soon!
The Barretts

Anonymous said...

Oh, gosh, Rolan. What is a "large urinal cake of noodles" and how in the world can it be "good"!!??