What have we been doing?
- Going to school
- Learning English quickly
- Shopping at CostCo
- Buying food at supermarkets
- Swimming pools, twice!
- Uncounted phone calls back to Slovyansk (What's the rate? Not too high, I hope. Vonage soon.)
- Making friends with other adopted Ukrainian kids
- Getting enrolled with insurance
- Shopping at Kohls for 2+ hours
- Trying on every shoe at Famous Footwear
- Learning what it is like to be in a family
- Bedtime rituals (I LOVE it!)
- Reading Dr. Suess
- Cooking meals
And again, the girls teach me about my relationship with God. We had a big session, trying to enforce a timeout. Why was it so hard? Because we are taking away control. This part is speculation, but I assume that in an internot, if you do not look out for yourself, you won't get the things you want. If your parents were alcoholics, then you had to always be thinking about the next meal, and how to help your parents. And if your parents were abusive, you had to always be aware of the emotional situation. So being in control is the difference between life and death. Sure, adults can be trusted to a point, but not very far. And now, these new adults are trying to make you do something you don't want to do. You don't understand this stupid senseless rule about sitting in one spot for an extended time, so you try to get control back. Hitting, kicking, pinching, biting, screaming, anything to keep control. And this is a lot like me and God. Sure, God is trustworthy, but only in things that don't matter too much. Try to put me through things I don't like or understand, and I will do anything to "keep" control.
I love my girls so much.
1 comment:
I think you are very right in your assumptions. One thing that has been extremely difficult for our daughter is giving up her control. When we were in Ukraine, she would tell me what groceries we needed. I tolerated it then. When we got home, she did the same thing, I finally told her I knew what we needed to buy. Many times I have to tell her, you are the daughter or little girl, I am the mom. (She just turned 13 and has been home 11 months) She still tries to tell me what to buy at the grocery store, but not as bad. I'm not talking about we are out of milk, etc. She thinks we need a big supply of bananas, oranges and all the foods she likes constantly. I can understand because she did go without food when she was with her mom and they never were able to eat all they wanted at the orphanage either. She told me that kids would steal food if someone was distracted for a few minutes.
She told me yesterday, that she didn't think that I would love her like I do because her mother never loved her so much. That makes me sad to even write it.
You just have to be patient, but don't let them get away with things either.
Best wishes and Welcome Home!
June
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