The construction guys gave us a new date. They aren't ready. Permits or some such. The new start date is April 14th. Don't tell them we are secretly very happy because we aren't ready either! Digging out a garden and moving the contents of three rooms is, well, time consuming.
That gives me a chance to tell you about the riveting, page turning, process of adopting overseas. Lucky you!
Yes, I am being sarcastic. If you give up and skip this post and any other that refer to "the process," I won't be offended. I will try and not go into too much detail. It is interesting to me because (duh) I'm deeply involved . . .
Anyway, it begins in interviewing and carefully researching adoption agencies. It is different in different states. The state of Colorado insists that you use an in-state agency for your homestudy and background checks because they provide someone to come and visit after the children come. We already filled out mule-choking amounts of paperwork, including a homestudy, with Boulder County Social Services but for some reason (that no one seems to be able to explain), we have to do it again. Sigh, okay.
The painful part for this frugal woman is that it is so darn expensive. I shopped around. It didn't help. I groused about it for several weeks before I actually went with the recommended agency. To make matters worse, last month the local newspaper reported there was a Boulder agency that bilked people out of bunches of money without producing the desired children. If you do this, please do your homework and look for references. Our local agency is Adoption Alliance.
So along with the local agency, you need an agency who can connect you with people overseas, check your paperwork, fix you up with a translator, doc or many other services depending on the country and other requirements. This agency wants dough too but the amounts can vary widely. The person we have chosen has a great track record and hasn't asked for our firstborn in exchange so we have gone with her.
So there is the cast. Next time let me fill you in on the actual process. (You won't believe it.)
Us
Monday, March 31, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Ready, Set. . . Remodel!
Hello Everyone!
Last Friday we got word that they could start digging here at the ol' homestead on MONDAY! That means they want 3 rooms in the house cleaned out and I have to clear out the carefully, gently, lovingly planted garden outside the family room. I have 8 specially ordered dwarf evergreens, some of them planted some 10+ years ago. Some of them irreplaceable. (Ask me about my dwarf bristlecone pine). So it is quick but careful transplanting for the next few days.
Those girls won't be able to say I love my garden more than them!
Much to my dismay, a couple dozen giant white crocus stuck their bold white heads up to say, "Excuse me, but we are important too!" Yes, yes, thank you for blooming where you were planted, I will move you too. (Who else am I forgetting?! Where in the world did I put that alpine clematis?!)
I have taken before pictures for your enjoyment but I think we will lose our TV cable and internet cable too for the duration. I will see if I still can send you updates from the front somehow. If not, then you will get the before and after photos back to back, like one of those magazine articles and write "before" under one photo and "after" under the other (like you won't be able to tell on your own . . )
The great and wonderful surprise is that they are saying it will only take 6 weeks!
"Of course, that is how long it should take," I hear you say. But you and I both know 4 months is more of what we were expecting. Yes, yes, they are never done when they say. Yes, yes, it will more likely be 8 weeks but this is great news for the gardener who would like to put some plants back around the new room rather than find a permanent home because 4 months is way too long to be out of the ground, especially over the brutal summer months. I will also be able to paint walls, varnish, put the rooms back together, shop for missing furniture pieces, all when the weather is in my favor. Whew.
Anyway, we are still waiting on the agency here to finish our paperwork. I think too we are waiting on the FBI clearance. I guess they don't want bank robbers raising kids. Go figure.
So, very dear friends and relatives, we are scrambling. Will try to write again soon.
Last Friday we got word that they could start digging here at the ol' homestead on MONDAY! That means they want 3 rooms in the house cleaned out and I have to clear out the carefully, gently, lovingly planted garden outside the family room. I have 8 specially ordered dwarf evergreens, some of them planted some 10+ years ago. Some of them irreplaceable. (Ask me about my dwarf bristlecone pine). So it is quick but careful transplanting for the next few days.
Those girls won't be able to say I love my garden more than them!
Much to my dismay, a couple dozen giant white crocus stuck their bold white heads up to say, "Excuse me, but we are important too!" Yes, yes, thank you for blooming where you were planted, I will move you too. (Who else am I forgetting?! Where in the world did I put that alpine clematis?!)
I have taken before pictures for your enjoyment but I think we will lose our TV cable and internet cable too for the duration. I will see if I still can send you updates from the front somehow. If not, then you will get the before and after photos back to back, like one of those magazine articles and write "before" under one photo and "after" under the other (like you won't be able to tell on your own . . )
The great and wonderful surprise is that they are saying it will only take 6 weeks!
"Of course, that is how long it should take," I hear you say. But you and I both know 4 months is more of what we were expecting. Yes, yes, they are never done when they say. Yes, yes, it will more likely be 8 weeks but this is great news for the gardener who would like to put some plants back around the new room rather than find a permanent home because 4 months is way too long to be out of the ground, especially over the brutal summer months. I will also be able to paint walls, varnish, put the rooms back together, shop for missing furniture pieces, all when the weather is in my favor. Whew.
Anyway, we are still waiting on the agency here to finish our paperwork. I think too we are waiting on the FBI clearance. I guess they don't want bank robbers raising kids. Go figure.
So, very dear friends and relatives, we are scrambling. Will try to write again soon.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
My New Best Friend Ben What's-His-Face
About 15 years ago we got a great deal on our then out-of-date house in a super neighborhood. We have spent time and some of Rolan's hard earned dough to update and improve said home, making it comfortable for the four of us.
Our neighbors are quiet folk and keep to themselves for the most part. Until last Christmas. One of the well improved homes down the street had a Christmas party (well, not the home but the people inside it. But I bet you knew that.) Anyway, it is one of those homes that sort of looks like this one in the way of floor plans but they had added a beautiful solarium off of the dining room. OH MY. I tucked away the ideas of how that would look on my house and thought nothing more about it until the three (instead of two) girls plan presented itself.
Its not that we wouldn't fit. Its just that we would fit better with a little more room. The eating area off the kitchen has always been too tight with just four of us and the family room is just plain silly with people and tree stuffed in there at Christmas... not to mention how much easier it would be if we bumped out the bedrooms too. We could get away with not having bunk beds!
If you are following my thinking here, you can see I'm talking about some serious renovation. How much could it be? There is no question that to make the bedrooms and family room bigger we would have to excavate. Yeah, the backhoe thing. I came up with some numbers by doing careful internet research. I invited a poor fellow to look and tell me what he thought. In the end it was going to be slightly more expensive than I thought. (I bet you knew that too!) I talked to an other construction company and asked them if they could do it for the price I wanted (more reasonable on my part but do-able).
Waiting for the final plans now. In the mean time, the home loan rates are dropping and I'm wiping the perspiration from my brow. I think we can afford this! We got the construction company at a good time and hopefully the work will be done before fall. Hey, who is laughing?! It could be embarrassing to bring the girls home to a bedroom that is missing the outside wall! I could always put them in the camper...
Our neighbors are quiet folk and keep to themselves for the most part. Until last Christmas. One of the well improved homes down the street had a Christmas party (well, not the home but the people inside it. But I bet you knew that.) Anyway, it is one of those homes that sort of looks like this one in the way of floor plans but they had added a beautiful solarium off of the dining room. OH MY. I tucked away the ideas of how that would look on my house and thought nothing more about it until the three (instead of two) girls plan presented itself.
Its not that we wouldn't fit. Its just that we would fit better with a little more room. The eating area off the kitchen has always been too tight with just four of us and the family room is just plain silly with people and tree stuffed in there at Christmas... not to mention how much easier it would be if we bumped out the bedrooms too. We could get away with not having bunk beds!
If you are following my thinking here, you can see I'm talking about some serious renovation. How much could it be? There is no question that to make the bedrooms and family room bigger we would have to excavate. Yeah, the backhoe thing. I came up with some numbers by doing careful internet research. I invited a poor fellow to look and tell me what he thought. In the end it was going to be slightly more expensive than I thought. (I bet you knew that too!) I talked to an other construction company and asked them if they could do it for the price I wanted (more reasonable on my part but do-able).
Waiting for the final plans now. In the mean time, the home loan rates are dropping and I'm wiping the perspiration from my brow. I think we can afford this! We got the construction company at a good time and hopefully the work will be done before fall. Hey, who is laughing?! It could be embarrassing to bring the girls home to a bedroom that is missing the outside wall! I could always put them in the camper...
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Just Move Already
As convincing as all those circumstances seemed to be, I was looking for that little extra. The internal green light. Wasn't coming. Wasn't getting a red light either. The other indicators seemed to say, "proceed with caution." What we were doing now didn't seem to be getting us any closer to filling our house. We needed to do .... something! Looked into several agencies. What if we continued domestic only with an agency? Some agencies allow you to look domestically and then switch to international if you don't find a match with only a nominal cost difference. But in the end discovered I wasn't fond of some of the domestic policies. I kept changing my mind. In the end the heart won out. I swallowed my fear of writing big checks and took the dive.
Those Stats
100,000 children in Ukraine are in orphanages. Another 130,000 on the streets. Oh, you know, the regular stuff. Alcoholism, illness, poverty, death, imprisonment. If you can't afford to feed your kids its okay to leave them somewhere. There are 100,000 in the US up for adoption. Ukraine is roughly the size of Texas. The kids are kicked out of the orphanages at 16 or 17 with a little something to get them through the first few months on their own. 10% commit suicide by their 18th birthday, 70% of boys turn to a life of crime, 60% of girls become prostitutes, only 27% find work. I you want to see pictures, get into You Tube and find the video Orphans of Ukraine. Bring a box of tissues.
Have you ever tried to convince someone of something and done too good of a job? My friend Pat once said that you have to tell some one something seven times before they remember it. (I'm sure in my case it's 20 something but we won't go into that). Well, with Rolan it was three. I gave him the same stats as you see above. He heard it again in church, and then again at the Christmas gathering for the kids that came to the US in December. His eyes were opened. Wide.
He wants 6.
Okay, 4. "Honey, how about four?"
I thought about it all day. On that day, I think it was a Sunday, you could see me wandering around the house mumbling "four, huh...four." Every once in a while I'd look at Rolan and say, "four?"
After a full day I said, "Honey, I think my mothering skills drop dramatically after about three."
I think I can encourage, support, cajole three through college. Four, I think I could get through High School. Five, I could make sure would live to adulthood, but I wouldn't feel good about the job I'd done. How about three."
Three.
My friend Sarah says she can do it with three. So, see? It can be done.
Now, about the house . . .
Those Stats
100,000 children in Ukraine are in orphanages. Another 130,000 on the streets. Oh, you know, the regular stuff. Alcoholism, illness, poverty, death, imprisonment. If you can't afford to feed your kids its okay to leave them somewhere. There are 100,000 in the US up for adoption. Ukraine is roughly the size of Texas. The kids are kicked out of the orphanages at 16 or 17 with a little something to get them through the first few months on their own. 10% commit suicide by their 18th birthday, 70% of boys turn to a life of crime, 60% of girls become prostitutes, only 27% find work. I you want to see pictures, get into You Tube and find the video Orphans of Ukraine. Bring a box of tissues.
Have you ever tried to convince someone of something and done too good of a job? My friend Pat once said that you have to tell some one something seven times before they remember it. (I'm sure in my case it's 20 something but we won't go into that). Well, with Rolan it was three. I gave him the same stats as you see above. He heard it again in church, and then again at the Christmas gathering for the kids that came to the US in December. His eyes were opened. Wide.
He wants 6.
Okay, 4. "Honey, how about four?"
I thought about it all day. On that day, I think it was a Sunday, you could see me wandering around the house mumbling "four, huh...four." Every once in a while I'd look at Rolan and say, "four?"
After a full day I said, "Honey, I think my mothering skills drop dramatically after about three."
I think I can encourage, support, cajole three through college. Four, I think I could get through High School. Five, I could make sure would live to adulthood, but I wouldn't feel good about the job I'd done. How about three."
Three.
My friend Sarah says she can do it with three. So, see? It can be done.
Now, about the house . . .
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
"But Officer They Were Just So Cute!"
So one evening in early December we stood in the main terminal of Denver International Airport and watched as a couple of dozen Ukrainian boys and girls filed past us. Our little Ukrainian Orphan Fan Club greeted them with warm fleece scarves. As I placed a pink one around a short-haired girl I knew I was hooked. Why do they have to look so much like the orphans in the movies?! They are so small and yet they were glad to have this Great American Adventure. I was told they experience some malnourishment which creates growth stunting. The youngest girl was 8 years old but looked like 6. They were also as thin as matchsticks! All my mothering instincts kicked in. Must feed. Must hug. Must smother with kisses.
How could anyone resist the urge to just grab them up and take them home?! "Honest officer, they just followed me..!" Okay girl, get a hold of yourself. Deep breath.
I cried all day the next day.
Pray, pray, pray.
Rolan loved the kids but was he willing to let go of the promise we made to ourselves of just adopting American kids? The best way to a computer nerd's heart is through his sense of logic and compassion. I did my homework, I spend some more time with the kids, I showed Rolan some heartbreaking videos about the terrible orphan situation in the Ukraine. I gave him the stats. Those horrible, grim, hopeless stats. (more on that later)
We continued to make inquiries on American kids who need homes. No bites.
Frankly, I was tired of the American-rent-to-own-foster-to-adopt system. This stinks! How about we not deal with agencies asking about every cough drop we gave the kids or trying to find a caring competent doctor or clinic that will take Medicaid? Or how about we just completely fall in love with the kids that come home with us and not wonder if a relative is going to come out of the woodwork at the last minute?
More homework, more inquiries, more prayer.
How does one determine the will of God? Pray and ask direction, look at all the circumstances, ask wise Christian friends, check it out with scripture.
Well, we know what scripture says, "look after widows and orphans in their distress.." Check.
Already asked direction (prayed about it). Check.
Asked wise Christian friends. Big happy check.
Circumstances. Well, in regards to spending huge chunks of cash, we wouldn't even have considered it accept that last summer Rolan was laid off (with 6 months of severance pay) and then got a new job right away. Kinda came at a good time. And another circumstance that is interesting is that these kids are from the Ukraine and well, didn't Great Grandpa have a ministry in Odessa? Yes. And wasn't Grandma born there? Yes. And well, by cracky, didn't he have an ORPHANAGE there too?
Hello, earth to Eileen....
How could anyone resist the urge to just grab them up and take them home?! "Honest officer, they just followed me..!" Okay girl, get a hold of yourself. Deep breath.
I cried all day the next day.
Pray, pray, pray.
Rolan loved the kids but was he willing to let go of the promise we made to ourselves of just adopting American kids? The best way to a computer nerd's heart is through his sense of logic and compassion. I did my homework, I spend some more time with the kids, I showed Rolan some heartbreaking videos about the terrible orphan situation in the Ukraine. I gave him the stats. Those horrible, grim, hopeless stats. (more on that later)
We continued to make inquiries on American kids who need homes. No bites.
Frankly, I was tired of the American-rent-to-own-foster-to-adopt system. This stinks! How about we not deal with agencies asking about every cough drop we gave the kids or trying to find a caring competent doctor or clinic that will take Medicaid? Or how about we just completely fall in love with the kids that come home with us and not wonder if a relative is going to come out of the woodwork at the last minute?
More homework, more inquiries, more prayer.
How does one determine the will of God? Pray and ask direction, look at all the circumstances, ask wise Christian friends, check it out with scripture.
Well, we know what scripture says, "look after widows and orphans in their distress.." Check.
Already asked direction (prayed about it). Check.
Asked wise Christian friends. Big happy check.
Circumstances. Well, in regards to spending huge chunks of cash, we wouldn't even have considered it accept that last summer Rolan was laid off (with 6 months of severance pay) and then got a new job right away. Kinda came at a good time. And another circumstance that is interesting is that these kids are from the Ukraine and well, didn't Great Grandpa have a ministry in Odessa? Yes. And wasn't Grandma born there? Yes. And well, by cracky, didn't he have an ORPHANAGE there too?
Hello, earth to Eileen....
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