Christoffersons Plus Three

Life Goes On

2011-01-28T23:19:00.000-08:00

No blogs for a long time, we are pushing forward. Mostly, it is just life. School, homework, learning how to get along with siblings. Weddings, boyfriends, sleepovers, girl scout outings. Baby teeth coming out, diseased teeth pulled out. Cooking lessons, sewing lessons, gymnastics, therapy. English, English, English, ugh! Bodies changing, makeup, shoes, hair curling. I hate you, I love you, I want you to love me. Losing MP3 players, IPods, phones, pets dying. Getting a job, losing a job, interacting with the police. Church, youth group, KLOVE. Letters from Ukraine, phone calls to Ukraine, trips to the Ukrainian market.

Are we a family yet? Or just a small internot? Do our kids trust us yet? Or do they still feel the need to always be in control of the events surrounding them. In so many ways, they are doing better and better. Love, patience, consistency, listening, sympathy; they work their way through the small cracks in the armor our kids have had to build around themselves, and eventually the armor falls off. We are coming up to our 2-year gotcha date. What will things look like in two more years? Ages will be 12, 15, and 21. Once again, they grow old too fast. And we keep getting older and slower. And it is *so* worth it to watch these girls become women, people, adults.

Tempus Fugit

2010-06-08T20:42:00.000-07:00

Well, if one had to break a leg, it should be at the end of January. Let's face it, there isn't much to do all of February except long for spring and well, long for spring! I was blessed, if I can say that as much as anyone can be blessed when they break a leg. I had very little pain, a computer to pass the time and my dear mum made a special trip out for a couple of weeks to care for us. (Thanks Mom!)
Now, I'm almost 100%. A little swelling around the ankle (normal). Working on the thigh muscle that seemed to almost instantly sag after it noticed the broken fibula. I hope the last of the x-rays will be Monday and the doc will say I can start jumping and running again. (yeah, right.)
I was afraid to ask if the break was age related (I'm 51). He assured me that he has seen 23 year olds that have breaks just the same and they have bones made of marble. Not old yet, my friends.

And what of the girls? Even as I write, Tanya is on her promised visit to Ukraine. When we adopted her, we promised a trip to visit those she has left behind once she turned 18 and could travel without a caperone. She is having a great time, though she asked me to call her every day. She will come home on Monday.
Sophie has continued to struggle but we see so much of her character popping through. She has a hard time completely letting go of control. Darn if those adults in her life have been so unpredictable, getting thrown in jail and dieing and not being attentive to her needs. After almost 16 months here, we have shown her a different side of care-taking adults. She is slowly learning to control some of her anger that gets her in trouble. We have a sweet child that will someday be glad to be our daughter. We are seeing that Sophie more and more. Baby steps.
Last weekend she asked me why we adopted. I told her, "Because Jesus said to help the widows and orphans in their distress." I said, "Not only that but every child should have a family to help them, encourage them, be with them in sadness and happiness and celebration. Everyone needs a family." I was glad she asked.
She has a good head on her shoulders. She could go far.

Anna. This is the grateful one. She gets it like you want every orphaned kid you adopt to get it. She is so happy to have a mom and dad and live here. She doesn't often need correction and when she does, she is remorseful. She is finally gaining some weight. She doesn't look like she has been sitting under the table begging for scraps. She is still one of the smallest kids in her class and is distressed about that. (Not something I'm sympathetic about. I was always the tallest kid in the class until I was 13. Haven't grown much since.) She has improved in almost all subjects in school. The teachers say she is bright. I believe it though she sometimes likes to play dumb just for laughs. I'm home-summer-schooling her this summer in hopes to catch her up for fall.
Rolan is also behaving himself.
The kitties? Well, you know. . .

Laying in Bed

2010-02-09T20:16:00.000-08:00

On January 30, Eileen managed to break her leg. Not just a simple break, either. The orthopedic surgeon must have looked at the X-rays, and decided that surgery needed to be done right away. So Eileen went in that Saturday night for a two hour surgery. She got a nice titanium rod, right down the middle of the bone, and some screws on the sides. She was in almost no pain for the first 24 hours, but that changed. She now must stay in bed, mostly on her back, "hopped up on goofballs," as they say in MST3K. I'll try to get her to post soon.

A New Year and Everything In Between

2010-01-07T06:53:00.000-08:00

My goodness, I had no idea it had been so long since I wrote last! If there is anyone out there who feels abandoned, I do beg your pardon. End of November and all of December got to be a whirlwind of activity. I'm sure you must experience at least a piece of that yourself, if not totally empathize.

Thanksgiving was a kick. With all the food preparation, Tanya got the cooking bug and wanted to add to the chaos. I was okay with that but was concerned about not having enough fridge space! We almost ended up with a sign-up sheet for kitchen time.

I was informed, at one point, that there are turkeys in Ukraine but people don't eat them.

The emergence of the Great Bird (22lbs) from the oven brought super-star reception! Flashes of cameras and ohs and ahs. The next day we decorated the house for Christmas. It's kinda nice to have help. The guys weren't into that so much. Finished in record time.

What is it like when you have kids who are new to America, celebrating an American Christmas for the first time? A great deal of highs and lows. Neighborhood parties, shopping, wrapping packages, the tree, oh my. We got our tree early. The girls really wanted one packed with branches. I tried to explain that we have a bazillion ornaments and we have to have some room to get them all on. We ended up with a compromise. A lush tree and mom with her pruners. I got to practice tree trimming, literally!

The Tuesday after Thanksgiving, Rolan was offered a job with a new start-up company. Just in time. He was going to comute to Denver for a down-town job at a greatly reduced salary and only for a couple of months contract at that. The new job is only 10 minutes from home,stuff he knows and at the salary he was used to making (and need to help raise the girls). Thank you Jesus.

Tried my hand at a couple of Holiday Craft Fairs with my creative crocheted hats, scarves and other goods. I only did okay breaking even. Not sure about doing this next year. I'll have to see how badly I need to express myself. It was great doing it with friends of Josh and wife Sarah. That was my favorite part.

It was a delightfully snowy month. December snows make me cry with joy. Rolan set up most of the outside lights only to be stopped by snow on roof and ground. He put lights on the back tree. We haven't seen the cord leading from house to tree since.

On the way to a rehearsal for Sophia's school dance recital mid month, I hit a deer. Traffic, snow on the road, going downhill, I didn't get to do anything to try and minimize the impact. I cried all the way to her school. Surely, I killed the thing. Front passenger headlights and signal lights gone. Front fender is crumpled but we can still get the door open. Hood, just the tiniest bit damaged. On the verge of the holiday, Ransom's graduation, relatives coming in, etc, my car is out of commission. Wahhhhhh. Does God still love me? I have no idea if the engine is okay. It doesn't matter. The car is unsafe to drive. We still have the mustang. My hardy Swedish husband can handle it! There were a couple of days, when he stood in the foyer upon returning home from work, and just shivered.

Ransom's graduation was wonderful with my mom and dad coming out. I worried about the crowd in the mustang but Rolan took blankets. Macky Auditorium was full and warm and bright. I got a cake with a shoe (Ransom's request) walking toward a dollar sign at the end of a frosting path. He is working half time at LASP just a few blocks from his apartment and still working for Campus Ambassadors. Busy but not too busy to plan for a . . . .

Wedding!!! A few days before Christmas he proposed to Jessica Foster and she accepted. I'm ever so thankful that they aren't planning to get married next month! Maybe November, they say.

Anna turned 9 on the 20th. Christmas. On the 4th of Jan, Tanya turned 18. Rolan and I toasted to another child successfully reaching adulthood. Whew! We joked about our long painful journey to this point (10 months).

I retired from the catering guys so I can concentrate on all the kid stuff that still needs to be done. Way behind in paperwork, immunizations, and as you can see, this blog.

Here's to a productive, peaceful, calm, slow paced, New Year.

Did I say calm?

Halloween Drama

2009-11-04T18:51:00.000-08:00

The bride, the movie star, the witch and the haul!
It was coming. That fever and cold thing that was going around. Rolan got it on Thursday, I got in on Friday, and I knew the kids were next.
Halloween is the Disneyland of holidays. The way the girls were anticipating it, you would think it was the second coming. Anna had not one but two Halloween costumes ready to go.

The morning of, Sophia dressed up and knocked on the door just for practice (at 7:30am). It was going to be a long day.

At 1pm, Anna started to get drowsy. Sure enough, she had a fever. I never thought I would pray that someone could go trick or treating! We gave her some medicine and put her to bed. A few hours later she still had a low grade fever but there would be certain death if she were not allowed to go trick or treating with the rest of the American children.

She survived. I manned the home front and Rolan took them out. He said, when they came back from a house, they would run screaming as if they had found a vein of gold.

Later, Anna reveled in her haul, "I've never had so much candy!"

American Scary

2009-10-28T16:56:00.001-07:00

At the local pumpkin patch. You never know who you will meet.

This is the House That Josh Bought -Sarah Too

2009-10-27T14:12:00.000-07:00

In a desperate attempt to get in on the great Obama tax deal, our young heroes purchased their first home. They moved in on the 17th. It could use a gutting of kitchen and bathroom but everything is strong and in working order (like the roof, walls and floors!). Okay, it could use a little more curb appeal but guess who gets to be in charge of that? Ha! My mouth is watering, my chainsaw warming up, and the landscape plan possibilities abound.
I just have to avoid plants and flowers Sarah is allergic to.
I also need to find the time.
And the weather needs to co-operate.

FRUA picnic in Colorado Springs

2009-09-20T20:56:00.001-07:00

Good to meet the adoptive community is Southern Colorado.
Took some pictures. Been a long time since I added pictures.

Why I Love America, by Sophia Christofferson

2009-09-15T16:57:00.000-07:00

"America is not as hot as Ukraine. My family not hit me every day like in Ukraine. I like the supermarkets, they are bigger than in Ukraine. I like my house, because I don't have a house in Ukraine. I don't have a computer in Ukraine. It is beautiful outside in America. I like America because we never in Ukraine go to camp, and not go swimming and I never saw before fire trucks. I like America because the school helps me learn English. In Ukraine we learned a little English be we cannot understand, but in America I learn a lot. I like America because in Ukraine I never had good house, but slept outside. I like America because all my sisters are close to me. In Ukraine I was never very clean, but in America I can take a shower. I like America because there are no boys hitting me. I like America because the teachers never take money away from me."

What not to do

2009-09-06T21:02:00.001-07:00

Ann learned a lesson this week. Don't wear a T-shirt to school, if the T-shirt has the name of the rival high school. Within an hour, she called: "Please bring another T-shirt, right now!"

What's up?

2009-09-01T07:57:00.001-07:00

Summer is over?? Rats.

In June, we had a vacation in a beautiful home on Lake Elmandor in California.
The girls lived in their swimming suits for a week.

In July, the two little girls lost 3 teeth in as many days. Sophia had a loose tooth, and worked very hard to take it out, but the tooth refused. She was in tears, partly because it now hurt. Before putting them to bed, I gave them a small glass of warm milk. Sophia looked at me, and said, "I swallowed it." Sigh. The next day, she found another loose tooth, and worked that one out. Two nights, the tooth fairy visited her pillow. Then, I was driving Sophia and Anna from the swimming pool. Sophia had gotten Fritos, and the girls were eating them, when Anna said, "I broke a tooth." Knowing how rotten some of her teeth are, I believed it. She leaned out the window so she could spit blood. Finally, she gave me the tooth, and it was obvious a baby tooth had come out. It did have a hole in the top.

Then there was Josh's wedding. Eileen's brothers and her mom came out. For many, this was their first time to our house. The groomsmen got to wear tuxes, and the weather was hot. Sarah had a beautiful dress.

And then came August. Rolan lost his job. We had to get vaccinations for the girls. Sophia caught a cold or bronchial infection that has lasted into September. School started. We have visited all three schools due to problems of one sort or another. Eileen has started working at temp jobs, doing cooking and food delivery, but is not sure that working is the right thing. Rolan had a birthday, too. I can now play a card for every year of my age.

And now the whining. We sure thought we were doing God's will when we set out on this adoption trip. We tried to believe that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and He would take care of us if we took a chance and went to get these girls, even though the economy was not good. After all, what is faith without action? And now we have medical and dental bills and no income. The stress level is high, there are tears and anger and frustration. Did we bring the girls from poverty in Ukraine, just to show them poverty in America?

We have been through hard times in the past, so hard that we cried out and said, "Enough! I can't take any more!" And now here we are again. Here is how I am feeling: #%!^*#@. No, that's not a regular expression (programming term). That's confusion and anger and fear and exhaustion. The only hope I have now is that I came out of those other times, and maybe I can make it through this one.

This week is Sophia's birthday. She wants to take "pupcakes" to school. :)

Rolan

Brief Update

2009-08-04T09:13:00.000-07:00

[Rolan]
Things are going well, a lot is happening. All the kids want to be on the computer, and it's hard to make time to update the blog.

That just changed. I get let go from work.

The roller coaster ride continues. *sigh*

Just About Three Months

2009-06-02T17:57:00.000-07:00

I'm pooped today. Do I say that every day? Naw.
Life is settling down slowly. When you take two steps forward and one step back, you eventually get somewhere, be it ever soooooo slowly. No longer hyper-vigilant wondering if my new children are thieves, liars, bullies, homicidal maniacs of some sort. Getting to know people a little better makes them easier to live with.
I thought we would never get through May. School getting out and the anniversary of the girls' mom's death. Birthdays and injuries and tooth work. I'm not kidding, I panicked, realizing I would only have a few more days to get the things done that I wouldn't get done with the girls home, so I scheduled dentist, doc, eye exams all in one week. Then I got mad at myself because the days were so beautiful and I should be spending them outside in the garden. It made for one grouchy mama.
Now June is here and the days are getting hot and really, the optimal time to plant is gone. Sit back and enjoy the kids! Okay, its raining. Something has gone terribly askew with the weather. I don't remember when I've seen Colorado so wet. Or GREEN! The two younger girls have started half day summer school. The school bus picks them up (it still makes me cry), and someone even feeds them a light breakfast and lunch, and then the school bus brings them home. No muss, no fuss. I hope they are learning something and not just eating. Hmmmm. Wondering if this program is out of compassion to find a way to feed starving ESL students in the summer. There are many stereotypes surrounding ESL students, I'm finding.

Some *&$!@ counselor down at Tanya's school (yeah, those guys) told me she finished High School and therefore has no more rights to public education. I made the mistake of submitting Tanya's General Education Certificate which she received at 15 years of age in Ukraine. I really just wanted to find out what she needs to get an American high school diploma. After an embarrassing meltdown in front of my family, I decided that we needed to hire an attorney. Not an easy decision for me who believes in using lawyers for only the most dire of circumstances. Yes, I knew that someday I can tell Tanya she means that much to us. I prayed. Even as I was praying, the lawyer called me back. In less than a week, it has all turned out as we hoped and the district called yesterday re-enstating Tanya's rights to summer school and High School in the fall. The lawyer did minimal work and will not charge us! Don't know where this will lead in the coming year but I so very much want Tanya to have choices for her future.

We deal with issues that are sometimes new and sometimes revisits of stuff we have seen before and thought we took care of. This is common. All in all the girls are progressing well. There are a few things that concern us but we have found a great Russian speaking therapist in Denver that has been helpful. We may end up putting Sophia in a private school in the fall because she has some behavior issues we are concerned about but she seems to be there academically. Fortunately, we have all summer to think about it.

Hope to post some photos soon!

Not Over-protecting

2009-05-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

They say that if you never take your kids to the hospital, you are over-protecting them.

Saturday, Eileen and I worked many long hours trying to cover up our dirt and clay with flagstones. We had a nice size patio before the construction started. We took pictures of the stones before we moved them out of the way, so when construction was done, we would be able to put them back together. The pictures helped a lot. We should also have numbered or lettered each stone. Guessing is fun, but time consuming.

Sunday, my muscles were achy. We had a picnic planned for Mother's day, but the weather did not cooperate. So I took Sophia and Anna swimming. I was going to spend a long time in the hot tub, relaxing the sore muscles. After 10 minutes in the tub, Anna wanted me to come slide down the slide with her. OK, I'll come back to the hot tub later. We got to the child's pool, and were then told by one of the life guards that everyone had to get out of the pool. OK, not sure what was going on, but I can follow directions. Anna and I waited near the locker rooms. Where was Sophia? Anna, go check the ladies locker room. No, not there. I wandered out to the pool area and asked a life guard, "Did someone get hurt?" "Yes." "Was it a 10 year old girl?" "Yes." Sigh.

I found Sophia strapped to a board with her head immobilized. Supposedly, she had tried a back flip from the diving board. The life guards thought they saw her hit her head on the diving board. They did not want to take any chances. After I got our gear together, Anna and I changed into clothes, and we followed the ambulance to the hospital.

Of course, Sophia was scared. She did not want doctors poking on her. And her leg hurt. A doctor came in, checked her neck, and declared it to be ok. The neck brace could come off. After a long wait, we were wheeled down to the CAT scan room for pictures. Not too scary, and a warm blanket to boot. Back down to the trauma room, for another long wait. This time, the X-ray technician came in and took pictures of the leg. Another long wait. A nurse wheeled in a cart for doing sutures. Another long wait. Sophia was ready to go home. So was Anna. Anna reached under the little stool that can raise or lower, and got grease all over her hand. We walked down to the bathroom and got the grease off. And of course, the doctor who wanted to do the sutures came in while we were out. When Anna and I got back, we had to wait some more.

Sophia was now quite scared. She did NOT want stitches. She saw this in Ukraine, or had it done, and was certain it was going to hurt like blazes. Her leg had had a topical anesthetic applied, and was changing colors nicely. I don't remember which came first, the local anesthetic or the washing. The local hurt a little, but I don't think it hurt as much as Sophia thought it would. The nurse who came to do the washing brought a huge syringe to squirt saline in the wound, and Sophia almost had a cow. She had to be shown that there was no needle on this thing. She had to be shown that it squirted water, by making the bed wet. OK, now she could accept the washing.

Finally, the doctor came back in. Sophia saw the used hypo in his shirt pocket, and started panicking. The doctor pitched hypo onto a counter, which helped calm her down. Then he took out the needle and sutures, and again the fear reached great heights. With the help of other nurses, they held her leg still, blocked her view, and got the first stitch in. With that, all fear was gone. Hey! That didnt' hurt!. Now she wanted to watch the next stitch go in. I think she would have done it herself if the doctors would let her.

Two stitches done, all bandged up, ready to go... except for the final papers. So we waited another long while. I think the whole process took more than three hours. Now the girls have seen an American hospital (this is twice for Sophia). Maybe next time won't be as scary.

Rolan

Enough About Me

2009-05-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

Thank you for that little diversion, Dear Readers. (Read below)

The kids are doing great. I still get tears in my eyes when the school bus pulls up to take or deliver Sophia and Anna. Hey, I know I'm not alone. You know who you are. Admit it. School buses do the same to you.

I'm getting used to the differences between boys and girls. My guys were never interested in "The Suite Life of Cody and Zach," or "The Princess Diaries" or "Strawberry Shortcake." But they also never covered an ordinary rock with glitter or sat with a lap full of dandelions and wove crowns of flowers (I've always wanted to know how to do that!). I never had to scold them for clothing that didn't cover properly or tell them they can't wear lip gloss for eye shadow. But its nice not to have constant discussion about body functions, explosions and other forms of destruction. I love my boys and brothers, don't get me wrong. I just find this change in environment . . . refreshing.

Ann (alias Tanya) has gotten her first report card. "A"s and "B"s. I'm proud. She was concerned about one N/C grade from a teacher that didn't finish her point count in time. This week she decided she wants to be a flight attendant. I'm thrilled. She has settled down and isn't quite so restless or blue. The phone calls to Ukraine have lessened. She has found some other teens that speak Russian and connected with some good Christians in the Russian community in Denver. She struggles with the shock of having spending money and sometimes I see temper tantrums over what we can't buy but I think (hope) she is catching on to the concept that any bankruptcy and God-fearing parent has to have a budget and can't give their children everything they want. I wish we could still get her out of her current High School but there are only a few days left so we are bearing with it. I've enrolled her in summer school and have heard great things about the teacher who teaches ESL at Boulder High, where Ann may go next fall. We are getting her High School papers from Ukraine transcribed to find out what her options are. If the school district accepts her Ukraine education then we can go from there, either putting her into a final year of high school here, just for fun and further English education, or move her on to the community college where she can learn skills that will help her with her future plans. We will give her that choice. Right now, she just wants to live with mom and dad forever and I take that as a good sign.

Sophia is hardly the same girl we hosted last summer. She struggles, still, to be as independent (and free of guidance) as possible but has learned our boundaries and those at school too. Her teacher is an angel and e-mails me constantly with joys and concerns. She loves Sophia and has solicited the help of the whole class to make Sophia comfortable. In the almost 10 weeks the kids have been home, she has changed more than I thought possible. That girl needed a family!

Anna still remains passive and reserved. I wonder who this girl is. She is happy but I think it will be awhile before her true heart comes out. She needs more one-on-one with us. In the mean time there is much love and guidance to give her the structure and safety she needs to open up when she is ready. I long to heal her too.

The first anniversary of bio mom's death is the 22nd. Ive been told to put her photo in a frame on a little table with some bread and meat and a little alcohol and a candle. There is also a liturgy to be read. I may need to call an orthodox minister to help make this comfortable for the girls. Does anyone know of other cultural practices I may have missed that would help?

So Much Time, So Little To Do

2009-05-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

Uh . . . wait. Reverse that.
For those of you who don't know me well, I have to tell you I am a Dirt Head. A Plant Nerd. A perennial, foam-at-the-mouth, pull-me-in-at-night gardener. The months of April and May are torture for me. I WANT TO BE IN THE GARDEN. When it snows or rains, as it does frequently here during those months, I stand and the window and whine incessantly. It's rather pathetic.

I knew of this malady when I adopted kids. I knew there are 10 other months of the year when I could be a somewhat acceptable, caring, attentive mother-type but I knew May would be difficult. "Self-discipline," I say to myself. It's over whelming. I've dished out for myself a huge yard of delectable blooming plants that all need attention. "Feed me! Trim me! Transplant me! Divide me!" They all shout as I walk by to my car for yet another child-related appointment. "Quiet!" I shout back. I know you will be unbearably beautiful if I stop and take care of you before next month but you will just have to wait your turn! Jesus, is there some special reward for this sort of self sacrifice?

English and Math

2009-04-27T21:23:00.001-07:00

What do you call those little breath mints that come in a clear box?
According to Anna, they are "tic-tocs".
What blooms in the Spring? Flowless.
What do you call a bathtub full of water? A drink.

My Russian must be just as bad. They laugh at me, but I am silently laughing at them, too.
They are learning English very quickly.
Most nights, when I put them to bed, I practice comprehension with them, though they don't know it.
"What color is our car?"
"How many quarters in a dollar?"
"Yes or no: you put food in your nose when you eat."

We have gone through Dr. Seuss so many times, they are already losing interest in them.
I need more books with many pictures and simple words. Spoken English is progressing nicely, reading and writing are much slower. Why must English be so hard. Even reading Dr. Seuss, so many words are not pronounced like they are spelled. There are so many exceptions for common words.

I found some software to help with multiplication. Check out TimezAttack.

Last night, I had a fire in the fireplace. At midnight, it was such a nice fire, casting light and dark on the ceiling. The girls were asleep. The house was quiet. I was at peace. Not since being in Ukraine have I been so at peace. Good things happen, bad things happen. We continue to learn about them, they continue to learn about us, and what a family could be. Still so much to learn. Good thing we have years to learn all that family stuff.

Easter

2009-04-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

All my children including my daughter-to-be! Sarah and Josh

Sank You

2009-04-15T16:31:00.000-07:00

No, it isn't short for "You sunk my battleship." It's short for "Thank you."
Short, of course, because its hard to say that "th" sound when you haven't been raised with it.
The girls are learning English at the expected turbo rate. Anna being less noticeable than the others because the others always speak for her. Get her apart from her sisters and she is just as capable of in depth lively conversation. Well, sort of.

I have to wean myself off of the little Russian I'm using to make them practice a little more. In a few weeks, we will request English only at home. Not because we want them to forget their native language but because there have been some harsh words spoken between siblings and we need to intervene. We are expecting the two younger to mostly forget their Russian but I'm hoping Tanya will be able to keep hers. Our relationship is ever-growing and she trusts my judgment more and more. I may be able to encourage her to actually build her Russian skills for employment.

Oh, by the way, Boulder High gave us the cold shoulder a couple of weeks ago. The next week, some big ugly gorilla at Tanya's current school, punched her in the arm. I oscillate between feeling helpless and angry enough to call the National Guard. I just can't believe caring parents keep their new-to-the states kids in schools like these. There must be another option. I know, I should pull her out and do home school but you have to understand this wonderful teen. Honestly, she is 90% social. If I were to keep her home, I would find a shriveled shell of a girl in the space of a week. Despite the opposition, she is much happier than she was even a month ago because she has "friends." I say "friends" because they don't speak much English and nether does she. I have no idea how they communicate.

Sometime within the next few weeks, I have to sit down with one of the people from the school district and find out what Tanya needs to get a High School diploma. She has a diploma from Ukraine but Ukrainians graduate at age 16. We will give it a lot of prayer then go and see if I can talk to someone who is knowledgeable and genuinely helpful (is this possible?!). Okay, sarcasm aside, I hope they can give me good the news that Tanya really needs only one year.

For those of you who think adopting an older teen is a pain in the neck, it is. But not because the teen is a pain in the neck, Tanya is delightful, but because the system isn't prepared for them.

"Family" and other funny words

2009-04-05T19:31:00.000-07:00

I keep having to reminding myself these are not foster children. There is no chance I will have to give them back. Unlike the other child visitors we have had living in our house, these girls are not going anywhere. There won't be some frenzied social worker popping in once a month to check on us and make sure I haven't sold the little darlings into hard labor or asking about the bruise on their arm. I am free to dream about the extra Christmas socks I need to make, the camping vacations this summer and of college educations no matter how unrequited those dreams may be. These girls are MINE, I tell you! And no one can take those dreams away. Now, I just have to believe it.

It is so good to see the language barrier being peeling away, day by day. Like a parent of a child learning to speak, it always delights me to hear they now know the seasons or kitchen implements or action verbs. We have been concentrating on learning our name, address and phone number in case of emergency. I found myself chanting our phone number to the beat of a rapper being played in the car as I drove Tanya to a friend's house nearby. Hey, it worked. Now she can't listen to that song without hearing our phone number. (I just hope she can remember the phone number without the song.) The spelling of the last name is another challenge, not easily mastered by any Christofferson. I'll give them more time with that one.

On the war front, I have met with the Principal of Boulder High School. Josh graduated from there. I know it to be a school that is academically excellent and very diverse culturally. Emphasis on the diversity. (I've also heard there are Russian speaking kids there.) Mind you, I didn't want to talk to the Principal, he was just kind of in the way while I was waiting to talk to someone else. They are never positive, those principals. The assistants are always more accommodating.
"I'm not running a babysitting service," says the Principal.
"I don't see why she can't come," says the Assistant Principal.
"There are only six weeks left," says the Principal.
"Sounds like she could use the connection," says the Assistant.

All that said, the assistant still has to talk to the grouch to get his final approval. I got on line after returning home. I found a name in the staff that I recognized. There was a particularly helpful counselor at Josh's middle school that is now a counselor at Boulder High. I shot her off an e-mail with our story. I should know by the end of the week if my efforts were in vain . . .

Us on the stairs

2009-03-29T20:02:00.000-07:00

Don't Mess With Mama (Bear)

2009-03-25T14:30:00.000-07:00

I like to think that I'm something of a quiet, gentle, people-pleasing sort of person. The kind of person who has more patience than most. One who counts carefully the cost of making trouble before making it. I try very hard not to use the "L" word (lawyer) flippantly. Honest!

I will put up with a great deal of abuse at the hands of the uncouth. But my friends, don't even think about messing with my kids. I will know. Some cosmic force in this otherwise unyielding universe has allowed mothers of all makes to have superhuman-I'm-going-to-permanently-maim-you-if-you-touch-my-kid focus and drive that overcomes me, like all healthy mothers. It's like the peripheral vision is lessened and destruction of the offensive object becomes the soul desire. I often yield.

I called the principal of the school last Friday and made my complaint known. My daughter, new to this grand country of ours is not given equal opportunity to learn in a system that is paid for in part by my (husband's) hard earned dollar! I would like (1) a student handbook in her language, (2) a translator for perhaps a week, to help her understand the culture and rules of the classroom and (3) a little more understanding of her situation by her teachers!

I checked school policy. The school district is obligated to provide a translator to parents to help them understand school policy, grades, and conferences. They are provided with a school handbook in their language to assist them in helping their child adjust. (I was given a handbook two weeks after my daughter began attending classes.)

The principal patiently heard my complaint. I thought I was exceedingly controlled under the circumstances. She promised she would call the district and see what could be done.

I received a call yesterday. She told me she voiced my complaint to the district, she was sorry they could not grant my request.
As my hero Bugs Bunny would say, "You know, this means war."
I asked for a name. She gave me one.
After the steam subsided from my ears and my face returned to its original God-created color, I called "Jorge." Once again, I forced myself to unheard of highs in personal control. My voice steady, I told him my problem and hopes to help my daughter who was being treated unkindly by a school district that I knew, had better standards.
He told me the principal of Ann's school had said I wanted a private tutor for her.
What?!
I said nothing of the sort. You can go back and read it for yourself. Its right up there in the second paragraph.

Now that odd remark implies a great deal. It could mean that the principal misunderstood me. That would be obvious. It could mean she was ashamed of her school and was trying to cover. Or it could mean she just wanted to blow me off. Or Jorge misunderstood her.
At any rate, Jorge was a dear. He was quiet and thoughtful for a time. Then he said, perhaps the school district could purchase a translator gadget (does anyone know of a good inexpensive one?), provide the handbook in her language and hire a translator (in person) for maybe part of a day.
"Lets keep in touch," he said. ""Are your other daughters doing well?"
"Yes, thank you."
The razor sharp claws involuntarily retracted.

Humph, we will see.

Routine?

2009-03-18T12:52:00.000-07:00

I don't think so. It still feels like fruit basket upset. 'Course its been only 2 1/2 weeks since we have been home . . .
Then Josh announced last weekend that he is getting married!!! OMG! We are so happy. We love Sarah and are looking forward to the wedding in July. I'll try and get a photo out soon. I had zero daughters in January, now I have 4!

The two younger girls are adjusting well to their classes with gentle and gracious teachers. Tanya (alias 'Ann') is having something akin to a nightmare amidst the "fairytale" she is experiencing here. She loves America and called it 'like a fairytale,' but her school is like a reformed school for thugs. They have made no effort to understand her incredible life change and are far more concerned with her minor rule infractions than with making her feel comfortable and encouraged. I haven't been asked about a way to communicate with her in her language (like google translation on line) but they become infuriated when she tries to call an interpreter for help. Ann has called home in tears on more than one occasion in frustration and she has only been there for two weeks! Even Anna and Sophia have not been treated this way and they have also been in error of not knowing and so breaking the rules. Have others found this to be true of other Newcomer schools? Hey, welcome to America. You must be completely uncultured, uneducated and a hardened criminal. Yes, I have some forgiving to do.

Needless to say, I'm aggressively looking into other options. Let me know if you are aware of any. So far I'm leaning heavily toward a private school.

Heading Toward Routine

2009-03-10T21:17:00.000-07:00

We have been back in Colorado for a whole week.
What have we been doing?

Going to school
Learning English quickly
Shopping at CostCo
Buying food at supermarkets
Swimming pools, twice!
Uncounted phone calls back to Slovyansk (What's the rate? Not too high, I hope. Vonage soon.)
Making friends with other adopted Ukrainian kids
Getting enrolled with insurance
Shopping at Kohls for 2+ hours
Trying on every shoe at Famous Footwear
Learning what it is like to be in a family
Bedtime rituals (I LOVE it!)
Reading Dr. Suess
Cooking meals

And again, the girls teach me about my relationship with God. We had a big session, trying to enforce a timeout. Why was it so hard? Because we are taking away control. This part is speculation, but I assume that in an internot, if you do not look out for yourself, you won't get the things you want. If your parents were alcoholics, then you had to always be thinking about the next meal, and how to help your parents. And if your parents were abusive, you had to always be aware of the emotional situation. So being in control is the difference between life and death. Sure, adults can be trusted to a point, but not very far. And now, these new adults are trying to make you do something you don't want to do. You don't understand this stupid senseless rule about sitting in one spot for an extended time, so you try to get control back. Hitting, kicking, pinching, biting, screaming, anything to keep control. And this is a lot like me and God. Sure, God is trustworthy, but only in things that don't matter too much. Try to put me through things I don't like or understand, and I will do anything to "keep" control.

I love my girls so much.

Stretching Time

2009-03-02T20:06:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday, when we were running from embassy to medical buildings to embassy, my faith was pushed to the limit. Beyond the limit. I had prayed earlier that week for Tanya's birth certificate to be done quickly. It did not happen. Instead of being able to get everything done in Donetsk in a day, we would have to find a hotel and continue the next day. On Thursday, we were running to the embassy, and I was sure we had to be there by 3:00 PM, and I was equally sure we could not do it. Things had been delayed enough that it looked like we would not complete our paper work that day, and so we would have to wait until Monday to finish a few small items.

I complained to God.

"This is too much. I no longer believe that you are capable of working in our favor. You have allowed enough delays that we will be further delayed. I'm sorry, God, but you, the God who likes to wait until the last minute, have waited too long for me. I wish I could trust you to get this done quickly, but you have not acted earlier this week when I asked, and I don't expect you to act now."

Of course, you know that we came home in record time.

So now I have another experience of a loving God who is trying to increase my faith in what he can do.

I think I did one thing right in this example. When the rich young ruler came to Jesus and asked what he needed to do, eventually Jesus told him to sell everything, give it to the poor, and follow Jesus. The ruler went away disappointed. That was the mistake. That was the mistake I avoided. I could have (not really) given up on trying to trust God. Just turned away with no intention of turning back. Instead, I wrestled with God. Like Abraham, over Sodom and Gomorrah. The rich young ruler should have argued with Jesus, or asked more questions, or anything else except turn away. I was able to tell God that he was asking more of me than I thought I could give. Maybe next time, I'll be able to believe that more is possible.

The Rush to Get Home

2009-02-27T20:15:00.000-08:00

After I finished the last entry, I showered at 1:45 AM. The alarm woke up Eileen. We started the process of waking up the girls. Sasha the driver appeared at 2:30. We dragged the luggage to the car, and went to the airport.

We were quite early, so we were in the front of a line, one of four. The lines grew longer. Still we waited. Finally, a hole was opened in the barriers separating us from the checkin terminals. A small hole. The four lines vanished into a mob, trying to get through the hole. We still got through fairly early, and were fourth in a line to check in. But then we waited for an hour, while a sports team checked in their gear. They must have had 100 checkin items. We were exhausted, and now we had to stand and do nothing.

After checking in 7 bags, we had to go through passport control. Our agent was a bit grouchy. He asked to see a specific document. I did not remember which one it was, so I handed him a packet in a clear paper holder. He left the booth, and went to examine the papers. More waiting on our part. After 10 minutes, he came back and asked specifically for the document. I dug through my pack, and found a document that had a sticky attached that read, "save for later." Now was later. I gave this to him. He read it, gave a sigh, and asked for a passport from me or Eileen. The were both in my hand, so I gave him both. "One," he said, again sounding exasperated. OK, just one. He read through the two page document, and then stamped the girls passports and let us through. Big sigh of relief.

We walked down a hall, and got in another line. Why are we not moving? The boarding passes had to be checked. And who was at the front? A member of that sport team. These guys were not winning friends or influencing people. The time for the flight to leave passed, and we were glad we had a 6 hour layover in Frankfurt. OK, a little less unhappy about the layover. I did not think we would miss it.

The flight was no problem, except I sat behind one of the sport guys, the ones who stalled us for so long. The row in front of us was the exit aisle. The sport guy was quite large, and I suspected he would want to recline his chair. The seats in this plane were installed like bus seats. My knees were already against the back of the chair in front of me. So I got aggressive. I moved my knees to press hard against the back of the chair in front of me. I am becoming Soviet minded.

In Frankfurt, some reality hit us. We had left over Ukrainian Grivney. Would they exchange it? No. I had to exchange some US bucks for Euros. Ouch. The Euro was twice as good as the dollar. And the food in the airport was expensive. A one-scoop ice cream code for 6 dollars? Even McDonalds was not cheap. We wandered through the terminal, waited in more lines. We had to rescan us and our carry on bags. While waiting, a man cam to the front of the line. "I need to get through, my plane is leaving soon." The line keeper said, "There's nothing I can do." The man said, "Sure there is, you can let me through." "No," she said, "I cannot do that. Those are the rules. Contact someone from Lufthansa for help." What an attitude. I would have let one guy through, to spare him the hassle of missing a flight. We rode a train to take us to another location in the terminal. If felt like someone had designed the terminal, and after it was built, it was found it did not suit the real needs. So blockades and trains were added to make things flow correctly. We waited. I took Nastiya for a long walk down the concourse. On the way back, Sasha ran to meet us. "Come on," she yelled. Everyone was in line, and the line went a long way. What was up? For security reasons, everyone was being rescanned. We crept slowly to the front. We were allowed to use the business class line. "Pretend you are business class," the clerk said. "Adoption, hmmm?" More waiting, and we were allowed back in the waiting area. And more waiting. Everyone waiting for the plane was herded onto buses. We were carried out onto the tarmac. 10 butt-numbing hours later we landed in Denver.

We did not get to ride the underground train at DIA. I think Tanya is the only one who has not seen this. We were sent to the citizens (yay!) line. Waiting. The officer looked over the paper work and took Tanya's finger prints. On to secondary processing. We did our favorite thing: wait. The girls were finally processed. The magic manilla folders were opened. More finger prints for Tanya. The visas were stamped. And we had 3 new American citizens. It sounded like this is still temporary. More paper work and waiting are in store for us.

We let slip the fact that we had some sliced summer sausage in our packs. We weren't going to eat them, they were getting old and had been on the "shake and bake," so they might not be in the best of shape. But now we were an agricultural problem, which meant we got to wait in a line. The meat was removed. Our bags were scanned. And we were finally allowed to get the rest of our bags. And then we stepped out of the transitory world of customs into the airport and the arms of friends who met us with joy. Welcome home!

Coming Home!

2009-02-26T09:46:00.001-08:00

Tuesday night, I had trouble sleeping. Many dreams about getting in line to buy train tickets, only to discover I was in line at a bank. I would run to the train station, get in another line, only to find that this line was for a bus. I would take the bus, and it would not take me to the train station, but somewhere in Donetsk. At this point, I would be without phone or knowledge of where I was.

We got up early. I was in a hurry, so I went over to the train station (not the bank). What could I do? Nothing. I headed back to the hotel, and there was Olga, coming toward the train station. We went in. Did they have more berths today? Nothing yet, but if we put down some money (the whole fare), the ticket seller would watch for more available berths.

There were several things to do, and they would be quick (said Olga), so I went with her in a taxi while Eileen entertained the kids. [Eileen insert here what happened with the girls.] The first place, we both went in. We waited and waited. Olga went in, did her talking, came out with papers. I sat. The next place, Olga said I could wait in the car. So I waited. Another half hour went by. Finally the third place. Again, I should just wait in the car. Much more waiting. And then we had the passports. It was 11:30. We would never have made all the appointments Tuesday afternoon. And I really didn’t need to go to any of these meetings.

Engrish aside: in the glamorous part of downtown, an ad for something expensive, a watch I think. The ad said, “A toutch of elegance.” Very prominent, very funny. Our hotel had the guide book for behavior in the hotel, laundry rates, etc. trying to understand the page on unacceptable behavior, loud noises, paying for damages, was impossible. Like a legal document, except it really made no sense. Well, I guess exactly like a legal document.

Checkout time at the hotel was 12:00, so we dashed back. First, were there enough berths on the train. And finally, some good news. We got a whole coupe and two other berths. We had a ride to Kiev that night, and a place to sleep. The train would leave at 7:40, so what would we do for the next 7 hours? For lunch, we ate at Potato House, which is part of the family that Chelentano’s Pizza is part of, so my discount card would be accepted. We were told that Potato House in Kiev was good, and it certainly was a step up from Chelentano’s. After lunch, Olga had more translation work to do, and faxes to send, so she and Tanya took off. Eileen and I took the girls shopping in the outdoor malls just by the train station. We bought socks and shoes for the airplane. Then we went back to Potato House, and got something hot to drink. Hot cocoa for fifty cents really hits the spot. Sasha and Nastiya were hungry, again, so I started feeding them sunflower seeds. After several hundred, Sasha and I took a walk.

We went through the train station. We watched a train pull out, and felt the ground shake. We helped some old ladies climb up from the track level to the boarding level. We gave some coins to some beggars. Like many places, there were stairs leading to underground tunnels, so you don’t have to cross a street or walk over tracks or some other really good reason. In many of these places, there are a pair of flat tracks, a couple of inches wide, about 18 inches apart, that go down the stairs. I finally saw that these could be for baby buggies. But here, they were made of marble, and they had snow on them, and Sasha was able to slide down these without getting hurt. I watched her do this a dozen times, and then we went back to the restaurant.

Olga and Tanya came back, and we had dinner. It was just easier not to move. I had ribs and a baked potato for dinner. These were excellent ribs. Lots of meat, very little fat. After dinner, Olga helped Eileen fill out documents for the visas, until it was finally time to get our bags. We lugged them into the train station, so we could find out what track to board on. It took another 15 minutes to find out this information. And then, the loud music started. You would think that if you were seeing a loved one off for a long period of time, and they were just about to get on a train that would take them away from you, that you would want to say something meaningful, tender, golden promises. The train station thought otherwise. Someone thought that everyone boarding a train should swell with pride at the great achievements of some political party. So we heard loud, Ukrainian music. Finally, the announcement came for our track. We carried our luggage outside, and waited. The train was slowly pulling in. Where was our wagon? Another hike down the platform, in the snow which had been falling all afternoon. It was cold. We pulled a lot of luggage into our coupe.

This train was not quite as good as the one from Slovyansk. Older, less comfortable. But there was something special about this trip. There were balloons in the wagon. There was free tea in the evening. It must have been an anniversary. We made the beds, got the girls into pajamas, had a snack, and watched outside as best we could, which was very little since it was dark. Tanya and Olga had the two other berths in another wagon. The cars were hot. I had a thermometer: 80 degrees. Shake and bake is an appropriate phrase for the night train. I tried opening a window in the aisle. I even used the curtain to direct cold air into our coupe. The wagon matron discouraged me from continuing this activity. Tanya came over with a bottle of champagne we bought earlier in the day. Sasha and Nastiya had non-alcoholic champagne. Another night of difficult sleep: harsh screeching of brakes, banging as the train stopped or started. Do you open the door to allow some circulation of air? Or do you close the door so all your worldly possessions are safe, including that stupid money belt?

At 7 am, the king of the train decided we should all enjoy more patriotic music. At least the coupes had volume control. What is the deal with loud music in this country? Why must every restaurant, store, public building, and park have loud music and televisions? Do they have these even in the libraries? OK, time to get the blood pressure under control. We put away all our sleeping gear (pads, sheets, pillow cases), and got ready for the day. The sun was shining. We were met by Sasha the driver. We managed to get all of our luggage and all 7 people into his car. Amazing. It was 8:45. What could we get done today?

Our first stop was the embassy. There was a long line of people, waiting to get in. Since we were American citizens, we moved to the front of the line. A short wait, and we were inside. We had to pass through security as tight as any airport. Then we went to the department that handles immigration and adoption. Although there were a number of people waiting, we were helped very quickly. Eileen started doing paper work, and I took the girls to a waiting room with toys, although the toys were more for toddlers. We had just started to play store, when Eileen came in. She had good news and bad news. The bad news: One necessary document needed translation, and the embassy would be closed on Friday. The good news: if we could bring back all the needed paper work by 3 PM, they might be able to complete all the work for the visas that day. Was this possible? We would try.

Off to some medical facility for exams. We got to the building, and found we did not have Tanya’s passport. This was bad. This was really bad. What happened? It was possible that her passport was still at the embassy, since it had been pulled aside for special treatment. After all, Tanya is special. Olga said the medical work could be done, because they should be able to start with just a fax of the passport. Assuming it was still at the embassy. So the girls get X-rayed, and blood drawn, and vaccinations. Olga never said, but I saw a black and white paper with passport information on it, and I assumed that the passport was still at the embassy. Which turned out to be true. The medical work was done, but we could not get Tanya’s medical papers until we had her passport. So Tanya and I and Olga got in the car, and zipped back to the embassy. It turned out that the lady who was doing our visa work was an old friend of Olga’s, so after we got the passport, the two chatted for what felt like a long time. Come on, don’t we have a tight schedule to keep? We got back in the car, but instead of going to the medical facility, we went to Olga’s house, I presume. She wanted to translate the final document. Tanya and I sat in the car, and Tanya slept. I sat. I’m getting good at it. After getting a lot of practice at sitting, Olga had the document done, and we went back to the medical buildings. We went inside, and waited. And waited some more. I got tired of waiting, so I took Sasha and Nastiya outside, to play in the snow. At about 2:50, Olga had the last paper work. We had all the pieces, could we get to the embassy in time?

The traffic was not bad. Sasha is a fast driver. Although we did not make it by 3 PM, it was not too far off. Olga told us that we had to go knock on a window, and let those inside know that we were adopting. There was no window. OK, there was a window, but it was for couriers. We knocked on the heavy metal door. We could see inside that some people were going through the security, so we waited. They let us in. Did we have an appointment? No, but we had the phone number of the woman who was doing our processing, and she told us we could come back. After a phone call, we were allowed in. The long talk Olga had earlier may have helped a lot. It’s good to know people inside. Once again, back to the adoption windows. This time, there was only one man from Ireland, who was adopting 3 boys from the west side of Ukraine. We submitted our papers, and then had to wait. Again, Sasha and Nastiya had troubles sitting, so I took them back to the larger waiting room, and we played store. After a while, we were all called back to the processing room. Eileen and I had to raise our hands, pledge to take care of the girls, we signed some papers, and some more papers, and then we had the visas. We were done with all of the paper work. The girls were ours, and they could come into the country.

Now it was time to go to our place for the night. We had help from our friend Becky. She had an acquaintance who had an apartment in downtown Kiev. We met the landlord there. The apartment was beautiful. But it had one bed. And it had a couch. OK, we needed to make this work, and we did not want to spend time looking for a cheaper hotel, so we took it. We said goodbye to Olga, and we paid Sasha in advance for taking us to the airport. After all, he could fit us all into one car. Then we got on the phone to try to find tickets home. And the big question was, could we do it Friday morning? Eileen was in the middle of the call, when the phone died. No more minutes left. Fortunately, I had another card, and we quickly put time on the phone. She called back, and we had 5 seats for America on Friday morning. That was only 12 hours away. Thanks to everyone for praying. After several delays, and what looked like even more delays, everything came together at the end.

If there are no problems, we should be back in Denver at 3:20 on Friday afternoon. The flight we got is a direct flight from Germany, so we have to go through immigration at DIA. We are coming home!

The five Christoffersons.

Donetsk

2009-02-24T11:41:00.000-08:00

Now there are 6 of us traveling. And at least 10 bags.

Olga got up early and started working the system. Eileen and I had our last breakfast in the Europa Hotel. We packed and were ready to go at 10. Olga came back and we went to get birth certificates changed for Sasha and Nastiya. This place had a door that had no restraint on shutting, and banged loudly with every person that went through. It had broken glass on the bottom half. No wonder. Then we went to the internot. We were delayed by a funeral procession. It was a short procession, but 2 buses were part of it. Out of respect, we stopped and waited. The procession went only 50 yards after we stopped, then they started getting on the buses. We continued to the internot.

We delivered two bottles of champagne, signed papers, and the girls were no longer in the care of the internot. The director gave us some ceramic pieces. Then we went to the girls' classrooms, for one final goodbye. First was Nastiya's class. Anya's (the local translator) mother gave a small goodbye speech to the class, and explained what would be happening. It got to Sasha, and she teared up. Several of the little girls came up to Nastiya and said a final goodbye. Then we went to Sasha's class, and the same speech. Again some tears.

We went outside to our taxi. Before we left, Sasha got out and gave Anya's mother a long, long hug. She obviously loves this woman very much. She also said goodbye to another woman, another teacher possibly. Then we drove downtown, where Olga did more paper work. I got out and checked the exchange rate. It has been rising very quickly over the past few days.

We traveled to the trade school, where Tanya attends class. We delivered two more bottles of champagne, and the director released Tanya into our care. Then we went to the electronics store, to finally pay for some equipment we were buying for the internot. However, the equipment had just arrived. And we did not want to pay for it until it had been inspected. Which was taking a long time. So I had to leave some money with the internot's technical guy, and we left.

Back to the hotel. Now we had a second taxi. Six people plus driver plus bags would never fit in one car. And it was "off to Donetsk!" Which meant 90 minutes of driving through one town after another, on poorly maintained roads, followed by 30 minues of cruising on well maintained roads. When we finally left the towns, we got to see the hills and valleys. It reminded me a lot of Oklahoma.

Then we came into Donetsk. A big city like Kiev. We arrived later than we wanted, and it took a while to find the correct office. And then it took a very long while to get the last birth certificate. So no luck getting on tonight's train. And the train for the next night looks doubtful: there are only upper berths left. This means we would be split among at least three cars. Not a good situation. We were told by the ticket seller that there might be a chance that more berths would open tomorrow at 8 AM. It's going to be a short night.

We booked some rooms at a hotel next to the train station. We went to a restaurant called "Sun City", which even had menus in English if you asked for them. Now the big question is, if we make it to Kiev on Thursday, can we still be home this weekend?

On the move again

2009-02-24T00:31:00.000-08:00

Monday, Olga came back to town. We went to Kramatorsk, not far away and about the same size as Slovyansk, to do more notary work.

Today, we will work on birth certificates, and hopefully passports in Donetsk. If all goes really well, we may take the train tonight to Kiev.

Day 35, 36

2009-02-21T10:03:00.000-08:00

Answers to frequently asked questions:

Should the Lord bless, and paperwork go through we could be home next weekend. (Yes, that is a prayer request).

If you choose to try and adopt the children you hosted, send the director back with a big thick photo album of pictures. We were like celebrities when we arrived here to get the girls! The staff treasures the photos and want to keep them (I’m pretty sure forever).

Learn the numbers in Russian. That is totally invaluable as you do business in the city.

After the “Honored Ambassador” experience, yes, we will be hard to live with.
We have learned from our foster care experience, that not every relative is benevolent. You have to be protective of your children first. The children may care deeply for these relatives but it may be necessary to screen all correspondence.

And now ...

Close Encounters of the Babushka Kind

Up to school to pick up the girls. Anya asked us to come early. She has class at 1pm at the college close by. Could we come at 12:30, there is a gift for us. We were presented with two beautiful metalwork pieces of art. One was a framed piece and the other in the shape of a circle. Anya’s father is something of an artist. I had marveled at his work earlier in our trip when Anya pointed out something he had made in a shop we visited. What a lovely gift to receive these two pieces created by hand! The bishop like dude is St. Nicholas. The other is of a country scene (please see our pix photo album).

Nastia was being treated for head lice. Her sisters found some nits on her head the night before and informed the proper authorities (school). The “treatment” should take 2 hours. I wondered how they could make it take so long. I began to worry about her being exposed to the chemicals they were using. However, I hadn’t brought any treatment meds with me so I’m glad they’re trying to catch it before it spreads or (gasp) hatches. That left us with some free time with Sasha.

We taxied Anya to school and stopped at the supermarket for a few things. Then we hopped the trolley for the hotel. It was overcrowded as usual. I was trying to balance myself and not step on the toes of the elderly lady whose fuzzy pink hat was just inches away from my navel. Sasha started to talk to someone in my direction. This isn’t unusual. She has many teachers and caretakers. We are in their obvious stomping grounds being so close to the internot. The trolley stopped and we wedged ourselves free of the crowds. Sasha waved at someone sitting near the exit.

“That was my Babushka!” she said of the lady in the fuzzy pink hat.

What?! The Babushka?! I smiled and waved as she turned to get another glimpse of her grandchild.

She took no notice of me but looked at Sasha with the full realization that she may never see her again.

It was the look of unmistakable grief.

Day 33, 34

2009-02-20T09:22:00.000-08:00

Honored Ambassadors

We were told we were late. They were waiting.

We scrambled up several flights of stairs to the auditorium. It was decorated with balloons and curling ribbon. A small table was set up near the stage with a blue tablecloth and a vase with live flowers. As we entered 200 children cheered. What a rush. Definitely one of the high points of my life! The English teacher came over and introduced herself holding my hand as if she has been a devoted fan all her life.

I smiled warmly as we were ushered to the table with the blue cloth and invited to sit down. Anya was at my left.

The English teacher addressed the crowds of children and teachers.

“We love to study about many countries of the world and we are learning to speak and read English. We are so happy to have you here as our honored guests,” she said turning to us. “We would like to show you something of our culture and ask you some question about yours. Is that okay?”

“Absolutely!”

One girl, who looked to be about 14, stepped up to the microphone and gave a short speech about her town. She did a good job, I thought, but at the end she stumbled on her words a little and put her hand over her mouth as she rushed to sit down (it is the way of 14 year old girls, I think).

Traditional dances, an older group and a younger group of kids in full traditional costume. Everyone who travels longs for this sort of cultural treat. People even pay money for it. Eat your heart out. Not only was it just for us and free of charge but it was also done by the pure of heart. There was some joke telling, skit style. The reciting of poems much loved by the Ukrainians both by individuals and groups, en mass. We had a special visit by a fellow who was dressed like Abe Lincoln, sans the beard, named “Mr. ABC.” They all sang a version of the ABC’s that I’m not familiar with. Probably created by those Brits.

Then the floor was open for questions. Three brave souls dared to approach.

“What do you think of our town?”

“What do you eat?” I told them anything but bugs but I should have elaborated.

“Tell us about your town.”

I was presented with the flowers and 2 reports written by children in class on the topic of America. Back at the hotel I noticed that the US has a rule making body called the “govern meat.” No comment.

Then the children were dismissed.

We went downstairs to the principal’s office where I got out the cakes we bought for the girl’s classroom celebrations. Sometime earlier in the week, Rolan caught a glimpse of an interesting room off the library and asked about it. It was a “heritage room.” The staff were proud to share it. I was mushed down the hall. What a beautiful room! A mock fireplace occupied one end of the room with ceramic pots and painted spoons. On the upper walls, traditional clothes were pinned up, dating back to the 1800’s. At the other end, a mock well and a low fence made of twigs and branches with pots turned over the fence posts. A beautiful mural covered the far wall. I was told there was a gifted artist on staff. The school has more murals than I’ve ever seen in a school. The walls never seem to have marks or are dirty. It’s really one of the cleanest schools I’ve seen. There was a long low table in the middle with 2 samovars (big urns for tea). We were invited to sit down and were given wooden spoons. Mmmmmm, lunch? No just photos. I grabbed a ceramic pot sitting on the table and mocked eating whatever imaginary oatmeal might be inside. Ah, these Americans are so funny!

On our way back to the office I took Anya aside and asked her if it would be okay to take photos of some of the kids that needed homes. Maybe we could share the photos with friends and see if we could find families for them. Anya was sure that would be okay.

After cake was served, we found our way back to Nickolas’ office. Pen in hand, Anya carefully recorded the names of each of the children that were brought in along with their ages. Rolan took pictures. I had to fight tears. I hope this orphanage in Slavyansk has many American Ambassadors in the coming months. I hope these Ambassadors come for the love of children, choosing to share their hearts ... and their homes.

This is Fedya (12) and his sister Maryna (13). Fedya has been very helpful to us. He seems like a wonderful boy. We came looking for girls, but this guy is a real sweetie.

Day 31, 32

2009-02-18T00:57:00.000-08:00

We wanted to buy disposable cameras for the girls. We tried to describe to Tanya what we wanted. Throw away the camera?? Nyet!! Tanya called Anya. She had never heard of such a thing. We called Olga, so we could get the point across. It turns out there are disposable cameras in Kiev but no disposable cameras in Slavyansk. But Tanya said she knew where we can get cameras for 100 Grivney, or about $12. Great, let’s go get cameras. The first place we shopped had shiny new digital cameras, but nothing less than about $100. Next place, same story. The next store had digital cameras for as little as $60. But we could not buy three cameras for that price. As we were walking toward another mall, I tried to tell Tanya that it’s ok for the camera to be cheap, because film is cheap. I could buy 3 or 5 or 10 rolls of film, for each of them. Tanya heard film, she heard cheap, she heard many, and she became very happy and very excited. At this point, I became suspicious. Why did she become so happy? We must have a case of “faux ami”, as the French say: a false friend. A word that sounds like it should mean one thing, but it means something else. A Russian example is the word “machina”, which means “car”. The only word I had been using repeatedly was “film”. And it was pretty clear that film meant movie. We make it clear that we were not going to buy a lot of movies. Eileen looked up the word for “camera film”, which is “plyonka”. The big smile fell from Tanya’s face. Now we were communicating again. We walked to another mall, which feels more like a flea market but stinkier. And there were cameras for $10. We picked out 3, and then I discovered I had left my Grivney back at the hotel. We decided to do the cameras later. Passed our bank and saw the guard outside on the landing. “California!” he said. No, “Colorado!” I said.

We dashed to the internot. We talked with the director about a multimedia projector we could get for his school. I wanted to see the room where they would use the projector. It was the library, which was about the size of a classroom. The head of teaching showed me this room. Then she took me across the hall to another room, the Ukrainian room. There was a wall mural of a Ukrainian village. There was Ukrainian furniture, other neat stuff. I should have taken pictures, dumb, dumb, dumb. I’ve already forgotten what was in the room.

Changing money at our favorite bank. The guard there now knew we were from Colorado. We are getting to be friends. Changing money at the bank still took a while. We were the only ones in line when we started. The cashier had to close her window, walk out and lock her cage, and go into the bank proper. A line started forming. Why can’t this be easy? She finally came back with the currency. As we left, the guard told us, “good luck.”

What happens when you get a camera for the first time? You take pictures of everything. And what happens the first time you get a camera that actually uses film? You need to examine it. Within a few hours, Sasha had opened the back of her camera, to look at the film. Nyet Otkrit! Don’t open! OK, OK! Sasha came back the next day, and said the film was broken. What did that mean? After miscommunication, we figured out she had used up the film, and the camera had automatically rewound the film. She heard this noise, wondered what had happened, opened the camera, and the film was gone. Only a can was left. She took out the can, broke it open, then threw it away. That was a $2 mistake. We’ll get more film.

Nastiya was imitating her sister. She too had to open the camera and expose the film. OK, I won’t do that again. The next day, Sasha told us that Nastiya’s camera was not working. This camera has a manual film rewind. Uh oh, I can see what happened here. So I rewound the film. It went on and on and on. Why wouldn’t it finish? Sasha showed me that it still takes pictures. OK, now we were double exposing the film. I locked myself in the bathroom, after explaining to the girls, Don’t turn the lights on (OK, OK). It takes a while, but I was finally able to get the film out of the camera. How many pictures were taken? How many were exposed? How many were double exposed? Another $2 adventure.

Babushka had her moment. She had been informed about the court date and other things. (Darn, we could have been on TV). She came to the school in the morning and took the girls aside. Sasha said Babushka railed on them until they were in tears. She asked them what they would do in America and that we would harvest their organs. I’m glad I wasn’t there. I would have boxed her ears, senior citizen or not. I’m thinking maybe she is finished with the kids now but I will ask the staff to keep her away from the children from now on. She has no more rights and is only hurting them.

Day 30

2009-02-16T01:12:00.001-08:00

What happens when you visit a market too many times? They run out of the things you like. The large market now only has rubbery cucumbers and bruised tomatoes. The little market no longer has instant soups or “sesame brittle”.

What do you do with kids when you only have a two room hotel “suite” and it’s cold and rainy outside? We eat. We play Uno. We go shopping for food. We go for a walk in the rain. Mud, ugh. You do laundry. Again.

Now, a little about the washing machine.

Ladies and gentlemen, I would ask that today you appreciate your washing machine. That’s right, that utilitarian appliance that is unsung, unobserved by the many honored visitors to your home, often hidden in closet or an unadorned room of your house. For my sake, stand in front of the thing and utter a prayer of thanksgiving. Observe every item you place inside its oft used interior and imagine trying to wash each of those items in a basin not created for that use. Standing over bathroom sink or shower, back aching, no they don’t come out as clean. For my sake, be grateful this day for this humble appliance. Thank you.

Now back to our regular programming.

We went shopping at the big market in the morning, and bought a lot of food. The girls wanted to take a taxi back to the hotel. They always want to take a taxi. What is it with taxis? Is it some kind of status symbol, to be able to afford a taxi? We went to the pizza place in the afternoon. Tanya came, and we fed them all. We went to the little market after lunch. It was raining, so we took a taxi to the hotel. Even though we just had lunch, the girls started eating again. Nastiya decided she was sleepy, so she and Eileen lay on the bed and watched TV. A Jackie Chan movie, dubbed. Sasha and I played cards. After a while, I went in to watch TV. Sasha cleaned up the room, and did a great job. Then we all ended up on the bed. We quickly went from tickling to teasing. Oh well. Back to the internot by bus. Hugs and kisses and a choop-a-choop (lollipop). Eileen and I walked back in the mist. It’s easier to walk back to the hotel, it’s downhill.

I have a bachelor’s degree in missions. Not that I ever wanted to go somewhere. I had a domestic people group in mind, but that isn’t important. In missionary school, they assume everyone is leaving the country, so they prepare you for that. I remember a thing or two they said all those years ago about leaving your country to be assimilated into another. The first month you observe and appreciate the similarities and differences of your new surroundings. A kind of honeymoon, if you will. You have respect for their culture, traditions and daily practice of survival, who they are in the grand scheme of things called the “brotherhood of man.” After about a month the delight of the new land starts to get on your nerves. You begin to miss the things unique to home (or the things home does better). The thought of a McDonald’s hamburger would not, even under the most dire circumstances, appeal to my snobbish American taste buds while on American soil, but being so far from home for this length of time and observing somewhat closely the quality of the equivalent here, I would pay; yes give actually money, for even a small bite of said burger this side of the Atlantic.

This is the sort of thinking that goes through one’s mind, one month into the process. Why don’t they turn the lights on around here? Its dark enough even in the daylight! Stop littering people! You really must pass some laws to keep the average person with reasonable bladder control from eliminating wherever he pleases. To say nothing of the dogs. The rant will stop here. However this should give you some insight as to why a person who has been here for 4+ weeks starts to forfeit little bits of sanity to stay afloat on the sea of alienation. Bear in mind those who have questionable sanity to begin with, stand even more to lose.

My husband is on the floor squishing ants.

Day 29

2009-02-14T12:37:00.000-08:00

We walked into town for the first time. We have always taken the trolley or bus so we have never checked out the sidewalks between here and the city center. Bought soap, deodorant at a tidy store chain called “Eva” much like Walgreens in the US. We may look funny to the locals but we still want to smell good.

Walked back to hotel. I caught a bus to the internot. The girls were waiting in the play area. When we got back to the hotel, everyone ate. Don’t want all that food to go to waste! Tanya arrived while I was getting the younger girls and gave Eileen a beautiful golden ceramic tea pot, sugar bowl and tea cups. A gift from Igor’s mom Oksana. Sasha and I were going to walk to a park. When Tanya saw us leaving, she joined us. Nastia and Eileen stayed behind to take a nap.

Tanya talked while walking, very upset. Sasha urged me give Tanya some money for a ride to visit friends. Sasha and I walked to an old amusement park close by. It looked like it had been built in the 1950’s, and poorly maintained. Trenches were dug everywhere. They must be working on the water system. The dirt (mud) was piled everywhere. The place looked like a swamp. The melting snow and rainwater hadn’t drained, creating large puddles everywhere. Wondered if this was a mosquito amusement park during the summer. Sasha climbed on the decrepit rides. She wanted me to join her.

We watched the crew dig in the mud and get ready to pump water out of the trenches. Sasha wanted to go to another park, I wanted to walk back toward the hotel using a different route. Walked past another monument, soviet style. A guy holding a 1930’s style machine gun. I choose to believe he is a war hero and not a Ukrainian mob icon. As we approached the hotel, we saw that the entrance was crowded. There had to be 50 people. As we got close, we noticed a couple was dancing in front of a nice car, possibly a limo. One or two more joined the dance. An older man had a red sash with gold threadwork. Soon the dancing stopped, and a bride and groom got out of the car. The bride mostly in white, the groom with sashes and other colorful garb. Rice was thrown. A dish was broken. Coins were tossed. Then they went inside for the reception. This was at 1PM. The festivities are still going at 10PM. These people know how to party!

All four of us went into town to Chelentano’s (beloved pizza place) for some food. Tanya and Igor joined us. The place was packed. Could be because of Valentine’s Day? Igor gave Eileen a Calla Lily with red coloring. As we walked back to the hotel, we noticed the flower market in all its Valentine’s Day glory. Some of the sellers had moved their wares to the street for quick pickup by the forgetful and rushed. We bought some heart-shaped helium balloons for the girls. It was encouraging to see these people in the dingy darkness of the day and place, cheered by the beauty of flowers, balloons and celebration. Here’s to you St. Valentine.

Day 28

2009-02-14T12:36:00.000-08:00

Breakfast served by Kate. She speaks English. Eileen bought some loose leaf tea by mistake and wanted to have it served to us in a pot. Kate was accommodating. We blessed Kate with the whole box trying to explain that it would be great to have for the next 10 mornings. Wonder if we will get it tomorrow.
Washed a lot of socks.

Tanya arrived. We went shopping for food. We took a trolley to the market. There wasn’t the usual money taker and we couldn’t figure out whom to give the money to. Free today! We saw a book store before food shopping, and bought Tanya two cookbooks. It seems like a fitting gift for a girl who loves to cook. Now she can take the traditional and classic foods of Ukraine with her to her new life, and I won’t benefit at all. Purely a selfless act of generosity on my part. I’m glad you agree.

We bought a lot of food at the market. They had some instant soup we had been looking for as well as a small cutting board to slice the much loved cucumbers and salamis. Ah Pringles ,(a replacement for the hamburger). Living in a hotel, we’re eating obscene amounts of instant foods. We generate so much trash that the hotel clerks have taken up leaving us our daily trash bag when they remove our full ones each day. We had so much to carry today, we took a taxi to the hotel. Having packed away the munchies, at 2:00, I went to get the girls. They were not done with school, so I had to wait a few minutes. Other kids came out, wanted to practice their English. “Hello, my name is Maria.” We walked back toward the hotel. We walked with some kids that Sasha and Nastiya knew. They had a guardian that was taking them into town. Tanya was gone by the time I got back. We played card games, watched ‘Mary Poppins’ and munched.

Day 27

2009-02-13T11:21:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen Friends and Relatives
(Ahem)
It is with great joy that we announce the adoption of:
Tatianna Ann Christofferson
Born: January 4, 1992

Sophia Ann Christofferson
Born: September 3, 1997

Anna Renee Christofferson
Born: December 20, 2000

Adopted this 12th day of February 2009
Parents Rolan and Eileen are dazed, uh, fine.

After 4 years, we finally found what we’ve been looking for!

The day started with a bit of rare sunshine. Clouds moved in but we remained hopeful. Tanya popped in looking beautiful at 11am. Rolan went and got the girls at 12. They showered, dressed and ate and ate and ate (but that’s another story).

At 1:40, we caught a cab for the courthouse. I still think we are going to see a big beautiful building instead of a post-soviet cinderblock box whenever we have to go some place official. They are always practical and not extravagant in any way. A steel fence surrounded the complex with an unusual winged hammer and sickle symbol mounted in the iron. The small parking lot was dirt. The girls were very excited. They ran ahead up 2 flights of stairs and down a narrow hallway lined with benches full of waiting people.

Olga was there. Tanya cornered her instantly blanketing her with chatter.

The court assistant came out and announced something. No one moved. She went in. Then she came out a few moments later to tell Olga something. Our boisterous mob filed in leaving the hall quiet again. It was 2 sharp.

The courtroom was surprisingly small with seating for 15 at most. In one corner there was a small jail cell with a bench. Three short pew-type benches and 4 desks. The recorder sat at one, there was one for the lawyer, one for a defendant and the judges “bench,” which was the smallest of all. The room was painted a very light pink but it was clean and well kept. The furniture looked fairly new. Each piece had a number. The flag and seal of Ukraine hung haphazard on the wall just behind the judge’s bench.

The judge himself looked to be in his 30s. He read the information on each document in a monotone voice, as fast as he could, signing each page as he went. Note to Ukrainian adopters: They do read all this stuff we send.

Representatives from Social Services, the orphanage and Tanya’s trade school were also there to give voice for the children along with 2 random guys whom I assumed to be witnesses (I guess they were ‘jury’).

We were asked why we wanted to adopt these children.

“Because we love children and we believe every child should have a family.”

“We hosted Sasha and Nastia last summer and fell in love with them. When we came to adopt them, we fell in love with Tanya too.” Olga translated for us.

Finally the monotone voice stopped. The judge and the 2 random guys went out for 5 minutes to deliberate. We talked. Contrary to my protests, Nastia wanted to investigate the contents of my purse. Tanya wanted some bucks for a gift for a friend. Sasha went over to the mic on the defendant’s desk and started tapping and talking into it.

Ah, family.

It was over before I knew it. Everybody believed the adoption is “in the best interest of the children.” There wasn’t a single voice of opposition. I bet the judge and the two random guys went out for a smoke.

We were off to “Chelentanos.” Olga bid farewell until the mandatory 10 day wait is over. The papers will be ready the morning of the 24th. We will need her here then!

We messed around until early evening. Tanya went home. Sasha and Nastia made a few more Valentines for buddies at the orphanage. We decided to have a light dinner in the attached restaurant. The food isn’t often good but pricey anyway. However this evening, the borshch was great. We were the only ones being served.

As we were finishing up, we watched a photographer come in and set up a light in different spots, moving it from one place to another. A lady in a white fur coat came over to us. In broken English, she said she was from a TV station filming a series on local dining spots. This restaurant was to be featured on Saturday. If we agreed to be filmed, our names could be selected to win a free dinner at this restaurant. (Oh, how thrilling.)

Well, how do you like that? Hollywood finds us even in the remote Ukrainian city of Slavyansk.

After careful consideration, I said no. Though I knew she wouldn’t understand, I said something about protecting the children. We got out of there.

The girls grew up here. They know quite a few people. I don’t think anyone has the power to stop the adoption but they could make trouble should they decide to. Yeah, let’s avoid that. Sorry young starlets, no TV appearances this week.

P.S. A little something about all the Ann(s). Tanya and Sasha both chose their names. Tanya liked Ann for a middle name and then Sasha decided she liked it too. We helped Nastia to choose her name. She showed some interest in Anna but couldn’t seem to give a definite answer. Anna is a great American name and short for her birth name of Anastacia so it stuck. Funny thing: the girls chose their names before without knowing my middle name is also . . . Ann.

Court Date Update

2009-02-12T06:51:00.000-08:00

We had our court date this afternoon. Much reading of documents. At one point, the judge pulled out one of the documents and set it aside. That did not look good. However, after reading all the documents out loud, the stray paper was put in the folder with everything else. After saying the right words, the judge and recorder stepped out to make the decision. We waited 5 minutes. The judge came back in, more reading of documents. And we were approved.

Day 26

2009-02-12T00:19:00.000-08:00

Little Doggie in a Red Jumpsuit

Another new breakfast. Something served on a piece of bread. Cheese, maybe, or salad dressing. Served by Kate, Katiya, the waitress that can speak some English. She always smiles. I like her.

In the morning, Eileen and I went downtown to get some money exchanged. Hopped on the trolley, and almost fell down as it started. Eileen may have bopped the ticket lady. She gave us the evil eye the rest of the trip.

Found a bank with a good exchange rate. Depending on the size of your town, there are always many places that will exchange. You can do a little shopping around for the best deal. The bank we chose this morning was pretty small. You had to file in single file. While waiting our turn, the security officer showed Eileen a place to sit. He was obviously looking for a little conversation. After 4 weeks, I (Eileen) still don’t know how to say, “I don’t speak Russian.” He was amused. Meanwhile, one of my 100’s was rejected. It had a spot, and some slight scribbling on it. The security guard came over and tried to talk to us. Was it about the hundred? He was talking to the cashier, and both were laughing. Eileen got out the dictionary. The guard mimed that he needed glasses to read. We found the word: country. What country were we from? Finally got across that it was America. “Colorado,” Eileen said to further amuse and confuse the man. As we left, he patted me on the back, reassuringly. I like that bank.

We did some shopping, then hopped back on the trolley. It was the most crowded I have ever seen it. It was the kind of squishing Felix told us about, where you wonder about the ethical place to keep your hands (not that you get to move them). People kept jumping on. Reminded me of a Weird Al song, “Another One Rides the Bus”: I think I’m missin’ a contact lens, I think my wallet’s gone, and I think this bus is stoppin’ again to let a couple more freaks get on. It sounded like the ticket lady (the same one Eileen bopped earlier) was shouting at people that they should take a taxi. She shoved her way past people, and I was able to pay her. We were lucky to get off at our stop.

Tanya came over, starved. She may be staying at friends, things may be rough between her and Igor. She ate most of the food we had. I read my mail. Found out I needed to fax some things back to the US. We ran downtown to the Post Office. Successfully faxed a document. Ran to the printer store, also a photo shop of sorts. Printed a document and signed it. Tanya produced a tiny photo of her mom. Could they blow it up a little? How much? One dollar. It would cost more at home. Like 10 times more. Sure, let’s get three copies. One for each girl. Ran back to the Post Office. Faxed another document. We were slow about our business and a line was forming. A lady came in with a little dog, yes, in a red jumpsuit. No leash, mind you. The little fellow wandered around but never went more than 8 feet from his lady. Judging from the food in the markets, I think this is mostly the cat-for-pets part of town. The apartments are too small. It’s hard to say for sure, however. How many of those street dogs are really following someone they know?

Tanya helped us find a taxi that dropped her off at her house, but then the taxi guy shut off the engine. What’s going on? A few minutes later, someone wanted his parking spot, so he drove down the alley, turned around, then drove back to the now vacant spot, and again shut off his engine. I called Tanya. No, she is not coming back. We convinced the guy to take us to the internot. Sasha and Nastiya were waiting, as we were about 30 minutes late. Lots of kids playing outside and hovering around. It looked like S and N were pretty happy to be whisked away in a taxi. We all went back to the hotel.

Sasha and Nastiya and Eileen worked on valentine cards for a while. We brought paper, lacy hearts, stickers, markers and glue. A great project for them. They loved making cards for teachers, friends and mystery people. Then we all went downtown for dinner. We wanted to go to a burger joint. We walked inside, but burgers were not being served. Humph. So we went back to good old Celentanos, the pizza place. We managed not to order too much even though we were hungry. Then to the market. We told the girls they could pick up one thing. Sasha went for big. Nastiya went for fish. That got Sasha’s attention. She wanted fish, too. She wanted a big fish wrapped in plastic. What do they do with this? Just dig in? Is it like sushi without cutting the fish into pieces? Do you just take a big bite out of it? This was supposed to be a snack. We told Sasha the big fish was out. She tried to find something else she wanted. This was taking far too long. Finally she found a bag of dried fish pieces, sort of like beef jerky. All I can say is, Yuck. Then I told the girls they could have ice cream. Another flurry of trying to find first, something huge, then second, something cool. We finally made it out of the store.

We caught a non-crowded bus back to the hotel. The girls ate their ice cream, giggling and teasing each other. Ah, after cokes with dinner, maybe this was just a little too much sugar? I walked with them back to the internot. I walked to the big supermarket and got some more items. Maybe we can keep ahead of the need for instant soups! Shopping is fun. Then I walked back to the hotel. Walking is fun. By this time, it was foggy and drizzling. It was easy to imagine that I was not in Ukraine, but in Yellowstone National Park. It was cold, wet, dark; perfect camping weather. It must be perfect, since that is quite often the weather we get when we go camping. I had heard that December was the warmest month in Ukraine in hundreds of years. Well, now we are here, and now the weather is perfect.

Day 25

2009-02-10T12:10:00.000-08:00

A Day of Firsts

Awake in the night. The first time I've heard a siren of some emergency vehicle downtown somewhere.
The first hotel breakfast I've served that I didn't like. It was an egg and meat omelet. I took a few bites and had to quit. It tasted fatty.

I planned on eating one of the many bags of instant oatmeal imported by our own loving hands, but didn't have much of an appetite.

Got a call from Olga. It's set. Court is Thursday and the girls will attend. Ah. I'm looking forward to it.

Tanya came by about a half hour early. She talked about family and how good it was that we were a big family. I think this is something she and Anya have been trying to communicate to Sasha. It seems to be at the crux of some wayward thinking on Sasha's part. Like we could choose to adopt individuals.

Off for a manicure. Tanya completely occupied one lady for 3 hours. I had no idea fake nails would take so long. I was going to just get some simple polish, but ended up requesting artwork reminiscent of the painted plates I had seen in souvenir shops in Kiev. It should compliment my outfit for Thursday's court. Okay, it's a little over the top for me, but a treat for a weary traveler, far from home. (I would never do this in Boulder, eh Wendy?) My fingernails are works of art!

Three hours and 50 painted fingernails later, we caught cabs for 'Absolut Cafe'. Not a chain, Anya says. Borshch, cabbage salad, chicken fried steak, cheese dumplings were consumed in a flurry. This is a clean cafe with lovely curtains, tile floors, TV, and lighting. A delightful ambiance. I catch a glimpse of a gray tail moving across the floor. Then a small gray cat jumps on one of the chairs at our table. A cat in a restaurant? That's a first! He came over to where I was sitting, and I stroked his soft back fur, then scratched his back. I think he was begging. I have a strict no-cats-in-the-lap rule while I'm eating. I scooted closer to the table. I tried not to think of my own beloved beasties at home.

We stepped out into early evening. The rain had turned to snow. Time to take the girls home.

We had dropped the girls off and turned onto the boulevard when the cabbie pulled over. He got out and went around to the back of the car and back in again. He sheepishly said something in Russian and got back out. We could walk to the hotel, and I told Rolan but I couldn't get out. The left back door was locked form the outside, and he was working on the rear right wheel where I was sitting. If I opened the door I would hit him in the head. The back hatch opened. Tools removed. Jack the car. A few minutes passed. It appeared he was moving quickly. Rolan got out and tried to explain that we could walk. The cabbie insisted that we stay put. Rolan got back in. OK. Front hood opened. What, the engine too? What kind of car is this? Unknown. A tire was removed from under the hood. A few more minutes. He was working as quickly as he could, I was sure. Changing a tire in the dark in the snow with people in your car cannot be a pleasant moment in the day of a taxi driver. Back hatch opened. Tools returned. Front hood came down. Car started. I should have timed him. "Bistra," (fast) I said. He laughed and smiled.

Day 24

2009-02-10T01:34:00.000-08:00

I don’t believe in omens, but if I did, the heavy rain in the morning would have been one.

I woke up feeling not-so-good, so after a breakfast of pancakes, I went back to bed and slept until 11:30. Then I tried a cup-of-noodles with a not-so-hard-boiled egg added. Cup of noodles (ramen) here is like cup of noodles in the US, but less salty. Eileen had an instant cup-of-soup, a classier version of the dried stuff at home, this one has a concentrated foil packet of wet ingredients. We have cleaned out the local market of their instant foods. Tanya came over, and I tried working for a while, but the power went off twice in 5 minutes. My laptop has a battery, but I have an external hard drive where most of my work is, and it does not like having power yanked away. Power is going up and down because work is being done on the hotel. Tanya let her feelings be known about the TV going off and on.

At 2:30, we three headed for the internot. The rain had stopped by now. The bus/trolley was slow in coming, so Tanya started walking. We took the walkway down the middle of the boulevard. It’s paving is not yet broken up, and it was dry. As we approached the internot, we saw a small crowd of people looking up the road. We looked, and saw a man lying on the road. A car was stopped a few yards in front of the guy. Had the car hit him? No, the driver had gotten out to help the man. He and another guy picked up the downed man, and tried to help him walk, but it looked like his legs would not hold him up. We were continuing on toward the internot. Sasha and Nastiya were waiting for us, and came running. We turned around to go to the clothing store. The crowd was gone, but as we walked past the site where the man was lying in the road, we saw him lying by the side of the road. Sasha indicated he was a drunk. He had a nice coat and hat on. Is this what happened to our girls’ mom? At some point she just gave up, and lay down by the road?

Not far to the clothing store. Direct transliteration of the store name: Fart. Oh, well. I’ve encountered this sound in German: ehr/sie/es fahrt. The store did not smell bad despite the name. We found some jeans and shirts and pajamas for the littler girls, socks and unmentionables, but only one pair of jeans for Sasha. While shopping, Tanya got a call that made her very agitated. Tears. Are you OK? Yes. I doubt it. We called a taxi, and rode into downtown. We found more jeans for Sasha. Tanya wanted some pajamas. Eileen said OK. Tanya wanted sexy pajamas. Sorry, no. What ? Why not? Our house gets cold at night and she needs something non-revealing to wear to the bathroom. (Eileen) I wish I could find a “granny” flannel gown just to tease her. We find a shop that sells pajamas that we would consider to be ok: full length terry with cats on the front. Kind of childish, but not too much. Tanya acted like it was an oversized burlap bag with holes for arms and feet. Then we found something a little more shapely but still warm. She was OK with that, after considering the burlap bag.

I found some magnetic Cyrillic letters for the fridge at a little toy shop. Fun.

We went to the pizza place for early dinner. More words were spoken. Now Nastiya is crying. Now Sasha is crying. Tanya got out a napkin out and started wiping tears away from her own face. I badly needed a tape recorder, so I could find out what was being said. Tanya said this is “normalno”, which I thought meant OK, but maybe it means this is normal behavior. This is not normal in my book. Tanya headed home with her PJs.

The four of us walked out of the pizza place, and into the store next door. I think it was just a curiosity check. It had maps! It had a map of Slovyansk! Finally, we can get our bearings. It was wonderful! It was beautiful! Major victory! The store also had books geared toward teaching children to read. We must come back here. Next stop was the local market, another favorite place. We got pop and juice and instant meals. I thought we got shelled sunflower seeds. No such luck, shells still on. Then we caught the trolley back to the hotel.

The girls tried on their new clothes and I took pictures. We told the girls that the clothes are for travelling to the US, and they cannot wear them to the internot. More tears. I put on “Toy Story” to distract them. After 30 minutes, the clothes must come off. More tears. Sasha threatened to stay in Ukraine. This is not new behavior for her. Last summer when she stayed with us, she threatened to catch a plane back to Ukraine. Eventually, Sasha changed clothes, put on her coat, and sulked. Nastiya would not remove the clothes. Eileen and I had to do it for her. Hugs and kisses. Wish they could understand. I got some food in a bag for their dinner.

We caught the trolley back to the orphanage stop. No one was collecting money. That bothered me, but Sasha thought we got away with something. As we got close to the internot, Sasha wanted to divide the food between her and Nastiya. I think she wanted to do this before we are in sight of the other kids. I gave them both big hugs and kisses and tried hard to let them know how much I love them. I walked back down the boulevard. It was getting foggy and drizzling slightly.

For dinner we had instant meals. Eileen’s was a kasha meal, mine was a chicken soup. Mine had a large urinal cake of noodles at the bottom of the bowl. They both tasted good.

Was today a bad day? Is the honeymoon over? Being reminded of the challenges of parenting. Where will I find a Russian speaking therapist for the children? And what about Sylvia?

Day 23

2009-02-08T08:57:00.000-08:00

Lunch with Igor’s mom.

We left a little early. We thought we would meet the small group at noon but Tanya called at 11:30 to say they were already at the restaurant. We hopped a bus and headed a few miles down the road to a favorite, “Chinook.” I thought maybe they had snatched the wonderful Indian word for the warm wind that blows in Colorado in the winter but it’s pronounced differently and means something like, “a bar.” No Igor, I think he had to work but Oksana was there, Tanya and Anya to help with conversation. The restaurant was empty. We found a place in a more private room. A fellow came in and turned on some lights and the TV in the corner of the room. Discovery Channel! A family favorite at home. At one point this channel selection became horribly unappetizing as we watched “Survivor Man” eat some poor innocent grub he found. I floundered. Uh, Plov? No it has to be called in ahead of time(I’ll get some yet, Felix). Chicken Kiev? A default but okay. I find it to be dry but edible. I recommended Ragu for Rolan as it’s a stew. Anya ordered her favorite, which was Greek salad.

We chatted about life in America. Then, I asked Oksana if she had always lived in Slavyansk. No, she is originally from Russia but came in ’82. They have one child, Igor. Tanya has been like a daughter. I thanked her for giving Tanya such loving advice. There are indeed many opportunities in America. Boulder especially. We are kind of education junkies in Boulder. We have colleges, trade schools, a University and even a cooking school. Does she let Tanya do all the cooking? I liked Oksana. She didn’t eat much. I don’t know if she was nervous or actually had eaten some before - hand as she said. I had made a soft blue scarf for her and gave Igor a little light that attaches to a key ring with extra batteries when the current ones burn out. A cool gadget. An hour and a half later, we bid farewell and headed for the internot.

Still a half of a block away, the girls came running to us. They must have been playing outside. I was glad. The world had melted and lay in impassable pools. Rolan was wearing his dress shoes so he could re-waterproof his boots. The mud was unforgiving. We stopped at the little market near the internot in search of water, tissues, or other needed things. They have the most delectable cakes. Nastia picked out a single serving chocolate one. I wanted one too. Sasha requested a sprite. Rolan grabbed 4 gallons of water (with convenient handle for carrying). Rolan had noticed earlier a single car width, paved road down the middle of the parkway in the middle of the boulevard. There were others walking on it and it looked drier and better attended then the sidewalk we had been using. Sure enough. It was an excellent way to go.

We fed the girls and played cards with them. Then we took a taxi back to the internot, and then to the supermarket. The taxi waited while we shopped. We are buying the girls “crabbie”, which looks like fake crab meat.

Day 22

2009-02-08T08:53:00.000-08:00

Keeping Herstories

Today, we had an agenda. After our usual morning routine, we hired a taxi, loaded girls and went on a photo shoot. Morning routine was not quite usual: I tried doing some laundry in the shower.

Our first stop was a hospital. With a little pre-arranged help from interpreter Anya, we told Tanya to instruct the driver to go to the building where the babies are delivered. This is the place where Sasha and Nastia first entered this world. Tanya was born in Donetsk. Ro took a few photos so the girls would always remember and be able to tell, and show, where they were born.

Then we drove through some back streets to where there were houses more than apartment buildings. There seems to be the land of apartments and the land of farmhouses and the land of houses, among other lands not necessary to mention here. (Man, I’m starting to sound like English is second language!)

Anyway, at Tanya’s command the taxi driver pulled over. It was a home in ruins. There was a great deal of large things cast around. Sasha and Nastia were under strict command not to get out of the car. Second stop was Grandma’s old house. It was close to where Grandma currently lives and Tanya didn’t want to attract Grandma’s attention. It is thought that Grandma is malevolent and not only doesn’t approve of the girls being adopted but believes they are better off just finishing their education by the 9th grade. We will not be visiting Grandma. We took photos of this ruin because Sasha and Nastia lived with Grandma for a while. Sasha said the house caught on fire not once but four times, with the two young girls inside. Let’s just say there were some issues here.

We stopped briefly at the flower market. This is across from the trolley/bus stop. It has helped me more than once to get my bearing when we were lost or had gotten turned around. I will always notice the flowers! Until this trip, I always thought I had a good sense of direction, but golly gee, I also realized I have lived by tall mountains all my life so I was never really tested!

Flower market. The girls picked three red roses and the seller curled ribbon around the stems. Then we set off for the cemetery. We kept driving and driving. I expected us to pull up to an area in the center of town or near the edge in a park like setting. We were completely out of town. We drove past some larger homes and some with large gardens out back. Then, just as we were running out of road, we passed a small airport and look a left. I saw gravestones. Some were made of metal, oddly, and other materials. All had photos of the dearly departed. Some, as with American cemeteries, were well tended and others had been neglected. We drove another mile on rough muddy road. There were little tables and benches in some plots. Trees had been planted. The snow was just about melted out here, revealing trash and weeds. Even further in the cemetery. I think we discovered the “forest lawn” of Slavyansk. This part of the cemetery was about 30 yards wide and kept on going.

Finally, the driver was instructed to pull over. These were fresher graves. That makes sense. The girls’ mother passed away only last May. The ground was hopelessly muddy. I made my way though a different route than Tanya, Sasha, Nastia and Rolan. I managed to stay mostly on tufts of crusty weeds. There it was, only marked by a wooden cross and the customary silk flowers and a cloth with a prayer (thanks De). The girls left their roses. I said thanks to the woman who gave birth to these lovely girls. I promised to take care of them. (Rolan) I can understand where stories of zombies come from. The ground over the bodies rises quite high. The wet snow and rain makes the ground very soft. When your foot gets stuck in the mud, it is easy to imagine something horrible is reaching up from the grave to getcha!

We spent 10 minutes trying to clean our boots on the little snow we could find so we wouldn’t bring the cemetery back into the taxi and the hotel. Our trip back into town was quiet. Not a word spoken.

The girls played in the room, battled with balloons, even Tanya. Then we went into town to eat at the café “Absolut”. For some reason, we were turned away. It may have been booked. So we went back to the pizza place. We are tired of that place, and are looking for anything else. We have found a couple of burger joints we need to try. We walked to the town square market and picked up some food. Then a bus back to the hotel, and an expensive taxi round trip to the internot. Tanya came over, ate some food, watched some TV, and made a Valentine. We are hyping Valentine’s day. Tanya got tired, and went home. We watched BBC for a while, and crashed.

Day 21

2009-02-06T10:43:00.000-08:00

Back to Slow

Typical morning. Pancakes and yogurt for breakfast.

I decided to do laundry. I washed some T-shirts in the shower. It took all day for them to dry. Are they clean?

Tanya came to the hotel. She told us that today is Igor's mother's name day. Tanya wanted money to buy a gift for her. Eileen gave her a "little plant flower thing" and a little makeup to give to mother-in-law instead. These were gifts brought from the US to be given away. Tanya wanted money to go out dancing with friends, to celebrate a teacher. Five dollars goes a long way here.

I was able to work for 4 hours. Finally a block of uninterrupted time. I got to play some Tom Waits while Eileen napped. Great stuff. Some of it applies. "No one speaks English, and everything's broken." Tom, I hear you there.

We got the girls at 2:30. The room was being cleaned when we got back from the internot, so we waited in the restaurant. The daughter (10 years old?) of one of the hotel owners came in, and started coloring at one of the tables. Sasha, very outgoing, invited herself and started coloring too. Soon we all moved upstairs to a better lighted table. I got a coloring book and some markers from our room, so we could share. After a while, we retired to our room, and Sasha played outside with her new friend for a while.

When Sasha came in, we fed Sasha and Nastiya apples, bananas, soup, cheese, bread, juice. Then they played with Paint on my computer, taking turns. I got out Uno, and we played that for a while. We got out balloons. Long skinny balloons. That was a big hit. We made some butterfly wings, and "hats", and things to wear on the wrist. It was fun to watch them model their balloon apparel in front of the mirror.

We ate at the hotel restaurant, a very light meal. Chicken for the girls, "greek" salad for Eileen. Then we had cake and ice cream for dessert. Sasha is always running to take charge. She calls the waitress over, makes some orders. She calls the waitress over, asks for the bill. She goes to the front desk, and calls a taxi. She jumps in the taxi, gives directions. It is common for kids in a chaotic household to try to impose control. It's helpful right now, but in Colorado it's going to be tough since the customs are different.

We had a couple of eggs that had cracks, so making hard boiled eggs was questionable. We took them to the clerk, and tried to indicate that we wanted them cooked for breakfast tomorrow. The last time we tried to indicate eggs and tea, we got bilinnis and coffee. I wonder what we will get tomorrow.

Day 20

2009-02-05T12:48:00.000-08:00

The day the world melted.

Woke tired and took a nap after breakfast. It was helpful to remember we are on vacation.

English teacher Anya called from school around noon to tell us the girls have a concert at 4pm and could we come and pick them up soon for the day?
Oh, all right. We will cancel the committee meetings, the important conference calls and lunch with the president to see our little darlings!

Still in our sleepy stupor, we gathered ourselves together and crossed the street to catch the trolley. It had been raining all morning. The outside world was a sopping mess! I wanted to flag down the trolley and yet not get too close to the street to get sprayed with the small lake of water in front of us. The 6 inches of snow was being quickly removed by a slight to moderate rain.

The trolley saw us and stopped but it was in vain. It was packed to the gills. The doors opened but I don’t know how. There wasn’t room for another single skinny body. Okay, head cold and laziness aside, we will walk the half mile to the internot. Rolan’s boots weren’t as waterproof as we hoped but they were never intended to forge the rivulets we crossed on our way. Surely they must sell waterproof here in Slavyansk somewhere. How do you say “Mink Oil” in Russian?

Tanya met us in the school foyer. There is such a beautiful mural in the entry to their school of a small house in a wood with a creek running next to it. We were waiting for the girls and watching people bring stuff in for the concert which we quickly learned was actually a circus. Nastia’s class came out with the teacher and the director’s wonderful assistant, Illiona. The class sort of clustered around us and asked questions in English. “What is your name?” “My name is Freya.” I started to point to the individual children and asked them their names. I felt their excitement as they discovered they could communicate with someone else in another language. When the game started to get old, the teacher lined the children up and we left in a taxi for the clothing store.

I was hoping for something larger than what we found. The biggest one store we have seen here so far, is the market on the edge of town that is just a bit bigger than a regular Seven-Eleven. Other stores are tiny stores inside a bigger building. This one was self contained but was two rooms about 10x10 with children’s clothing. Again, priced quite high.

The clerk picked out two coats. Both a practical down to keep the girls warm on the coldest day. Nastia’s is a dark, purple-gray color and Sasha’s a blatant gold. I keep teasing Nastia now, asking her if she is cold.

Oh, because we are using this satellite internet, it’s always available to us but very slow going downloading photos so we are just putting them into our photo album. Click the icon on the left side of our blog ‘Picasa’. Please keep commenting but we will have to wait for a better connection to read them! Thank you.

After our coat purchase we went to a little café that caught the girls eyes but hasn’t been open at the right time. Café Sokol. We were the only ones there. Lunch took awhile anyway but everything was delicious. It was a nice change from our pizza place. I discovered a hamburger hangout that we should try too. Okay! Alright! Yes, I miss hamburgers! I can see why many of our dear fellow travelers to this country resort to the likes of McDonalds. We are just lucky Slavyansk doesn’t have one. I stopped short of buying a hamburger a few days ago at the super market. It was a fully cooked patty with bun, cheese and pickle sitting cold behind a deli glass. I just couldn’t do it.

Anyway, lunch done, we caught a cab back up to the hotel for fresh camera batteries and up to the internot for the circus. We were ushered into Nastia’s class already in session. They were reciting something but stopped for a quick English lesson. We sat in the back. Nastia showed she could count to 20 (that’s my girl!). They recited the months and the greeting we heard earlier in the school foyer.

Over all, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the classrooms and general upkeep of the internot. The buildings remind me of old inner-city high schools. The rooms are vacant of most furniture. The floors are clean as are the walls. No peeling paint or broken glass. I noticed new lacy curtains on all the windows and plants on all the window sills. The buildings are not any worse off than many of the buildings in town. The school and internot are detached. They are each 4 or 5 stories high and the stairs, though made of stone or cement, are chipped and worn where thousands of feet have given them cause for repair. The rebar shows but not yet a danger. Nastia’s classroom had a comfortable feel. I liked it. Everyone we see obviously cares deeply for the children and gives them positive attention. When we rose to join the kids for the circus in the school auditorium, several girls were fighting to hold my hands. I asked Sasha and Nastia if they could share their Mom for the day. They were fine with that. We ascended several flights. The auditorium wasn’t large but it was big enough. It was colorfully decorated with hand-made flags strung across the ceiling. The children sang to recorded music as they waited for each class to arrive and be seated. The girls on either side of me snuggled close.
The curtains opened. There in the middle of the stage was one of the oldest men I had seen yet in Slavyansk. He looked to me to be about 70 if not more. He was slender with long, shoulder-length hair. He became animated talking and joking with the kids. There were several things on stage all intended to be used for magic tricks. I recognized some of his magic tricks as stuff my brothers did in Boy Scouts but there was one thing he did that was amazing to me. He balanced himself on his head. First on a single hand moving his legs in the air like a true gymnast, then sticking his head in a padded cup, he did the same without hands. The kids were thrilled and entertained the entire 40 minutes. What a great gift.

The teacher said we could keep the girls until 8 this evening. It’s hard to feed the girls with access to just the hotel room. Sasha and Rolan were sent to the market. Ukraine has some great cup-a-soups, cheese, butter. We will have to be careful not to try and feed them real meals here. Rolan and I aren’t eating that well. They will probably get better meals at the internot but one evening won’t hurt them.

Nastia asked me if she could take a shower. After a few minutes I went in to see if she needed help and discovered she was washing plastic cups and plates. Okay. In her hand I noticed some paper but she was trying to hide it from me. It was toilet paper. She had rolled it off the existing roll. “Please,” Nastia said. I got down on her level and told her she didn’t need to be afraid to ask me for the things she needs. The brief glimpse I got of the orphanage bathroom made me wonder where the girls get paper. This was another moment I had to hide my tear filled eyes.
We’ll put toilet paper on the shopping list.

(Rolan)
It is heartbreaking to see the little kids at the internot. One girl whom I have played with before, Dasha I think, grabbed my hand as we walked through the halls. I squeezed her hand, she squeezed mine. She sat by me during the circus. A small boy sat on my other side. During the circus, I made sure I touched them, and let them know they are loveable. Some of the older kids become sarcastic, unpleasant, teens. But other older kids are just like the younger ones. They badly want a family, and they would work very hard to fit in. Of course, this call goes out to others who care as much as we do. But if you can possibly do it, rescue some children. Make a difference to a few.

Day 19

2009-02-05T12:45:00.000-08:00

A Voice in the Wilderness

Olga called. The SDA rejected a paper and we would need to do it over again. When the girls signed their release forms, the social worker, not the orphanage director was to sign it too. We would go to the social worker and have Sasha and Nastia write a new one. The social worker would sign it, stamp it. And then we would give it to Tanya who would take it to the train station. The papers would take the evening train to Kiev and all would be well.

Full blown head cold. Taking drastic defensive action.

Other than that, I’m kind of enjoying this whole Ukrainian experience.
It’s like camping. Only we have a working bathroom and satellite internet. Okay, no stove (that would be awesome) and the natives don’t speak our language. But NOW . . .ta da! We asked clerk Svetlana this eve how to use the satellite TV. She came in and did some button pushing. We now have BBC! The first news of America we’ve had in almost three weeks is the Steelers win the Super Bowl. I could have lived without that knowledge but, hey I’ll take it.

We hope to buy new coats for the girls tomorrow. Tanya can wait till we get stateside but we will have to buy coats for Sasha and Nastia before we leave anyway. We can’t take the orphanage coats. Nastia has been wearing nothing more than oversized, lined raincoats. The child has zero body fat so every time we go out, she freezes. Because she’s so small, she’s at the lowest end of the sizes for her orphanage. All the very little kids are at another orphanage. It’s been around freezing here the entire time. My down has been perfect. Hope we can find something good and warm.

Little self discoveries: “There is always room to grow.”
• One discovers how long one can really wear a shirt before it needs washing.
• When you’re wearing long johns, you can’t feel yesterday’s sock that got stuck in your pant leg and is now creating a lump by your calf, apparent to everyone but you.
• You become snippier than usual when the bus takes you past your stop for the third time that evening.
• You will go to amazing lengths to get said bus to stop. Knocking on the window, yelling “Stop pajolsta!”
• A little girl who has just returned from the beauty parlor with a head full of curls draws a great deal of attention!
• Miming a chicken is funny no matter what country you’re in.
• Pringles taste good when you are snack deprived.
• When you have to purchase all your drinking water, it goes fast.

Day 18

2009-02-04T02:02:00.000-08:00

Beauties and the Beast

Bilinnis (crepes) for breakfast.

Found out we are not at the mercy of the whim of the cook but could actually request pancakes, eggs, oatmeal, or breadcrumb concoction.

Getting Nastia’s cold. Throat feels ‘fuzzy.’ Glad I brought drugs and tissues.

After breakfast, we wanted to pay for several nights of hotel stay. Let’s take that new visa out for a test drive. The clerk swiped the card. Several times. Canceled transaction several times. Called someone. Ran the card once for each day. It took a good bit of time but our persistence paid off. You must be firm with these young cards.

Off to the notary! Olga told us yesterday that this notary needed to be convinced to take our case. She didn’t want to mess with the extra paperwork international adoptions require. At times I noticed she looked unsure of what she was doing. That done, we took a cab back to the hotel. Olga needed to stop at the girls’ school, Tanya’s trade school, then somewhere else. We could just veg at the hotel.

We had lunch and I napped. Then we attempted doing some laundry in the little sink in the bathroom. We decided that we’ll have to send out to have pants and shirts done, too big for our ‘washer.’ The bungees, clothes pins and universal sink stopper are finally getting a workout. I washed a few things in the sink and then handed them to Rolan to rinse in the shower. It’s kind of hard to get all the soap out. We’ll see.

Went up to get the girls at 2 but it’s an awkward time. Everyone is moving around. Nastia was still messing around at school and Sasha was in line for snack time. Kids turn and look and say, “Good morning,” even if its afternoon, or “Hello.” It must be nice to finally use the English you are learning in class.

Whisked our girls away. The sun is out. It’s not so cold. We will meet Tanya at the inevitable pizza place and then catch a cab for the hair dresser. I had my ever tasty Greek salad. The girls had desserts. Chomping at the bit, we left early.

I’m sure we are experiencing the girl’s first professional cut.
There was one hairdresser on duty. Tanya was first. The hair cutter took half an hour. She gave Tanya quite the jazzy do. Then Sasha, who just wanted a little cleaning up of the bangs and ends. By then Anya had arrived. Curls were requested. At first I thought Sasha wanted a perm. No, no, just a curling iron. Oh, sure! Then my turn. The beautician was very gentle with my fine hair. She took her time to do a good job. She blow dried it somewhat straight. A funny contrast to Sasha’s head of curls. I started to worry about the price. All of us took the hairdresser 2 hours but it only cost a total of $20! “I’m moving to Ukraine!” I told Anya.

Olga called. She was on her way back to Kiev. She wanted to let us know, the judge set a date. Wednesday the 11th at 2pm! Finally. Ro was bummed. He wanted Monday. After the court date there is a 10 day waiting period to allow long lost relatives one final opportunity to step forward and claim their young relatives. Because our court date is on Wednesday, we add an additional day or two because the end of the 10 day wait falls on a weekend. It delays the process a little bit but it isn’t a disaster. The waiting continues with a concrete goal.

Very cold this evening.

Hotel had power outages in the morning. Work is being done on the entrance, which is in the back, for tourist season. Rustic wood handrails. Due to the weather, the front tiled brick area is a sheet of ice. There must not be lawsuits for this kind of thing. Yet.

We saw another devastatingly cute little girl at the orphanage. Maybe 6 years old. Exactly the kind of child that got us into this story.

Day 17

2009-02-04T01:59:00.000-08:00

Boar’s Head

We ate breakfast under a boar’s head. A big stuffed and mounted one. I had no idea they were so big! I can see why they can be frightening, those boars. I would hate to encounter one in the wild.

I can’t tell you what we had for breakfast. Not because of the big head but because it was an odd mixture of stuff. I’m open to trying anything, really. This was bread crumbs, cheese, maybe mayo, then baked. They love breadcrumbs or cubes and mayo. I don’t know why everyone doesn’t die of heart attacks out here. Come to think of it, we don’t see many very old people.

Anyway, after school, we headed up to get the girls, and then headed for town. I’ve promised a few appreciative people that I would make them scarves. They make great ‘thank you’ gifts here where everybody wears one. I’m in crochet-ers heaven. I just wish I could find better quality yarn. The girls are still ‘Mama look!”-ing in hopes that I’ll cave in and buy them something. They don’t have a good understanding of what is necessity and what can be lived without for the time being. Belt (when pants aren’t threatening to expose ones backside), coin purse, and earrings aren’t necessities. But then again isn’t it difficult for all of us to determine the difference between necessity and luxury?
“America,” I respond, thinking our clothing budget will surely be blown the first week we return. Now I have three girls who think we have unlimited resources! I’ll have to come up with a plan. Good consignment stores and hand me downs for sure! Oh, by the way, Nastia is still a size 6, Sasha is a size 8 or 10 (both will work) and Tanya is probably a 12 (I’m a little shy to reveal her bust size over the airwaves. Send me an e-mail if you need specifics).

Moved in the direction of our pizza place. Found right in the center of the center square, our very own Tanya and Olga!

“Fancy meeting you here!” I said to Olga.

“Huh?” Olga replied. This comes of not speaking English all weekend.

Pizza place. The usual stuffing of the children. Salads, soups, baked chicken thing, dessert. Some people whose names shall go unmentioned couldn’t finish all they ordered. New rule: 3 dish limit for each costumer. Olga ducked out to speak with the social worker whose office was just across the street. There was a request from the floor for a haircut. Another girl looked like she could use a little trim as well. The third (that would be Nastia) won’t need a haircut for a long time (see photos). I recalled Jim taking Ashley to a hairdresser in Kiev. I remembered the price was fairly reasonable. What a great girl activity! I could use a little attention myself.

Through Olga, I told Tanya to find a hairdo person and make an appointment.

Olga was hoping to fly back to Kiev this evening but she had a few more things to finish. We need to visit a reluctant notary. Then hopefully get our court date!

Working our way back to our hotel, we stopped and picked up water, goodies, etc. Tanya said good evening and headed toward her apartment. Olga hailed a cab. This was the worst one yet. Not only was it small for our 5 people but we found a tiny fiat with a big driver. I was glad our ride would only be a few minutes and this fellow wasted no time getting out of there.

Rolan took the girls home to the internot while I visited with Olga. She brought out a bottle of something she bought at the market. It had pictures of lemons on the outside.

“This is our lemonade. Want to taste?”

I hate really sweet drinks but it looked interesting.

“Yeah.”

She poured a generous amount into a glass. It looked like Nestea with too much yellow. Almost like beer. I took a taste.

Have you ever had one of those candies called ‘Circus Peanuts’ that is orange marshmallow in the shape of a large peanut?

Blech.

When we met Olga in the square, we asked about our new credit cards. Yes! She had them. Hand delivered from the USA. When Rolan got back from the internot he tried to activate the thing.

“To activate, call from your home phone.” Infuriating.

Ro managed to get a hold of Ransom, who is staying at our home, by instant messaging. He had Ransom call the automated number. The automated man at the other end bought the ruse. Card activated.

We got locked in our hotel room. Operating the lock inside would not always open the door. It took several attempts. When our breakfast was announced, the (clerk?) had to go get a key, to unlock it for us. I think I figured out the trick to unlocking, but next day, we were given a new key. The lock was changed.

Day 16

2009-02-02T11:57:00.000-08:00

A Snowy Day

A relaxing morning hanging around the ol’ ‘Hotel Europe’, working and reading and doing a little crochet.

Tanya sounded reluctant to join us today but came to the hotel when Rolan went to get the girls at 1 this afternoon.

He entered the cafeteria at the orphanage were there were some 40 kids eating soup with potatoes and dipping bread into it. For some unknown reason, Rolan’s presence emits peals of laughter from the kids. When I’m there, I just notice laughter from the adolescent boys. Fedya was the chosen diplomat instructed to step up and approach Rolan with a question but Rolan didn’t understand.

We played at the hotel all afternoon. I got out the viewfinder so Tanya could see America, then Rolan put on some music for the girls to dance to. It snowed. The girls laughed. Nastia wanted a shower then lounged in a sweater and towel skirt. We snacked on Quaker instant oatmeal, braided and smoked mozarella, tea, and chocolate covered peanuts. The girls begged for a stuffed animal out of the sack Adie and Catherine gave (Thanks girls!). Tanya chose a stuffed bear wearing a ‘Steamboat’ sweater. Nastia fell in love with a sleeping lion cub. I can’t recall what Sasha ended up with. She changes her mind. We played with some puzzles that were quite difficult. I was impressed with Nastia’s persistence. They love playing with the nesting dolls I bought in Kiev. One large one holds wooden Christmas ornaments. “Krasivi!” (beautiful) Tanya said. “Vow!” Nastia said. Another nesting doll has 4 sisters inside, each getting smaller. The best one is a chicken that opens to even smaller chickens. We didn’t bring any computer games but there is an artists pad (paint) already in the computer. They were good about taking turns, but Tanya pounds the keys pretty hard.

We took the two younger ones back home at about 5pm. We had invited English teacher and local gal, Anya, to come for a little dinner at the restaurant here so we could talk to Tanya and find out how she is doing.

The restaurant was dark but they assured us they were open for business. Lights came on. Ro and I ordered the Beef Stroganoff with Cesar salad. Let me just say that the salad was not green.

Day 15

2009-02-01T00:04:00.000-08:00

Things have slowed way down. There's not much to write about now. We are getting into the routine of living while we wait for documents and court dates. Get up in the morning, see what's made for breakfast, sit down and try to work. Around 1pm, go to the internot (orphanage, not to be confused with internet). Sit there for a while, play cards with Sasha and Nastiya, get tired of sitting in the internot, go to the pizza place, eat some food. Eventually, back to the hotel to see a movie, snack like crazy, then take the girls back to the internot.

Tanya is starting to get bored. Oh yeah, what is entertaining for young kids is not going to be entertaining for a 17 year old, duh. I would like to find some way to make this Ukrainian waiting-to-be-adopted time special for her too. There must be something to do that's fun other than shop. Will have to ask about ice skating, bowling or other things kids do to keep from resorting to alchohol. We badly need to communicate with Tanya. Fortunately, she is eager to learn English. She is picking up words daily. I think Igor must be helping her. Sasha and Nastiya do ok communicating, since they had 10 weeks with us. I hear words from them I didn't know they knew. Good ones I mean. We sort of have our own English-Russian mix language. They know the words I know and use them. Tanya is catching on. I know I've been mispronouncing some of the words but the girls use them my way anyway.

Tanya left us today after the pizza. She didn't want to come and watch "Mary Poppins," go figure.

Sasha and Nastiya both washed their hair at the hotel room. They get a shower maybe weekly. We watched less than an hour of Mary Poppins, then the computer froze. We took the girls back to the internot, then stopped at our local little store to buy eggs, but there were none. Wrong kind of store, I guess.

Eileen bought a hot pot. We got it at a second hand store. The clerk demonstrated the pot. She filled it with water, plugged it in, waited for the water to boil, and the pot shut itself off. Then Eileen had to sign a slip of paper. We think the paper must have said something like, "I watched this product work, so I can't say it was defective when I got it home."

On the way to the internot, we got on the same trolley that Tanya had taken. We practically walked into her arms while boarding. I did not have small change, so it took a long time to get change for my 10 grivna. The trolley ride to the internot is only a mile or so. In fact, the doors to the trolley closed on me before I could get change. I think the change lady had the trolley stop within 20 yards of the intended stop, and I got off. I made quite a spectacle. Tanya and Eileen were waiting for me on the curb and laughing. Later, we caught the trolley with the same change lady. She recognized me, chuckled, and got me my change very quickly!

Now it's just going to be life in a hotel room.

It's been snowing the last 24 hours. The streets and sidewalks were becoming free of ice and snow. Now we have 6 inches of snow, with more falling.

Day 14

2009-01-31T12:02:00.000-08:00

Hold Breath. Okay, exhale.

Rest day. Olga was at the paperwork early. She was hoping to see the judge today to get our court day set. She needs to return to Kiev for classes she is taking on the weekends.

Rolan and I slept in. Tanya had more doctors to see. I munched on our provision stash of bread, hard boiled eggs, cheese and an orange. A European continental breakfast. At 10:30, Olga returned with Tanya in tow. She said the other hotel called. Our room is ready. She took Tanya and went out for more paperwork. Hi Tanya! Bye Tanya! We packed. Per Olga’s instructions, the clerk called us a taxi. Our driver Igor, made the mistake of using his only English phrase on us. “Where do you live?” he asked Rolan, then he could neither understand nor speak another work of English. The attempt however, was charming.

Settled into our new old digs, we connected with Olga and discovered she was with Tanya at . . . guess where? The pizza place! Yes, we could come. Trolley to town. Tanya had already ordered and downed a bowl of borshch and was ready to have another. I was ready for something other than pizza. I ordered a baked chicken and veggie thing and a Coke Light. Hey, the Coke here is fabulous. They use beet sugar so there is no gritty teeth feeling or yucky aftertaste.

Olga was still trying to reach the judge. Lots of conversation. Time goes quickly. Almost time for school to get out. Our chance to visit the girls.
Tanya is chatting away to Olga. What is she talking about? Olga says she is just talking. Then she says Tanya is “kind of wild.”

“Wild?”

Like, drinkin’-smokin’-piercin’-tatooin’ “wild”?

She sure didn’t strike me that way. No time to ask for clarification. Olga gets a call from the judge. Can’t see Olga today, judge says, but must wait till Monday. This is kind of a bummer because that means Olga will need to take the train back here on Sunday night just for that meeting and then take the train back to Kiev Monday evening as her work here will be finished until our court day. The court date won’t be till the following week. We won’t need her between times. Bummer for Olga but good for us because we are getting a new credit card hand delivered from missionary friends of Becky’s who are flying into Kiev this weekend. We had the bank mail it to them in the states before they left. They can get it to Olga Sunday eve and Olga will bring it with her when she comes on the night train. See what a small world this really is? (Actually, more like Gods Grace!)

Lunch over, Tanya, Rolan and I padded around the mini-mall for a bit to replace a broken shoe lace, get some more yarn and see if we could find a cheap hot pot. It would be good to have hot water at our disposal for tea, soup and other instant meals. Could ask the clerk but it gets old.

Bid Tanya farewell and headed again for the orphanage for our daily visit. I’m actually sorry we don’t get swarmed with kids when we come. Sasha hunts us down and takes us to a special room where we get a fairly private visit. Sometimes 2 or 3 others join or are enticed to join us by the offer of candy. “Come on, it’s okay.” We share our ‘koo pah choops’ (lollipops) or whatever other candy we brought. They sit close craving affection. Yes, it is that heartbreaking.

This orphanage, for some reason, hasn’t seen many foreign adoptions. We sent Sasha and Nastia home this summer with thick photo albums. Nikolai, the director, shared them with all the adult workers there. Everyone knows us! In some orphanages, you can’t take the kids off the orphanage grounds but they haven’t had problems with us doing that here. It’s nice to get the girls away from the orphanage and take them out for pizza or allow them to shower here at the hotel or just go to a market for some cheese and apples.

There is a little convenience store between the orphanage and the trolley we catch to get back to the hotel. We have gotten into the habit of stopping in to get some more cheese, water or whatever. The young clerk behind the counter likes to tease Rolan and is patient (and no doubt slightly amused) with our attempts at communication. She picked out an excellent salami for us. Most are primarily fat globs with a little meat mixed in. Not this one.

Not mastered public transport yet. You can stand at a stop for a few minutes and busses, mini-busses and trolleys stop by. The price seemed to be the only difference to us. Nope. Hopped on a little bus that costs a bit more and zoomed right past our hotel! Had to take a trolley to get back to the hotel. Olga had been studying there all afternoon and clarified the problem. The little busses cost more because you can tell them were to stop. Ah.

Okay, now for the big question.

Ahem.

“Okay Olga,” I said. “”What did you mean when you said ‘Tanya is wild’?”

She chuckled in her Olga way and said that Tanya sometimes tells too much about herself or jokes too much at the wrong time.

“Oh.” The color returned to my face.

Dinner at the hotel restaurant. Nice atmosphere. Very slow service. Salmon was undercooked. We were seated in a ‘no smoking’ area. Karaoke but we could have a conversation without shouting. They were out of fresh veggies. The red wine from Georgia was fabulous. You win some, you lose some.

Day 13

2009-01-31T11:58:00.000-08:00

Back in Slavyansk

Our new motel ‘Cesar’ is located a few miles from the city center. It’s in a lovely area near a park and a small lake. The road goes by a small gold domed orthodox church. Picturesque. There’s a bit of a view that allows us to see houses on a shallow hill some miles away. It’s nice. Cheaper. But too far from the orphanage. We were told our old hotel, ‘Hotel Europe,’ would be available Friday noon.

Morning came too soon. Olga (our faithful facilitator) wanted us up early to start the paper chase. We half-consciously loaded into a tiny little taxi and headed to the town center, “Lenin Square,” where the large municipal building was located. The county social worker was on the third floor. Olga told us we didn’t have to go up but could wait downstairs. A kindly security guard pointed to some chairs to keep us from loitering on the otherwise very busy premises. The building was cold. Rolan closed his eyes. I got out my dictionary in an attempt to entertain myself and use the time wisely.

Forty minutes later the necessary documents were in hand and we were off in search of some breakfast. The beloved pizza place was calling our name. Not only do they serve pizza, but breakfast crepes (called bilinis) filled with fruit of choice, a variety of salads (Ukraine has something going here, America!) baked hot dishes, and the required two varieties of borshch. They have some desserts too. It wasn’t until we had been several times that I realized there was no smoking allowed. (Not that I was smoking or anything). Now, you must realize that almost every American family that goes to Ukraine ends up frequenting a particular restaurant of their choice in the city where they are staying. You eat out often when you live in a hotel. It’s work to decipher the menu so you learn to say particular words and end up sticking with that. We like this restaurant so much that we even got a discount card!

Breakfast finished, Olga bid us farewell and went to find out how Tanya’s required medical exams were doing and to push along the paperwork. We decided to catch a bus to say hello to Sasha and Nastia and tell them we were back. Gentle Readers, you have met some genuinely public transportation-ally challenged people. The city center is in the middle of town (goes without saying) our new motel was east of city center and the orphanage is west and north a bit. You would think well educated, reasonably sensible people as Rolan and myself could get on a bus that would take us in the right direction or sort of. No. We got on the bus and after a few minutes could not recognize any of our surroundings. I finally noticed the lake and then the church and I couldn’t believe how we allowed ourselves to get that turned around. We decided to return to the hotel and do some work and then try again to visit the girls in the afternoon. I napped. Rolan worked.

After lunch we made a second attempt at getting to the orphanage. We walked back to the bus stop, caught the bus back to town and retraced our steps to the center square. With the sun out, it was easier to determine the proper direction and soon discovered the offensive street that tricked us. It curved. Ah. We were off by a block. So near and yet so far.

We played cards with the kids. Anya and Tanya came in and I begged Tanya to join us. Crazy Eights. I was amazed at Sasha’s English. Anya has already started her English lessons with them. We decided to all go for pizza! Trolley into town. Food is cheap here. We can get a medium pizza (multiple toppings), drinks, salads, a bowl or two of borshch and maybe dessert for 5 for about $20-$25. Sasha can really pack it away. They are so pleased to get unlimited food. I’m afraid they will order too much and waste it. They know one of mom’s favorite sayings is, “Nyet musor etta.” Don’t throw away food. So far they have been good about that.

Day 12

2009-01-29T23:35:00.000-08:00

Difficulties of the nomadic lifestyle.

We slept in. A leisurely day at Eunice’s. We needed to do just a little shopping and pack for the hopeful departure to Slavyansk once we got our referral in the late afternoon. I boiled some eggs and went though some of our emergency provisions to make sure nothing old or spoiled was being dragged needlessly around the country. Take stock. Restock.

Eunice (queen of hostesses) helped us do two loads of laundry, while praying it would all be dry in time to pack. She lent me a pair of socks while I washed the only (oops) pair I brought from Slavyansk. Then the four ladies of the house (Ashley, the fifth lady, was with Papa Jim), went shopping for groceries and some unmentionables for my new teenage daughter. Eunice, good friend and native Luba, Tanya and I stuffed ourselves into a small shop and started helping Tanya who was sequestered behind a curtain. It is a very good thing to have someone along who can communicate in the native tongue, especially during these moments when one must purchase supportive undergarments for one who isn’t savvy in these matters. “What size do you wear?” Luba asked. “Normal size,” Tanya said. We quickly found what we needed at a reasonable price and entered the supermarket in the same complex.

Supermarkets are a kick. I’m sure I could spend hours ohhing and ahhhing over every can and jar. Not to mention the baked goods and chocolate! I don’t take the instruction I receive lightly. If you don’t get the right colored water bottle top, for example, you could end up with seltzer water. Or mustard with horseradish. The markets have quite a good selection, really. I was surprised to see BBQ sauce!

Tanya continues to be grateful for our care for her. I think my biggest heartache now is the lack of communication. She has the most delightful giggle. She loves to chat with those who can understand and I know she as is curious about us as we are about her but we continue to be somewhat removed because of the language barrier. It’s hard to have a heart to heart conversation with an interpreter in the middle. I’m praying for further bonding opportunities in spite of the language wall.

Provisions secured, everything packed (even wet clothes), we hailed a taxi for town and the SDA. We had been riding to and from Eunice’s underground so it was good to see what was on the surface. We arrived at the SDA much earlier than we thought so I sat on the couch in the hall while Rolan and Tanya went in search of money changers and souvenirs. They were back soon enough, successful in their perspective hunts. Tanya attracted attention. I’m sure 17 year old adoptees are unusual. Other facilitators (of adoptions) and the security guard on duty were asking her questions. Olga arrived and we went in for our precious referral. The worker met with us, delivered the goods, and then asked to see Tanya. She asked Tanya, “You really want to leave Ukraine?” Then the worker told her other older teens haven’t been so happy to leave and want to come back to Ukraine. Our Tanya is sure of her decision.

Referral in hand, we dashed to the train station. Things got ugly after that. It got messy. It got downright lugubrious (so awful, it is funny). Bear in mind that for the necessary paperwork, Tanya must get the approval of the trade school psychologist, who is there only on Thursdays. If we didn’t get Tanya back by morning, then we would have to wait a week to move forward. We asked to buy tickets. Only room for 2, and only in first class. Okay, Olga and Tanya can go. Rolan and I can bunk in Kiev and come tomorrow night. Checked back with clerk. Now only one bed available on the whole train. First class. It went that quickly. No room on the Thursday night train to Slavyansk. Ro and I would have to wait until Friday. Note to adopters going to Donestk: Tickets are hard to buy at the last minute. Be prepared to take the gamble and buy train tickets early, or fly.

Yes, we did. Another painful expense but after doing all the calculating, we knew this was the best option. When we got to the airport, however, things looked like pea soup. The fog here is really nasty. How could we fly in this? Thank goodness, the blessing of technology and our good Father got us into the air and safely to Donestk. Olga had another problem. Our hotel in Slavyansk was full! Ugh. However, in the spirit of our hotel that tries hard to take care of us, they said they would find us a room in the city somewhere. Our facilitator told us there were only 2 hotels in the city. Is there a third? Yes, the ‘Cesar.’ We could get paid for this kind of stuff. Write a tour book. It’s an hour and a half drive from Donestk to Slavyansk by cab. The three of us in the back seat started sawing wood. (Ro said he was awake but didn’t look like it to me). We arrived at our new hotel at midnight with the usual help needed from locals to steer us in the right direction. This hotel is quite east of the rest of the city and we hadn’t seen this part before. It has a pretty good view of much of Slavyansk. More in the morning.

Day 11

2009-01-27T11:16:00.000-08:00

The night at Eunice's was great. Very comfortable bed. No heat during the night, so the climate was awesome. I woke up at 3am, and could not go back to sleep, because I was thinking about what I could have done to stop the pickpocket. Nothing.

We took a very eager Tanya shopping. Luba, who spent the night at Eunice's,a native English speaking Ukrianian, went with us. We bought a pair of boots, a pair of jeans, a sweater, and a purse that zips up. Tanya is floating on air. She gave us each a kiss of thanks.

We went back to Eunice's. After lunch, Jim wanted to take Josh and Ashley ice skating. Ashley did not want to go, but Tanya did. So Eileen and I walked with them to the rink. At this point, we had to rush to get to the SDA. We walked 30 minutes to get to the metro station, 20 minutes to get to our stop, and 20 minutes to get through the mall and up to the SDA. 3:03. 8 minutes later than we wanted. We waited for 20 minutes, got in to see our case worker. We were officially read the report on Tanya, and asked if we wanted her. Da. I showed the case worker a picture of Tanya, and she smiled and smiled. Olga and Sasha dropped us off at a metro station we had not yet attempted. The escalators down were in their own building. Very classy. Uneventful trip backto Eunice's. Turns out, Tanya is a quick learner on ice. Jim couldn't believe she had never been on ice before. Sounds like she played soccer with a traveling team. I'd love to see her play in the states. It would be good for her.

We found out this evening that Jim's passports had arrived on the train from Kherson. He gets to go home. Finally. In a few weeks, we will see them at home in good old Colorado.

Day 10

2009-01-27T11:15:00.000-08:00

The train ride last night was cool. First, Anya joined us at the Chinook. Tanya and boyfriend Igor came, and we had ice cream to celebrate Tanya's name day. We caught a taxi from Chinook to the train station. Igor came and helped carry luggage. We got to the station quite early (because Tanya was so excited she was afraid to miss the train), and waited for the train in the fog. It looked just like a 1940's movie. Tanya helped find the "vagon", helped find our compartment, handed over the tickets, set up the beds, fluffed the pillows. Investigated the latches and hooks and figured out the ladder that goes up to the top bunk. Eileen crashed quickly, and I tried to find music that Tanya would recognize: Enigma, No Doubt, etc. About midnight she crashed. Me too. The beds were narrow, and had wool blankets. Quite comfortable for what they were. About 8, I woke up. I stretched and looked out the window. Grey, grey, fog, snow, dead black trees. Not much to see. There was not question that it was warm, beyond comfort just as we had been warned. Tanya said she felt a little sick. I gave her some 'dramamine' to settle her. I knew it would make her eagerly awaited day in Kiev fuzzy but not fun to be nauseous. She was quiet.

Tanya had put away all the bedding. Don't the train stewards do that? I got some tea for me and Eileen. After that, I think Tanya thinks I always drink tea. I just wanted some water. The train arrived in Kiev at 10:40, with the last 40 minutes in Kiev. We jumped off the train and went through the building. Which of course was wrong. Olga was looking for us, because we needed to go the other way to the modern part of the train station. Some fun modern art: glass sculpture shaped like bamboo, with bubbles floating to the top, and green plants growing at the top.

Our first stop was the notary. This was amazing. It was just like the cartoon, where Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd are opening and shutting doors in a hall while chasing each other. Here, it was stylish women wearing high heeled boots, out one door with a piece of paper, in through another door, out without the paper, in a third door. Repeat. Repeat with several paper carriers at once. Tanya stayed in the car. After the paper was drawn up by the notary, Olga took the paper to the typist. After a long wait, she came back down to the notary's office. Another wait, and Eileen and I can go in, and sign documents. Sign papers, sign the notary book.

The next stop was another cafe. I managed to get a good deal on an exchange rate before we went in. Lots of food. We tried a lot of things, some were ok, some were not. Tired of writing about food.

We went to the SDA. I don't remember going to any meeting, just more waiting. We walked out of the office, then Olga went back in. I played with the ice, doing some engineering work, making melting ice flow better. Then Sasha drove us to Independence square, and Sasha and Olga took off.

We walked through the underground mall, down to the metro, and got lost. I thought for sure we were supposed to be on the green line, only the names on the line looked wrong. When I bought subway tokens, I tried to get a subway map, but instead got a Kiev map. I called Olga and asked for help to get to the green line. We were to go one stop and get off. As we got on, a crowd of dudes in black crowded around me, and pushed in really tight. It felt like someone was messing with my computer bag, so I moved it around to my front. As we got close to our exit, the guy in front of me held up a newspaper in my face, like he was reading it. Then the train stopped, the door had troubles opening, someone pounded on the door, and I was shoved out. I found out later that I lost 2 flash drives and my wallet during that little trip. Ouch ouch ouch.

More help from Olga. It seemed like we were at the right place, but no, the names looked wrong. So I called Eunice, and found out that the she lives on the red line, not the green line. OK, up and down a couple of escalators, and now the maps look OK. Up to this point, Tanya has been distressed. (Me too a little.) This is the big city, She's just a little ol' city girl from Slovyansk. She had just rode her first train (and got a little motion sick). She had just rode her first escalator. She had just rode her first subway. And now she thought we were lost under the city. Now that we were finally moving, I think she settled down, although maybe more motion sickness. We came up at the correct stop, and called Eunice for directions. She had sore feet from walking so long in her heeled boots. Walk a few blocks, and call me back. We walked and called back. Walk a few more blocks, and the house should be recognizable. We walked, and sure enough, there was the house. We came in and had dinner, called and canceled our visa and crashed. We love Eunice. She gave us her bed, fed us shredded beef and a hot shower.

OK. Until now, this has all felt like the writings of a reporter. Very cut and dried, no emotions. I have been trying to say the Lord's prayer every night or morning, and really thinking about the lines. After all, this is the prayer Jesus gave his disciples when they asked him how they should pray. I start the prayer, and I get to the part, "Forgive me my trespasses, just as I forgive those who trespass against me." And it strikes me that I need to forgive those guys who took my wallet in exactly the same way that I want God to forgive me when I do what I know is not pleasing to God. I've been concerned this whole trip about our expenses, since many fees are yet to be determined. Working on forgiveness gives me a different way to think about this event.

Day 9

2009-01-27T11:14:00.000-08:00

Sleep is getting easier. I slept without ear plugs. We were able to open the bedroom window, so the temperature is bearable.

The morning schedule got compressed. We were supposed to have breakfast at 9, meet Tanya at 10 at the internot, go to church, come back, check out of the hotel, and go back to the internot. Instead, we had to be at the internot at 9:30, and we had to check out before that, since church was supposed to be an all day event. So again, we quickly packed some things for our 2 or 3 or 4 day trip to Kiev. As we finished packing, the laundry came back. Hooray for clean clothes. We got everything we needed into one duffel and two backpacks. We wolfed down our breakfast (bilini, rolled crepes). We stored the luggage at the front desk of the hotel. The poor clerk was expecting a couple of bags, she got 4 large pieces. They got stored in the bathroom of the office. We caught the trolley to the internot. Nastiya was not yet dressed, but that did not take long.

The taxi we took was a larger variety, like a mini van with seating for 8. We needed a vehicle this large, because our local translator Anya and her sister were coming with us. Anya is the daughter of the director of the trade school. We headed out of town, going up hill. There are mountains near by. Not huge, but big. Many pines. Some of the roads had signs saying 10% grade. And the roads were covered with snow and ice. 45 minutes later, we arrived at a monastary complex. The monastary is one that the girls have been to before. We had seen pictures of it on Google Earth, and it is east of Slovyansk. We snapped a lot of pictures, and walked around in a lot of cold wind.

Back in the taxi to the top of the mountain, to see a war memorial. It was a statue of a big hero of Ukraine, done in cubist style. Back in the taxi to Slovyansk. We tried to eat lunch at a cafe where Tanya does practice cooking for her trade school, but it was closed, so we ended up at the pizza place. Trolley back to the internot.

It is hard to be at the internot. Many kids are coughing. Drug resistant TB is spreading through this country. Also, on Sunday at least, most of the kids are completely bored. Some are in rooms with music turned up very loud, the kids are just lying on the floor. Other rooms with TVs also have the volume up all the way. Bigger kids, 16 years old, slam open the doors to the common rooms, look around to see what's going on and who is in the room, the leave by slamming the doors. We sat with Sasha and Nastiya and watched some movies. Sasha is not a TV watcher. She fell asleep sitting next to me. Vika and her new parents came in. Vika now had a camera, so she took several pictures, which was fun for the TV watchers since the room was quite dark. At 5, it was time for dinner. I had some candy out, which I slipped to a couple of girls before they left. Earlier, I had given candy to a couple of boys, one named Fedya. He seems very bright, kind of quiet, very much in need of attention. I wish I could do a lot for these kids, but they need so much.

(Eileen)
The monestary was very beatiful. The main chapel is the pride and joy of the region. There wasn't a church service. People walked in, took a very skinny taper, lit it, and placed it in a skinny brass candlestand. There were people waiting in line to enter some sort of wooden shrine. This building had the biggest brass chandelier I've ever seen, maybe 10 feet tall. Behind each bulb of the chadelier was a small brass angel. Photos were not allowed inside, so I bought a small picture book. We made our way down to a river that was at the foot of the complex. Some deeply devoted person had carved two 4 foot high ice crosses out of the river ice to commemorate Jesus' baptism day. I think Sasha was a little frightened to stand on the iced over river next to the crosses.

At the monestary, all the women wear head coverings, even Nastiya. I had bought a scarf yesterday for this purpose. Women must also wear dresses or skirts. If you don't do that, you must wear a scarf around your waist over your pants to act as a kind of pretend dress. This was common. My scarf is heavily fringed. It was cold. Nastiya's fingers were cold. She was wearing a different coat from yesterday and far too large. Tanya had requested a hand warmer hottie earlier in the day, so I had the girls pass it around. Want to make friends in Ukraine in the winter? Break open a hottie. You will instantly become everyone's friend. Nancy, was it you who ditched the oatmeal for the hotties? Smart.

For dinner, I think we crashed a wedding party at the Chinook. Usually, the place is almost empty, tonight they seated us at what looked like the last table for two, then pull out another table and set it up for two. There was live music. The movie "Speed Racer" was described by Roger Ebert as having "eye lacerating visuals." The music at the Chinook was unbearably loud. Fortunately I have my trusty ear plugs. I can still feel the bass rattling my chest. This must be a common way to spend evenings. We've been hearing loud music from our hotel restaurant in the evenings. We noticed music stands and sound equipment. Also at the restaurant at the Hotel Ukraine.

The charming part about the music at Chinook is that people dance. It's so good to see people celebrating life. It's more comical to see it here, because the setting is so rustic. There is even a spinning disco ball over the singers. No band. Karaoke style with trained singers.

Tany called 4 times very quickly. We couldn't hear the phone ring. I stepped outside to talk. Were we communicating? Tanya, 8, Chinook, internot, Igor, Da? I think I'm missing home. The routine there is a bit boring, but it IS a routine. Here, everything is different every day. It's tiring, always trying to figure out what's going on, or if we are getting into trouble.

(Eileen)
I think Ro is needing a shot of faith. Felix? Are you praying? It's been pretty chaotic. I konw things will settle in once the 10 day wait kicks in and we aren't clearing new paths every day. It's intense and stressful when you are pushing your comfort zone every day.

(Rolan)
A couple of annoyances. I made a call to Adoption Alliance that used 60 of my 100 Gry on the phone. I need to buy more time. And my razor died. I tried to use it before we went to the monastary, but no response. Almost certainly the thing was turned on while packed and the batteries discharged. I did not bring the charger, because it is brittle plastic and could break easily while packed. I guess now is a good time to try to grow a beard.

Day 8

2009-01-24T22:11:00.000-08:00

(Eileen)
I like our room at ‘The European’ Hotel much better than the ‘Hotel Ukraine’. It seems more in tune with the flavor of the culture rather than just another hotel chain. We are on the floor level with the street (no stairs, Felix). It’s in the back of the hotel in a wing so we have 5 large windows facing east, west and south. It’s always warm in the buildings here in Slavyansk so it’s great to be able to open a window to keep from overheating our poor hides. Something we weren’t able to do in ‘Hotel Ukraine.’

The only drawback, I discovered, is that just in the back of our hotel, across the back drive, is a steam spa. This afternoon, I saw a fellow walking around in just a towel, sort of waving his arms around to cool himself. Eh hem.

We were eating our breakfast-included breakfast in the restaurant part of our hotel. The building is kind of fashioned like a chalet. Very attractive from the street. Wooden on the inside and well lit from skylights. They asked us the day before what time we would like to eat. This morning Svetlana, the hotel hostess, knocked on our door to let us know it was ready. Eggs with a little ham, tomatoes on the side and sliced cucumbers. There was sliced bread, but no butter or jam, and white tea. Lipton, believe it or not, is popular here and good.

We were finishing up and here comes our Tanya! She’s a chatty thing. I love to hear her voice but today, I’m afraid, she realized how few of her words were understood and is speaking less. She was wearing heeled boots (not as foolish as it sounds, the pointy heels help keep you from slipping on the ever-present ice) but we decided anyway to walk the half mile to the orphanage. It’s a nice walk along a tree lined avenue. When we rounded the corner of the gate to the orphanage, there was Sasha who broke into a run with arms outstretched to embrace us. I love it.

We settled on a taxi for transport (now 5 of us mind you, in a Fiat) and took off for the open market. I was looking for a scarf to wear to church tomorrow. Sasha’s boots were too tight and Nastia’s too big. The market was amazing. There were several long rows of booths with not much space for walking between. Shoes, socks of all kinds, men’s slacks, angora sweaters, fur coats, jewelry, jeans, children’s wear, the ever endless selection of hats and a scarf or two. Some of it looked quite expensive. The roofs were of corrugated tin. The temperature had risen. It was difficult to avoid the pools and waterfalls of melting snow.

We found Nastia’s boots first. She fell in love with a red pair. No fur. Good. I’m trying to discourage it on account of the rock throwers in the U.S. I found a beautiful scarf for $7 (thanks Mom! Your Birthday gift is going far). Finally, we exhausted the open market and went into a more enclosed building. Meats. Exposed to the air and everybody. Big slabs of bacon, ham and sausages, smoked chicken quarters. Very crowded. We were quickly on our way through to another building. Just as we were leaving, I saw a little dog standing on his hind legs staring intently at a coil of sausages just out of his reach. The usual Ukrainian dower countenance was replaced with laughter by the crowds around him.

Boots. Sasha. Not having much luck and she was getting discouraged. Finally found a pair to fit. Bright red. A little dyed rabbit fur along the top. DON’T TELL. I live in Boulder, remember? Hopefully people will assume it’s synthetic and we will avoid any nasty confrontations.

With treasures in hand, we grabbed another taxi for “Lenin Square,” our name for it as it has a rather large, imposing statue of said infamous communist. Right next to it, rather ironically, is a gold domed church in the process of full restoration. On the other side of Lenin is a Christmas tree. There is also a small skating rink and a fellow selling pony rides. We walked through the square to the pizza place. Two medium, three topping pizzas and 5 cokes for $10! For dessert, we bought what we thought were ice cream sundaes but were more like strawberry mousse(s). Not too sweet. I’m finding I really like Ukrainian food. It’s not what I was expecting at all. A lot of terrific salads I would love to learn to make. Tanya has been promised a cookbook so I hope she can make Ukrainian food for me. Oh Yeah. But I digress.

We talked names. I thought Tanya would keep her name but she surprised us twice with “Evalina” for a first name (wow, great choice) and “Ann” for a middle name (wow, that’s my middle name)! Sasha has decided on “Sophia Ann.” Is Sophie ok for a nick name? Dah. Tanya thought “Emily” would be a good name for Nastia but I want to see if Nastia can make a decision on her own. Everyone robs her of making her own choices (except in boots). I will, with Tanya’s input, narrow the choices down to three for Nastia.

Sasha has retained an amazing amount of English. She bridged more than a few communication gaps with Tanya. We bought a few Russian music CDs for memory sake and I found some yarn to make Tanya a scarf. Then Tanya said farewell for the day. She lives in town. The remaining 4 of us hopped a taxi for our hotel.

Our sweet little girls are so impressed with everything we take for granted. Our hotel room for example, was amazing to them. Nastia found an air freshener dispenser in the wall in the bathroom. “What’s this?” Fffffshshsh. Sniff. AH!

We decided now is a good time to take the hats to the orphanage. Forty-five hats. Sasha and Nastia made their choice. We packed up the rest and snacks and off we went back to the orphanage on foot.

It was almost cruel really, to go on foot. Nastia loves her shoes so much she doesn’t want them wet or dirty. She found a shoe brush in our room and worked for at least 15 minutes. “What’s this?!” She asked over every tiny defect she found. I finally told her not to worry, the shoes are way down there and our eyes are way up here. The half mile to the orphanage was slush and mud and pools of water. She wanted to stop a couple of times to wipe away the minute accumulation of snow crystals. “Nastia!” I laughed, “they’re boots!”

I’m positive she’ll sleep with them.

We returned the kids to the internot, and went back to the hotel by foot.

Once again, internet connection is problematic. The software could not see the modem. Reboot. Reboot. Unplug, plug. Argh. After 6 tries, it works. Why? Why not? I tried uploading pictures, to see how slow it is. Quite slow. I guess from now on I wait for a better connection.

We tried the laundry service in the morning. I hope it’s a laundry service, and they did not assume we were giving away clothes. At 10 this evening, no clothes yet. I may be riding the train in some interesting garb. We are packing up everything, time to checkout and travel, again.

Day 7

2009-01-23T12:38:00.000-08:00

Sunny day. Hooha! We got up kind of late, Eileen got a long shower, I had to rush. Fortunately, Olga was late as well. We had breakfast in the hotel restaurant, same food as yesterday. Well, we only had choice 1, 2, or 3. Like before, the breakfast was quite large, and I am used to eating little or no breakfast. I must be putting on pounds. We decided to go public transportation, so we walked through some apartment blocks to another street, and looked for a stop for the electric vehicle. (What is this vehicle called? A trolley runs on tracks in the street, this uses overhead wires.) We walked a little further down the street, and found a gathering of people, it looked good. Soon the vehicle came down the street, and we piled on. It was a very short ride to the internot, we could walk to it from here,there were cleared paths, albeit all ice covered., not sure we want to walk 1/2 mile on ice.

At the internot, Tanya had already arrived. She did want to be adopted! She is staying at her boyfriend Igor's house, and Igor's mother counseled her to go. She told Tanya that this is her opportunity. Igor is 5 years older than Tanya. Many things could be said about this, but we are going to think positively. We talked with Tanya and the director for a long time, 90 minutes maybe. We were waiting on more doctor checkups for Sasha and Nastiya, which was happening right then. The director hears that we are looking for the other hotel in town. We wanted to know if we can get a better hotel deal. He knows where that hotel is, so he offers to take us there. OK, off to the other hotel. This hotel is on one of the main drags, there are many here. Slovyansk seems like it was several small towns that all merged, although there is only one central square. The room was smaller, and 60% of the cost of Hotel Ukraine but adequate. We decided to take it.

It was now noon. We went back to Hotel Ukraine to checkout. Checkout was at noon, but if we could be out in 30 minutes, then there would be no charge. Why are we always trying to pack all our scattered stuff in such short notice? With some time to spare, we had all our things in the director's car. Thanks Nickolai! He was gracious to shlep us around during his lunch hour. He drove us back to Hotel Daropa (sp?). I will be so glad when we finally drop off all the stuff we brought for the orphanage. Four bulging suitcases plus packs plus computer plus bottle of wine (we celebrated a little yesterday) plus dirty laundry (won't fit in a suitcase any more) plus other things that won't fit in a suitcase.

Back to the internot. As we crossed the threshhold, Sasha was waiting for us. With tears in her eyes, she jumped up and gave me a big big hug. And she kissed me on the cheek. That is big for Sasha. Then Nastiya came up and hugged me. They also went to Eileen and hugged and kissed her too. We all went into the director's office, and I got to sit with both girls on my lap. Now we had all three girls in the office. There was more discussion. Much laughter. Sasha and Nastiya both wanted to take pictures with my camera. At one point, Sasha and Nastiya signed consent forms, saying they wanted to be adopted. They each had to write a letter and then sign it. Nastiya does not write yet, so she had help.

At this point, the director needed his office for work, so we walked across the courtyard to the dorm. From what we saw, this is just a typical dorm, to hold 270 kids. That's right, in this one internot, there are 270 kids. Oh, man, some of them are so cute, smiling, playful, :( They just should not be here, but instead in a family. Sasha and Nastiya wanted to eat, so they skipped and ran down to the cafeteria. Tanya led us up to the third floor, where there is a play room for about a dozen kids. I think this room is for the kids in Sasha's group. Down some other hallws, we heard loud music. Maybe those rooms were for older kids. In less than 5 minutes, Sasha and Nastiya came in. They must have wolfed their food down, if they ate at all. We broke out some lollipops for the kids. They loved to have their tongues change color. Vika and her new dad were in this room. We got some pictures of them. Vika showed how she could count in Italian. We only spent 30 minutes in this room, then we needed to do some chores, plus we were hungry.

We walked to the restaurant Chinook, where we had eaten last night. Tanya thought this was a very expensive place. I don't think she had eaten there before. The food was again good. Then we caught a taxi to the train station to buy tickets. If we are going to adopt Tanya, we must go to Kiev, and Olga needed to go back to Kiev tonight. We bought all 4 beds in a coupee, the best way to have some privacy. Then Tanya asked if she could go to Kiev, since she has never been. Well, we bought 4 beds, and when we come back to Slovyansk, we will probably do the same since Olga will be with us, so, sure. Tanya is becoming very excited about hanging out with us.

I asked Tanya if she needed to attend school. She told us her director encouraged her to spend time getting to know us better. I thought that was wise. Sasha and Nastia got 10 weeks with us. Its a great idea to give Tanya her time too.

Another taxi, to the internet cafe. Oops, that was not what we wanted. I needed to get a modem so I can do some work. There is not much internet here in Slavyansk. Cell phones are everywhere, though. I spent 1000 Grivney on a little gadget plus some extra time. Now we will see how long 1000 megabytes of data transmission last. Then we looked for a currency exchange, but they all were closed. We walked to our favorite public transport stop, and decided to try the bus. Tanya left us here, since Igor's apartment was close. More hugs and kisses. The electric vehicle was 0,75 Gry, the bus was 1,25 Gry. For short trips, the taxi was 10 Gry. To get on the bus, you quickly form a queue in the street after the bus stops. Olga paid, so I missed that part. The electric vehicle had an old woman that walked around while the vehicle was moving, taking your money, and giving you a little blank piece of paper with a slight rip. People here are more interactive. I (Eileen) was told my coat was dragging on the dirty floor and another woman reminded a young lady that her purse was still open from extracting needed change. Thoughtful gestures.

At the hotel, Olga was kind enough to help me get my internet connection setup. The directions were all in Ukrainian or Russian. I would have been ok, though. It's just technical words. And there were clear pictures. Oh yeah, and I could have figured out how to add time to the SIM. That's just numbers and stuff. After rebooting a couple of times, and removing and attaching the modem a couple of times, and re-inserting the CD a couple of times, the software finally installed. Hooray, we're done. NOT. I tried to connect to amazon and google, and no luck. I tried changing the security settings on the modem. Now the software did not even report a connection. OK, put that back, that made things worse. Now when I tried amazon, everything worked ok. Score! Another victory! Things are moving so fast, I'll take any success that I actively participated in.

At 8pm, Olga left to catch the train to Kiev. Earlier in the evening, loud music began blaring. Uh oh, our cheap hotel may have some drawbacks. Now it's about 10, and the music is still loud. I may be dreaming about Hotel Ukraine. Is it worth $30 a night for quiet? I have my trusty earplugs, hope they can defeat the evil noise/music. Actually, the music seems to be coming from the town square. It must be very loud at the other hotel.

I may be sending pictures a little more slowly from an internet cafe, instead of using up my paid bandwidth. But lots of pictures coming soon.

Spending tomorrow with our new additions sans translator. Tanya is either excited or a talker or both. She badly wants to communicate! We will bring all our translation books.

Day 6

2009-01-22T12:19:00.001-08:00

It was not too hard to get out of bed at 7, since we were going to be doing a lot today. The fridge in our room was like the one in our apartment: it wanted to run more than it wanted to rest. So we unplugged it. In first light, the view from our room has a beautiful smoke stack. We had breakfast with Olga in the hotel restaurant, The Eldorado. The restaurant was dark when we came in, and the server decided we wanted the TV on, loud. Thanks, guy. We haven't been in a restaurant yet that didn't have a TV on and attached to a wall or the ceiling. Even in McDonalds. The meal was good. It was part of our hotel bill, so of course it was. I'm enjoying tring new foods. The french fries were some of the best I've ever had. Olga told me my dish came with a hot dog and, well, that's what it was. It was more compact but tasted much the same as a high quality hot dog (whatever that might be).

We walked down the street to the town square, where there is an imposing statue of Lenin. We went into the official building, up several flights of stairs to the adoption department. Behind a heavy metal door were two women, typing away, answering phones. We sat down on chairs, and proceded to wait for 20 minutes while listening to loud driving techno, some in English ("I am a spitfire"). Which reminds me, it was good to hear No Doubt and George Michael on the radio in the cars, even some techno that my boys had given me ("I feel so far away ... Just go away"). I proceded to sweat buckets. It was warm in the office.

After our wait, we were handed our referral for the orphanage director. The two ladies walked out of the office with us, and locked the big metal door. That office could serve as a solitary confinement cell. Then we walked across the square to where the taxis were waiting. I took this chance to get some more local currency. The rate is quite variable. It started at 8.10, then it dropped to 7.70. Deciding when to exchange currency is like playing the market.

Our new taxi driver drove us to the internot, which is a step up from a true orphanage, in that there is a school here. We were led into the director's office. Both the director and the assistant were very happy to see us, and they knew who we were. The assistant went to get Nastiya. It turns out that Sasha was not around, she has been in the hospital for 2 weeks, something wrong with her kidneys, they say. The director pulled out a book of photos that Nastiya put together before she left. I'm not sure why he had it, maybe in preparation for our visit, maybe to keep it safe for Nastiya. Nastiya walked in, and gave me a big hug. Then she gave Eileen a big hug. Then she sat of Eileen's lap, and we talked for a long time. I finally got her to sit on my lap. All of this was good, because it showed that Nastiya is familiar with us and not afraid. Nastiya's hair was so short, and she had no earrings. She looks so much like a skinny boy.

We got the director to call the hospital, and he said Sasha would be checked out of the hospital tomorrow. So we have to wait to see Sasha. Both of the girls will be given a physical exam, which is one of the documents we need before we can take them. It seems like we heard that Sasha and Nastiya turned down adoption requests from other families. They were waiting for us. Doesn't that tug at your heart strings? The third girl we wanted, Vika, is in the process of being adopted by another family, and they are actuall in the same hotel as us. This couple wanted 3 girls, and they tried to get Sasha and Nastiya. What loyalty from our girls. After a lot of hugging and kissing and tickling, we had to say goodbye to Nastiya, and go see older sister Tanya.

Our taxi driver drove us out to where Tanya is enrolled in a trade school. She has some legal rights over the two girls, so we had to make a good impression. The road to the trade school, wow. It was paved at some point in history, but there were a lot of holes, a lot of ice, and several lakes between us and our destination. At the trade school, we were shown to the director's office, where we waited outside for a few minutes. Then Tanya came out. We answered some of her questions, showed her pictures of Sasha and Nastiya. Then came some words out of my wife's mouth that I could not believe. She said something like, "We were hoping to adopt 3 girls, would you like to come to America?" Tanya did not say what I expected: "Oh no, I have boyfriend, I have job, I love Ukraine." She thought about the offer.

The director of the trade school popped out of the office and invited us in. We sat down around a table, with the director at her own table. Lots of questions from Tanya. Will I be able to keep in contact? Are you a dentist and is your wife a hair dresser? Do you live in Dallas? (Sasha and Nastiya were a bit confused, I think, and communicated some wrong information.) She also told us that they came back very happy, that they got along better after the visit with us. Much good news. Then, how will we keep in touch? Will I be able to visit? How often will I be able to visit? We heard no mention of the boyfriend. By the end of the meeting, we were telling her that we would be willing to adopt her if she wanted to come, and if it was allowed by both the U.S. and Ukraine.

OK, so instead of bringing home 3 girls aged 8, 10, and 11, it looks like I might have 3 sisters aged 8, 11, and 17. That's going to take a while to digest.

Eileen: I was instantly impressed with Tanya. I loved her right away. She greated us warmly, shared her gratitude and retold stories the girls shared with her when they returned last summer. She was respectful and genuine and had no trouble looking us in the eye. I wanted to promise her our help through life, people who would always care for her and make sure she didn't have to resort to prostitution for a living. She was sober about her future. She was concerned for her sisters and wanted to know how she could keep in touch with them. Could she visit? Yes. We could send he a ticket once a year or two. But Tanya, come live with us.
P.S. No NAYSAYING. I don't want to hear about it. Contrary to American foster teens, the teens that come from Ukraine do very well in the US.
Rolan: Tanya wanted to think about it for a day. The social worker will not be available on Friday, and our translator goes back to Kiev for the weekend, so things will be on hold until Monday. What more could happen? We made some calls to the U.S. embassy, and they said that there should be no problem, since Tanya is 17 and is a sister to the other two girls. The girls may all have been born here in Slovyansk, which is very good news, no travelling for birth certificates.

After our visit with Tanya, we walked to the local market, picked up food and water and wine and beer, and went back to the hotel room, where we celebrated and talked with Olga a lot. Her stories are very interesting. We went to a local restaurant "Chinook" for dinner. There was a great stroganoff there. During dinner, Olga found out from Valentina that if we want to adopt Tanya, we must be present in Kiev to petition at the SDA. I feel some shaking and baking coming on.

Plans for tommorow:
_ see Sasha, finally, and Nastiya,
_ get a modem and a plan that allows me to connect to the internet via phone service,
_ talk to Tanya, to see what she wants to do,
_ anything else that comes up that was unplanned.

Day 5

2009-01-22T12:18:00.000-08:00

It is still hard to get up. I finally got up at 10:30. The sun was shining on me. That's right, the SUN was shining on me. And it was WARM. Jet lag is a bear.

Not much was planned for today. We should get our referral from the SDA after 5pm. So we walked up to St. Sophias. We walked down to the SDA. The street has many beautiful apartment buildings (see photos). We walked past the outdoor mall. Nope, we almost walked past the outdoor mall. We stopped and bought souvenirs (those are so CUTE!). There was a lot of biting wind, so we went back to the apartment and had lunch. We needed to talk with Olga about transportation to Donetsk and/or Slavyansk.

Even here, many people have not heard of Slavyansk. It has a population of 140,000, but here, cities that size are considered small. In Colorado, there are definite city centers with comercial establishments and then sort of on the edges of those places of commerce, you have residential areas. This seems to be all mixed up here so you don't really know how big a city is.

We heard from Valentina and Olga that the rules for adoption are changing again. More forms to fill out. something about proof of housing size and ownership. If you are coming you have probably heard. We are in under the wire. The new rules take effect February 1.

A funny thing happened at lunch yesterday. Eileen was talking to Valentina about her brothers, and Eileen had her hands up near her face. Suddenly, Valentina grabbed her hands and started laughing. It turns out Eileen was making a rude gesture, and did not realize it. You have to be careful where you put your thumbs.

When Olga showed up, we decided that we needed to take a plane to Donetsk, since the social worker would not be there Friday. So we went around Independence Square to the travel agency, to get our tickets. The streets around the square are like any downtown: all one way streets. Another loop around the square back to the apartment. Then we had 30 minutes to pack. Then we ran to the SDA, to get in line to get our referral (its a good idea to be there 30 minutes early, otherwise you wait longer). Many of the other couples there spoke English. A family from Sicily, who used to live in Chicago. A family from Baltimore. We got in fairly quickly, got our referrals, and went back to our apartment. We had a whole hour for dinner. We were glad to eat our leftovers of chicken soup, bread (always a treat) and fruit.

After dinner we got in the car with all our luggage, and Sasha flew us to the airport. "Fly" is almost not a metaphor. The speed limit was 90, but Sasha was pushing 180. The highway lanes must be for: right lane - pokey petes, middle lane - go the speed limit, left lane - white knuckles. At one point, a "slow" car was in the left lane, probably doing the limit. We came up on his tail fast. Sasha started flicking his brights: flick...flick...flickflickflickflick. The guy ahead started to move over. Sasha was not happy enough, he passed the guy while he was still changing lanes. We may have been inches away from contact. We were also inches away from soiled clothes.

At the airport, we waited an hour, went through security, and hopped on a 737 (Donbassaero: Don(etsk)bass(??)aero). The airport here is like the one in Dusseldorf: you walk out onto the tarmac and climb on a bus, which takes you to the plane. Then you crowd around the steps leading up to the door of the plane, trying to stand behind someone taller than you so you get less wind in your face. The snack on this plane was a piece of candy, followed by a hambun (for those of you who are unfamiliar with dutch culture, it is a small roll with 2 small pieces of ham. This one was accompanied by shredded lettuce and tomato) and a pineapple juice. An hour later we were in Donetsk. It was very foggy, and the temperature was -1 C. We grabbed our luggage from the luggage trolley (much quicker than waiting for it to arrive inside) and went out to our waiting taxi. Really 5 minutes from plane to curb.

One thing we noticed on the plane and on some newscasts. It seems like a thing of pride to talk fast and not take breaths. We listened to a newscaster go for five minutes, and it felt like he never breathed in. It was like listening to the wind blow, up and down, up and down, bulabulabulaBULABULABULbulabulabula... The head steward of the plane could talk faster than anyone I have ever heard. When he spoke English, even though it was pretty good English, it was difficult to tell what he was saying. I took a class my sophomore year, and it was possible to listen to tapes of the lectures with the dead space removed. An hour long lecture could be heard in 30 minutes. You could do it if you paid attention. News speakers and plane stewards here can do it without electronics.

Sasha, the Kiev driver, has a nice expensive BMW, latest touch screen, etc. Donestk taxi guy's car was older, maybe a Fiat, but it had TV and other software. ("Glass" is Ukrainian for "cool".) The taxi driver was not prepared for the amount of luggage we had. We had to put several bags in the car with us. He just didn't know how to pack, the amatuer. Slovyansk is 100km north of Donetsk. The fog got worse and worse. Several times, he had to flash another driver to ask for directions. I guess that's what you do here: flash your high beams many times at another driver while flapping your left hand out the window, and that driver stops and asks, What the heck are you doing, you looney? We could not see anything on the trip, due to the fog and the fogged windows. We made a brief stop for much needed gas along the way. Our driver stuck his hand out the window to the attendant waiting there and the attendant put a small amount of gas in the car while THE ENGINE WAS STILL RUNNING.

At midnight, we came into Slovyansk. It was dead. The only thing that was moving was: a guy pushing a wagon loaded with goods (at midnight?), a few guys hanging around a bar, and taxis. Lots of taxis. We still had to ask for directions many times. And finally, there it was, down a dark street: Hotel Ukraine. The nicest building in town. We check in and crash. Set the alarm for 7am, and try to sleep. Tomorrow we see Sasha and Nastia.

Day 4

2009-01-22T09:12:00.000-08:00

Still hard for me to get up. The bed is not helping, and in a bad way. The bed is not the kind you would jump up and down on, just like you would not jump up and down on a sleeping bag thrown on the ground. My back has been hurting, and I think it's because the bed is so firm. Maybe I'll sleep on the desk tonight.

Today was our appointment with the SDA, the State Department of Adoption (and youth and sports). Our translator Olga met with us at 11:15, we talked about what to expect, then hiked the short distance to the SDA entrance. Note: Those wanting to adopt now go in the front entrance. The back entrance is used for putting requests in a queue. The SDA is next to St. Andrews church. Both times we have been near there, we saw a pack of street dogs. NOT, according to Olga, wild dogs. We met a Canadian couple, currently living in Ukraine, who are wanting to adopt. They have been reading our blog, so of course we liked them right away. We stood outside until noon, then went through the threshhold, where we waited another 20 minutes. Then Maria escorted us back to her office. I was struck by her gentleness and genuine love for her work. She looked glad to have us.

Maria asked us to tell her about ourselves. Another chance to talk about our favorite subjects! After a very brief summary, she asked us the last name of the girls we wanted. She searched through her big book of children, and did NOT find them. At this point, we got scared. Out she went to the other half of the office, to get another book. Maybe a different age group. She flipped through that book, and we SAW the picture of Natiya, then Sasha. We excitedly told her to stop turning pages, there were our girls. Maria told us that many families that host children do not recognize the pictures of the children they hosted, since the pictures may be very old. Sasha and Nastiya were definitely younger in the pictures, but they were SO CUTE. Nastia still had her baby teeth. I hope we get to keep those pictures, they are so good.

Then we started to look for Vika. Flip through the book again. No Vika. Then Maria said she is quite certain that Vika was adopted, she remembered the name. Oh no. Well, if Vika is not available, how about another girl from the same orphanage, with no siblings? Flip through the book. Nope, no children like that. Back to the other office, back again with another, bigger book. Older kids. 1994. 1993. 1992. Nope, no girls without sibs. At this point, we were saying any girl, 6 to 15, without sibs. Maria kind of chuckled. This is the second time in recent months, a family has been disappointed they couldn't find THREE. Maria said she would call the regional social worker, and find out if there were available girls, and we could find out at 3pm.

So off we went to lunch, just down the street. We went to a place that had an English menu called "Cheers" (nothing like the sitcom, however). Eileen had cabbage rolls, which turned out to be very much like the kind she makes. "Traditional Ukrainian dish," the menu said. I had potato pancakes, country style, which meant it came with bacon and onions. Cubes of bacon. And we had a small bowl of borshch each.

At 3pm, we called back. There were no other girls without siblings available. So at this point, we are practically resigned to having 2 children. There is a very slim chance that we could find a third girl when we visit the orphanage, but really little hope. And after talking it over, we won't be able to take 2 more than the 2 we want. Four girls in our house at one time? I don't think so.

Goodbye Olga, goodbye Valentina. See you in a day or two. Now we wait for the written referral, which will probably be late tomorrow afternoon. The referral is our golden ticket to take to all the authorities. The Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval from the SDA, as it were. Then we get to figure out how we are going to Donetsk: shake and bake (train), or plane.

What to do now? We are dazed, finding out that we do get to see Sasha and Nastiya, but sad that a third girl is not yet to be. We grab the laptop, and try to find the post office. The Canadians we met said there was internet access there. It's quite easy to find. We upload pictures, catch up on email. Then we explore the underground mall for a while. We run into someone we met last Sunday. This kind of thing never happens in Denver, but in the capitol city of a foreign country, why not? The Christmas tree is now unlit. The season must be over.

Back in our apartment, we eat some chicken soup, then I wash dishes. At 8pm, fireworks go off within easy view of our apartment. They last a minute or two, and the grand finale is 5 at once. Eileen picks up a guide and reads about Donetsk (THE major city close to Slavyansk, where Sasha and Nastiya are): "There's almost nothing to lure the casual visitor, but if you've always wanted to visit a coal pit or salt mine, now's your chance."

Day 3

2009-01-20T06:55:00.000-08:00

Jet_lag update. Sunday was awesome. We were alert, moving around, having a great time. Sunday night at 10:30, what, time to go to bed? Well, all right. Monday morning at 9:00, do we have to get up? Now it's noon. Not on Ukraine time yet.

We tried to use our washing machine. No internet connection in the apartment, so we have to guess at the settings. Plug it in, turn it on, pour in some soap, add the clothes, hit the play button. It sounds like an angry robot. The timer made us think it would wait 2 hours before starting, instead it ran for 2 hours. Shouldn't have washed jeans with whites. Yeah, it was that good.

Jim called and had us meet him at St. Michaels church. It's just up the hill. The sun was out! Quick, get outside! We dashed up hill, got to the church, and started snapping pictures. St. Michaels is at one end of the street, St. Sophias is at the other. We are right in between the two, about 1/2 mile between the two. The sunlight lasted for 30 minutes, then the sun went behind thin clouds. It started to get cold right away.

We went shopping with Jim and Joshua and Ashley at the outdoor mall. After a few (?) purchases, we went through the underground mall to exchange some money, hopped on the subway. I have never lived in a BIG city, so subways are new to me. But this is not like the train ride at DIA. When the train stops and the doors open, everybody moves at warp speed. Jump on, get out of the way of the people coming out, grab on to a pole. And when the door closes, it means business. Just like the doors in Star Trek, they slam shut. You better not be in the way, or you will lose an arm. There's none of this, "The doors are closing, please move out of the way," spoken in a firm but non-threatening way. Just, wham! And when you get to your stop, you had better exit quickly or you will get trampled by the crowds moving in.

We ended up at Eunice's house. Eunice and her husband work for Teen Challenge. The home is at the western edge of Kiev. Becky and Nadia joined us, and eventually Leslie, who is rooming there temporarily. Eunice has internet, drool, drool. We were served a tasty spaghetti dinner. Afterwards, Nadia tricked us into playing some word game. "Just one more round." As we left, snow started falling.

Eileen and I took the subway back to downtown. We were a bit confused at the start. Do we pay attention to the red signs, with a single name on them? Or do we pay attention to the blue or green signs, with more names? And what was the name of the stop we wanted? We jumped on a train with everyone else, and then we could read the map on the walls of the train. The announcement of the first stop confirmed we were on the correct train. Up and down a few escalators, then up the long escalators. The long escalators have signs every 15 or 20 feet, there must be 50 or 60 signs, and the escalator goes at a 45 degree angle. How far underground does that put us? And the top of the escalator is at the underground mall. There are lots of vendors near the gated entrances to the subway. It's out of the weather, and perhaps slightly warmer. One long section of walkway had row of flower vendors.

Tomorrow is our first big day. Our appointment with the SDA. Are we acceptable as parents? Are Sasha and Nastiya still available?

Day 2

2009-01-19T07:12:00.000-08:00

Our apartment:

Hot water. Eileen hopped in the shower. After a few minutes, no hot water. Called Becky for help. Did you turn on the hot water heater? Looked at the hot water heater. It looks like it holds about 5 gallons. Next time, quicker showers.

Our toilet. After you flush the toilet, it sounds like one of those horror movies, where something comes up out of the plumbing. Bloop bloop... bloop bloop... bloop, for about 5 minutes. Then another 5 minutes of hissing as water slowly does something.

Our fridge. The poor thing probably needs cleaning. It runs for many minutes, and then rests for just as long. It sounds like a friendly jack hammer. It does keep things cold.

Our bedroom door. The door is a sliding door. I tried to close it from inside the bedroom. It sort of jumped its track. OK, lift it up, put it back, and pull some more. It jumped its track a couple more times, until the door was almost closed. Then I tried to push it back open. No deal. Lift, push, drop, push. Finally I found a way to lift and push, and the door moved, and jumped its track. Several more minutes, and we could leave the bedroom.

Our bed. It's big, so we were not bumping into each other all night. It's like a thin mattress laid down on wood, so it is extra firm. Eileen really likes this. I like softer. There are also ridges under the mattress, sort of like you would find in a bed from a sleeper sofa, only not as cruel. Either the bed is quite good, or we are still jet lagged out of skulls.

Our elevator. With the door closed, its about 4ftx3ft. Scrawled on the wall in English (read it carefully), "Graffiti is not crime." Bad smell inside. Our translator told us that someone probably took their dog our for a walk, but waited too long to start the trip, and the dog did not need to leave the elevator by the time it got to the bottom. Our apartment is on the 9th floor. Seems like the dog could have waited a little longer.

Our view. We can see "Hotel Ukraine", the world's largest most gaudy Christmas tree, one of the largest TV screens in Europe, an ice skating rink, a lighted government building, the statue of independence, a car sitting on a glass roof that is tilted at a 45 degree angle over an underground mall, and lots of clouds (snowed all day).

Downtown Kiev. We are within easy walking distance of McDonalds, O'Brien's, Potato House, the Guam Embassy, many other exciting locations.

All in all, I would say the apartment is OK.

We spent most of today with Becky and Nadia. Becky teaches English to Russians, and Nadia teaches Russian to Americans. They have a car and can speak the language.

They took us to a large Christian church service. Like many modern American churches and mega churches, it had multimedia, live band with drums, bass guitar, etc., a choir, and the volume was painfully loud. A well known poet (well known to many, but not us) got up and read some of his poetry. The pastor gave a sermon of reasonable length service. We have heard of multi-hour services in Ukraine, but not this one. At one point, I think visitors were asked to stand. Becky and Nadia told us stand up. The pastor saw us, and asked us to come up on stage. He asked what we were doing in town. After we told him and everybody else about our adoption plans, he prayed over us and blessed us. This is a pretty big deal, since adoption is just starting to be accepted, even in the church. Becky said it has great meaning when the pastor blesses a couple who are doing this.

After church, we went out to eat. We could have stopped at "Mister Snack", but instead went around the corner to a buffet. We had borsch, chicken Kiev, beets, bread with garlic paste, vareniky (a childhood favorite for Eileen), and NestTea tea. Nadia had kvas. I've had that before, and decided it is a aquired taste. It's a drink that, I was told, tastes like root beer, but it's more like molasses water. Lunch for the two of was was about $10.

Then we travelled to the outdoor market. OK, it's below freezing, light snow is falling, and these people set up stalls every day. No heat, no lights, just small 8x10 stalls. All kinds of goods for sale. Eileen picked up some stuff for our kids, and I got a hat. Becky knows some of the vendors, so we gave them the business (the good kind).

Next we went to a mall. Typical mall. Skating rink, food court, electronics, jewelry, clothes, blah, blah, blah. At one point, it looked like we had stepped back into America. Most writing was in English. "Sale, 50% off." "Lingerie." "Tommy Hilfiger." "Hallmark." "Sbarro." Under the signs was the Ukrainian. (And speaking of English, advertising is here in all its glory. An apartment block is named "Desire." Right.) We stopped iat the equivalent of KMart, to shop for food. When you are buying drinking water, it goes faster than you would imagine.

On the way to the mall was a flea market. This only happens on weekends. It is outdoors, just like the outdoor market. No stalls, just people standing with their goods at their feet. They looked cold.

After the shopping, it was time to eat again. Back to downtown. We tried to eat at O'Brien's, but no wifi (for essential internet connection). So we went to "Planet Sushi". No seating available, but a table was opening soon in the smoking section, so we waited and were seated almost immediately. Again, typical good food, decent prices. As we talked, we found out that Eileen's 2nd cousin is well known in many parts of the Russian speaking world. She has written poetry that has been read over the radio, and her voice was used in a reading of the New Testament. Way to go, V.K.!

We got a new sim card and number for our phone, we are now on "Kiev Star". We'll try to get the new number out soon.

Finally, back to our good old apartment. Last night we got 10 to 11 hours of sleep. It was still hard to get up, but it's almost 10pm now, and we feel good. Maybe we can be completely on Ukrainian time tomorrow.

Day 1

2009-01-18T08:15:00.000-08:00

Rolan:
The adventure started the night before. A raccoon came back to our house, climbed on the roof, and started digging at the wood shingles. This is not the first time. I got out a long pole I used to paint the house, attached a roller frame, climbed a ladder to the roof of the house, and started poking this raccoon, to make him move. I had to chase him all around the roof, until he finally climbed into a tree that brushes the house. That's all the further he went. I checked out the damage, and found that he had already dug through the wood shingles. One web site suggests using wolf urine to keep him away.

After 24 hours of travel, we are now in our apartment in downtown Kiev. Our flight had two layovers, each lasting 3 hours. A little long, but it let us leave Denver in the morning, and arrive in Kiev in the afternoon. Lufthansa rocks! They served good food, with alcoholic beverage. Trying to sleep while sitting up in a narrow plane seat does not rock. I had ear plugs. As they expanded in my ears, the noise of the jets became less and less, until it was a faint noise. Then the child in the cabin started screaming. If jet engines are 180 db, then this child must be 240 db.

Eileen:
We got our leg room for the overseas flight by getting bulkhead seats but we were right under the movie monitor and next to the bathroom. The former provided an unwelcome bright white light, the later saw almost continuous use during the night. Just a heads up for fellow travelers. I was surprised by the brief night. Yeah, I knew it was going to be short but I didn't know it would be that short. We left Chicago at 4:30 pm and arrived in Germany about midnight, Chicago time. Maybe 1 hour 30 minutes sleep by that point. It was 7:00 am Dusseldorf tme. One would sort of expect some trace of sunlight but I could have sworn someone was playing a joke on us and it was midnight in Dusseldorf too. They wanted us to go to security. Never done that before between flights. I sort of woke up at one point when a female security gaurd started patting me down. I wasn't even awake enough to say, "Hey!"

Rolan:
What we saw of Dusseldorf airport felt like a video game. Many of the walls were glass framed in shiny steel. Lots of halogen lights. There were stairs going down, unreachable behind glass walls. How do you get to them? The only water I could find was from the restroom sink. As Americans going to Ukraine, we were turned away from the boarding gate. "You must have a green stamp on your boarding pass. Downstairs." OK. Once we got someone to look at our passports and boarding passes, we got a green stamp. Back upstairs, everything is ok.

Eileen:
Heidi and Felix let us use their phone. It gave us a security blanket to have a number to call (already in the phone) when we arrived and didn't see our facilitator, Olga. Thanks guys! It was great to go to a grocery store right away and get a bunch of food and pay for it with grivnas. (Thanks Heidi and Felix and Kari!) The bread here is terrific and the butter and we found a good salami to have for dinner. I bought eggs and cheese and chicken too so we don't have to use up our emergency food supply of instant oatmeal and soups. We went to test the gas stove and thought for sure the gas war with Russia was finally taking its toll. Couldn't get the thing to light. Found out there is a valve you have to turn behind the stove (kinda like your gas grill). Managed to light it so we can have cooked eggs in the morning. Our apartment is kind of sparse but has a dynamite view of the square which is lit quite nicely and has special looking buildings downtown. It'll do.

Message to Kari: One extra roll.

Rolan:
Getting through customs in Kiev was no problem. Our driver is Sasha. He drives fast. The speed limit says 90 km/hr, he goes 140.

. . . One . . .

2009-01-15T14:30:00.000-08:00

"I'm okay to go," Jodie foster said quietly, sitting in the space pod that would soon whisk her across the universe. Mission control kept asking her if she was okay so she started repeating it over and over as the sound of the machine grew louder and louder. "Okay to go . . okay to go . . .okay to go . . "

Last minute scrambling to get a few more things packed for the kids: balloons, candy, books. Yesterday a lady from the Longmont newspaper called wanting to do a story on the families that are adopting from Ukraine in our area. "Yes!!" An hour just talking away about the last four years with our Boulder County fost/adopt experiences. Shared the story of my great grandpa whom I'm so proud of that had an orphanage in Ukraine. I showed her pictures. Praying Jesus will bless the story. (Its okay Kari) A raccoon visiting our garage left us a present. My fault, forgot to close the door. Cover the beds so they will be fresh when the girls come home. Give the plants I moved last summer some extra water. The dry winter kills here. Pack my crochet hook so I have something to do there. I hope I can find a yarn shop. (Poor Ukraine, someone should warn them a woman with too much time on her hands is coming with a crochet hook). Talk to Mom and give her all the phone numbers for everyone. Find out a good friend has cancer. Think about making lunch for tomorrow. Pack some more yarn. Wait for Rolan to come home. I get to be with him on this trip. I love that idea.

I'm okay to go, okay to go.

. . .Three . . .

2009-01-13T16:00:00.000-08:00

Four years of pursuing kids. Training, paperwork, prayers. To our three foster kids and 2 foreign orphan kids for a summer, our little church has been more than gracious. We didn't drag Crestview through our dreams and passions, they put their arm around us and walked with us.

They gave us a shower to fill our closets with needed clothes and toys. The foster kids came with little or nothing and left with full suitcases. Hand me downs and gift cards to Target came for unmentionables and play clothes. Orphan kids also came at Rolan's and my invitation without asking our church's support, and again Crestview Church showered us with clothes and toys, knowing Ro and I would give all away to be left with nothing for the next group of kids. I thought they would grow tired of it.

Sunday the 4th, they took an offering for Sasha and Nastia's Orphanage. Our little church with maybe 100 people, gave almost $1,600! Now Ro and I will be able to go and buy something needed by the orphanage, help the children and their caretakers as well as stimulate the local economy. There will be joy in Slavyansk this winter! What a great witness. Jesus sends his love Slavyansk, through his servants at Crestview Church.

I'm so proud to be part of a congregation of people who are generous and compassionate, even during times when the future is uncertain. I'm humbled by their faithfulness. I'm confident they will model Jesus for our new daughters.

. . .Four . . .

2009-01-12T12:11:00.000-08:00

The rooms are getting cleaned up. The purple room is beautiful! Starting to pack. What a chore. Okay, maybe we really don't need 55 packets of instant oatmeal. We are going to Ukraine not the wilderness. Take the 'pepcid' out of the box since it's twice the size of the container. Grouping stuff together for ease of organization. The plastic zippered bags you get when you buy sheets and blankets are good for that. I have my medicine bag, my 'thank you' gift bags in a bag, my entertaining-and-educating-the-girls bag and my . . . okay, my suitcase full of hats. My secret fear is that they will be so geeky the kids won't want them.

Remembering what a scaredy-cat I am about everything. Really getting nervous. There was a sermon yesterday morning but I had trouble focusing on it. Not that I was making mental lists or anything. I've trained myself not to worry but the nebulous fear is still with me. The worst thing to do is allow it to paralyze me. The temptation to do nothing rears its head. Nothing. Just do what Ive been doing. I've already raised kids. Hey, life doing nothing isn't so bad! Yeah, right. I would rather suffer with difficult children than be guilty of doing nothing. You know its a trick of the enemy if it makes you ineffective for the kingdom. Not an option.
Last night, rather unexpectedly, a sudden peace came over me. It was so relaxing. I knew it meant someone was praying for us. Thank you.

. . . Eight . . .

2009-01-08T16:09:00.000-08:00

A fire just west of here in our beautiful foothills. Could smell the burning grass as the sun set and the wind blew the smoke in our direction. 1,000 homes evacuated. Whose? Where? The hills are about 5 miles away.

I got up about midnight and looked out the west window. I saw an orange glow. The wind blew hard and the glow brightened. I thought the fire was out! The wind had been fierce the past couple of days revealing local home owners' weak fences, sick trees, downing and scattering dead branches over lawns and streets. As I pulled the covers over my head, I wondered how long it would take the fire to reach us. 50 mile an hour wind. Would we get the evacuation call in the night? What would I take?!

House or no house, I'm taking the passports and dossier! Even if the house burns down, I'm going to go to Ukraine to get my kids!

. . .Nine . . .

2009-01-07T19:33:00.000-08:00

(A peak inside the head of the expectant mother.)

Shopping. More sheets. Blankets. Eye shadow sampler for gifts. $1 ped kits for fun time with girls. Already have cheap polish.

Making another bulletin board. Cindy wants to sleep on the satin fabric leftovers.
Cat nesting materials never cease to amaze me.

Rub Tung oil all over the pine dresser. Two more coats 48 hours apart. Careful not to get any on the new carpet. Hmmmm, seems to bring out all the dirt didn't notice before. Oh, well, guess it gets sealed in.

Expect to be there over Valentines Day. It would be nice to bring a packet of stickers, cards, etc. to make with the girls. Glitter glue. Is that asking for it?
Does it wash out?

I made scarves for Sasha and Nastia. I think a light blue for Vika would be envied. A little satin yarn with this fuzzy stuff crocheted in.

I promised Sasha some girls play makeup when she was here and could find any. Target now has girls lip gloss the flavor of Cotton Candy (Lord, have mercy).

Line shelves in Purple room closet. I like 'Contact Paper'. Little pink flowers.

Finished another hat.

Can put all the paint cans away now. Seven?! How did I manage to open seven cans?

Dang, I'm pooped.

Like That Chicken

2009-01-05T07:52:00.000-08:00

. . . with his head cut off. The one that's still running around. Yeah, that's me. WE LEAVE NEXT WEEK! I think I'm probably making more work for myself than I need to but it is a necessary distraction as well as an attempt to make things easier for myself when we get back. I'm just a little nervous. And you know, you wouldn't want to bring a newborn baby home to a dirty house or one that needs repair. Well, I don't want to bring my girls home to a house that needs attention either!

Trying to pay attention to the news as well. Have decided to bring the full length down coat, glove liners, one down and one fleece throw and wool sweaters instead of cotton in addition to the rest of the warm clothes already planned. In the middle of winter, Russia and Ukraine are in a dispute about the price of the precious natural gas that heats the boilers of Ukraine, as well as the rest of Europe. Russia has been suffering with the economic downturn, and well, let's just grab Europe by the throat, shall we? Russia says to self, "A little boost in price (okay, big BOLSHOY boost in price) will help Russian economy, dah!" This gas is piped through Ukraine to the rest of Europe and, hey, Ukraine wants a cut of the profits. Or a discount at least. Sounds fair. Russia says nyet. Cuts off gas to Ukraine. Ukraine is using reserve now. In a couple of weeks that gas will run out and . . . Did I mention that in High School, I was voted most likely to 'freeze to death in Arizona in July'?

I've made about 40 hats out of my leftover yarn so far. Say, does anyone happen to know the population of Ukraine?

A Family for Christmas

2008-12-26T11:05:00.000-08:00

For those of you who are not Ukrainian adoption blog junkies, I need to tell you a little story. A little background: we have the great blessing of being part of a community of families that live reasonably close by that are all adopting from Ukraine. There are seven families (I can think of) that are in the process of or have adopted from Ukraine. We share needed information and wisdom obtained from the process and travel to the said foreign country and most importantly, we allow the children to visit each other in hopes of letting them know they are not alone here in this big alien country. There are other children here just like them.

One of our families we sent off in early November with much love and prayer. As is expected, they spent long and sometimes frustrating days in the old country waiting for impossibly slow paper work. They were there for some 45 days. It looked as if they would be there for Christmas. At the last minute, the last of the paperwork was secured (thank you US Embassy!). And on Christmas Eve, at 4:15 pm, the new family entered the main terminal at Denver International Airport. I was there, all smiles and hugs to welcome them home at last. I wasn't sure how many of our community would be there seeing it was Christmas Eve and all but eventually almost all the families came with Russian speaking children in tow. It was wonderful.

It was a child's Christmas in Colorado this year. What an awesome gift. What a beautiful memory.

Nesting

2008-12-12T07:27:00.000-08:00

We have officially asked for our third child, a sweetie named Vika (or Victoria) who turned 10 last summer. I smile as I look at her picture taken last March with hair cut super-short for lice control, she kinda looks like me. I overflow with empathy. Naw. She's cute. I'll be able to show photos later but I have to be careful for reasons I will tell later (if I don't, remind me). With Nastia turning 8 on the 22nd of December, Sasha at 11 in September and Vika at 10 last July, people will think I really cranked out the kids! Hey Folks, this is a great way to have a passel of kids close together and not have to go through the multiple sleepless nights of the infant/toddler phase. I feel like I got away with something. At least until college. Hmmmmm. ("Honey, how much do we have in our college fund?!")

Finishing up the house. Out comes the paint. I noticed a few spots on the ceiling in the purple room, the one that will house two girls. I can't imagine trying to finish this with people actually living in it so best fix it now. I remember when I first painted this room. Its the first room I ever painted a feminine color. Josh had moved out to attend CU and I wanted a guest room for Mom and buddy De. When I had the paint mixed, the guy put the can on the counter and said flatly, "Here's your ugly purple paint, lady." I saw the twinkle in his eye. My cue. I let him know in mock self-righteousness that I had put up with three brothers and two sons and was ready to openly embrace my feminine side! Well, I didn't say that exactly, but I could have here in Boulder, Colorado. Didn't know then that I would invite others to "embrace my feminine side" so personally. Ah, life does have its twists, doesn't it?

We have been fortunate to find a great deal of needed furniture, used. The only thing we need now is two twin bed frames. Canopy beds please. White iron prefered. Without the little hump in the top. Cheap. Less than one hundred each, thank you. What? You aren't Santa? Bummer. Guess I'll have to go shopping tomorrow. Not such a bummer. Bed frames, even canopies aren't very much more than that and I should be able to find them new.

Photos: UL- One brave husband, painting the house. With every weekend we spent painting it ourselves, we were sure we saved $10,000 more bucks.
UR-Moving back into the bigger family room (excuse the disorder). The new part is marked with a line next to the mantel, since painted to match the rest of the room.
LR- Extended breakfast room. I got the biggest window I could without having to go to a more expensive shatterproof glass. Note classy cat door on lower left. Sliding glass door is just to the left in that room.

I'll try and dig up a "before" photo for our out-of-state friends.

Plane Tickets

2008-12-06T14:46:00.000-08:00

The first thing you do after recovering from the shock of learning your appointment date is to buy plane tickets. I've been reading blogs on people who have gone, are going, or are in Ukraine right now adopting kids. Even if they are infrequent writers, they always write about buying their plane tickets. I've wondered about this odd, subconscious response to the invitation to come. Buying the ticket is logical. Blogging it seems odd to me. I think it is the globally verbal acceptance of the invitation.

If that's what it is then "I do." I'll come and adopt these kids. Here is my proof for all to hear. A purchased plane ticket. I'm coming. January 16th at 10:15am, we are getting on a plane that will take us to points east and the next leg of our life's adventure.

I'm calming down some. Last week, I resembled the apparition from "The Scream," but his week, having bought the ticket, ordered money, and prayed over and kissed another Ukraine-bound friend goodbye, I'm settling down a little. With one exception. The truth is I'm a homebody.

I love living in Colorado. There is very little about it not to love. But there are about 8 weeks in the winter when I wish I were somewhere else. God in his great mercy and grace has blessed us with another place to be during that time this year, it doesn't matter that its Ukraine and not Cancun. I'm coming home with impressive souvenirs! But we are going to be gone very long and we don't know when we are coming home! Home, where my friends and family roam. Where the cats purr and the coyotes yip at night (really!). Home, where NPR reports on lipstick on pigs and my womens Bible study meets on Wednesday mornings. Where Tchaikovsky plays and my books lie waiting silently for me. I love home. I'm rather attached to it. I don't even like long vacations. It's not being in a foreign country or not understanding the culture or not speaking the language and being misunderstood or even wondering who God will give us as children, I dread. We have been down that road before! The worst thing is having the whole affair drag on and on. Seven weeks, eight weeks, Rolan must return to the job he left. I'm alone in Ukraine. Arg! Even a pregnant woman knows the thing must end after a fashion. It always does. Okay, does anyone out there know of anyone who went and never came back?

Of course, I'm being silly. Even so, could you please pray for a quick adoption? Thank you.

INAUGURATION !

2008-11-25T20:24:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday, January 20th Barack Obama will be inaugurated in Washington DC.
On January 20th in Kiev Ukraine, Rolan and I will also be ushered into an other office . . . !

Twenty Hats

2008-11-25T08:02:00.000-08:00

Before our adoption buddies Heidi and Felix left, Heidi asked for donations of hats, scarves and mittens to take to the children. I love to work with my hands, especially when watching TV, so I wondered if I could maybe make some in my spare time. Not worth the trouble to make mittens (you can buy a pair at Target for $1) but I made the girls scarves before they left for Ukraine out of the vast piles of yarn left over from my afghan projects (the blanket type not the people). Well, why not just use the rest for hats and scarves for the whole orphanage? I have a LOT of yarn. I've made a lot of afghans. I knew the day would come when all those remnants could be used to warm the world. My day has come.

When you buy a ball of yarn, you are committed to it. You can't return it. Retailers don't take them back because so many people tried to return skeins that had, say, a yard they needed and so was missing, from a 315 yard skein. Honestly, its hard to tell if there is a yard missing, even for a retailer, and its dishonest to try and resell a 315 yard skein that has only 314 yards in it. Sorry, I know, its a knitting thing. Anyway, what you end up with, if you do any significant yarnwork at all, is a big basket full of remnants and unused skeins. I was bored of making scarves and thought I would broaden my needlework knowledge horizon a little and make some hats.
I wonder how many I can make with the yarn I still have. Care to make a wager? If you're right you can have a free . . . hat.

Practicing Waiting

2008-11-16T09:37:00.000-08:00

I remember a commercial for something years ago. Can't recall what they were selling but I retained a great lesson in patience.

There was a young chauffeur standing by a black limo nonchalantly polishing the hood ornament. A rather imposing older gentleman approaches him and barks, "What are you doing Charles?!" Charles rights himself smartly and responds, "Practicing waiting, Sir." The older gentleman was satisfied with the answer and moved on to the next trainee.

Every once in a while in life, I feel like I'm "practicing waiting," trying very hard not to burst with impatience over the next high point in the roller coaster ride. I have to keep the adrenaline in check somehow and not let it get the better of me, causing me to do things I may regret later like purchasing unuseable stuff. So I have to keep myself busy. Polish the hood ornament, that sort of thing.

We are waiting for our appointment date. Sigh. They are required to give you some sort of answer in 20 days (I'm assuming business) after the Dossier was submitted. Don't know for sure when the doss was submitted, but I'm thinkin' that was probably Nov 4th (election day, remember?). We could be waiting a few more weeks here. Thus the need to keep practicing (see above).

Well, I promised our boys that when they grew up and moved out, they could take their bedroom furniture with them to furnish their new bach pads, be they ever so meager. Our young men are long gone and their furniture with them. The new rooms we are preparing for the girls need a few things. Then God blessed the world with Craig's List. A free, on-line means of selling just about anything, from one private party to another. Okay, God used Craig but "All good things come from God," as the scriptures say. I haven't used Craig's List a great deal but it seems there is enough furniture posted each day to furnish even the sparsest household in about a week, if you wanted. I have to ask myself, "If we don't get the girls or we don't get three as we hope, would this piece of furniture work?" I don't want to ask itjat question. I want three girls! Such is the internal struggle. How does one solve this delemma?

It could be more difficult than expected to get the three we hope for. I was told, it could be quite difficult to get a third unrelated child. Sasha is 11, Nastia will be 8 and then a yet unkown 13 or 14 year old. So, do we purchase furniture for 2 and then send out a purchasing committee if we are in the process of three? Or purchase for 2 and then purchase for another, after we return home, should our dreams come true? I hear it is good to have the home ready for all and shows the children they are wanted and planned for. Therefore one must purchase for three and face the possible risk of going through the painful process of selling the unneeded furniture on Craig's List when one gets home with only two. Hmmmm.

I guess one doesn't polish the hood ornament without thinking.

The Dust Settles

2008-11-13T07:31:00.000-08:00

Even though it means our Sasha and Nastia must wait a little longer, our advocate/facilitator over there in Ukraine, tells us we probably won't go until February. I'm a little relieved. I was dreading going over during Christmas due to the expensive flights, Holiday closures of Ukrainian government offices, and leaving our boys (tho they be grown) without us during Christmas time.

I've heard there is a Ukrainian family interested in our girls who are waiting.

It is good to know Jesus during these times.

AH! AH! AH! (The quiet is broken by shrieks)

2008-11-10T07:52:00.000-08:00

You know those shows where decorators kick homeowners out of their homes and then the decorators totally redo a room? The homeowners come back and have to close their eyes and then they open their eyes, take in the transformed room, gasp and yell, "OH MY GOSH!" That's kind of what Ro and I did.

Our friends Heidi and Felix left Friday on their own quest for adoptive children from Ukraine. They have the same facilitator and asked when our dossier would be submitted to the State Department. She told them it was. Just last week! See, when one submits a doss to the State Department on behalf of an adoptive family, it is customary to inform the said adoptive family that one has done so via e-mail. No such e-mail was sent. We knew there was a good chance it would be soon but didn't know for sure. Such things are a mystery.

The "OH MY GOSH," comes in realization that for sure we will be going to Ukraine before the end of the year! The State Department has 20 days (business days?) to look over our precious packet of papers and declare us unfit for parenting Ukrainian children or fit and then give us a date and time to bring our nervous and trembling bodies into their office for an interview. We have friends going for a Dec 10 appointment date so it will be later. Christmas? Sounds so romantic but I think finding flights now would be a nightmare! So we wait on pins and needles. Any day now we will hear the the starter gun fire and then the frantic preparations . . .

All Is Quiet

2008-10-21T07:22:00.000-07:00

Dossier has arrived. Was signed for (so says the tracking number information) Oct 8th. Now the great wait. Our facilitator in Kiev will work on translating the many documents. Each individual document has a special piece of paper stapled twice on the left edge that covers the original with the name of the notary that signed it and the approval of the state commissioner. There are about 25 documents. She has her work cut out for her.

I must confess, the very hardest part for me in this journey, is leaving my home for 4+ weeks. I do love to travel and explore but get restless to return to my nest after a couple of weeks. Not sure how I'm going to remedy this discomfort when there is no set return date. So now is the best time to do what I can to prepare as thoroughly as possible for that time. I'm reading other blogs, keeping up on my scant Russian and pestering my Ukrainian adoption buddies for information. (Word on the street is one of my buddies has 15 pages of stuff to bring!) Rolan has switched to Russian instead of Ukrainian language CD's to listen to on his way to work. Hunting for constructive stuff to do while we wait for papers, court dates, etc. Ideas are welcome. I've heard the boredom gets to you. As a last resort, I could bring a suitcase full of books, magazines and yarn to make poor unsuspecting children scarves and afghans. (Actually, that doesn't sound too bad.) I would love to plant fruit trees or a veggie garden with the kids depending on the time of year and the tools available. Something to look into. Anyway, I think the more prepared I am, the more I will look forward to going and actually enjoy the time we are there.

It's really hard to say when we will go. There is a rumor that the 2008 quotas are not met so they are still giving appts even into Dec. February? March? Unknown. New Ukraine law weeded out the international singles and older adopters so the lines aren't as long as in the past. People who have already submitted their documents are getting in sooner than expected. We are on pins and needles watching our buddies bring kids home, get appointment dates and make flight reservations! When will our turn come?

I'm a little twisted but this is fun.

"Houston, We Have Contact!"

2008-10-07T10:51:00.000-07:00

When you are waiting for signs of life from the kids you love, it seems like they are on a planet in another solar system.

Here is proof our letter was received!

Thank you AZ!

Dossier Away!

2008-10-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

I'm embarrassed to say how long we have been working on this thing. It took extra long and then we had to update almost all of it. ("Excuse me, yes, I know, I'm sorry but this has to be done over again because . . .") But now it is updated and the dates should be good til the end of January. Seems like enough time but my hunch is that we will have to do more updating before this portion of the show is over. Other people aren't getting their papers submitted in less than six months and as special as I think I am, I bet ours will be like that or worse on account of the gov over yonder liking to take January off. That just means we pay moocha mulla to mail more updated documents when January comes and goes. I digress.
So, sniff, it is with hankies waving we bid THE ALMIGHTY DOSSIER godspeed.

On the up side, a good Ukrainian lady that does adoption work is seeing the girls today and sending them our love with a letter.
AND Frontier Horizons is going over at the end of the month. They said they would take the girls a package for us!

Sasha the Teacher

2008-09-23T20:23:00.000-07:00

It has been a month now since Sasha and Nastiya had to go back to Ukraine. They taught me lessons this summer. These are lessons I quickly forget, so I am writing this down to help me remember.

This lesson is from Sasha.

We were on vacation at a family camp in the redwoods near Santa Cruz. A train ride down to Santa Cruz was planned one day. The train had open cars. The train would stop at the boardwalk in Santa Cruz, on the beach. Had the girls ever seen the ocean?

I tried to tell Sasha all the things that were going to happen, but she was in a rebellious mood. "No sleep. No eat." She was telling me she did not want to do anything. How could I explain to her in a way she could understand? My Russian was poor, her English was poor, pantomiming seldom got across the correct idea.

I could not let her miss this opportunity, so I picked her up out of bed, grabbed a bag with a change of clothes, and started walking to the place where people were gathering to catch a ride to the train. For half the distance, she struggled and fought to get out of my grasp. She finally realized I had enough strength to force her to do what I wanted. She then decided that she did not want to be seen in her pajamas. I found a place for her to change into her clothes.

We rode the train. We ran on the beach, and found shells, and big clumps of icky sea weed. We ate fresh fish at a restaurant on the pier. We saw sea lions. We rode many rides on the boardwalk. We gave both girls disposable cameras so they could remember their day on the beach, and the pictures were quickly used up. It was a very good day.

The lesson? How often does God come to me and say, "I have something great planned. We don't communicate well, so I can't begin to make you understand just how great it's going to be. But it will be awesome. Come on! Let's go!" And what do I usually say? "I'm comfortable here. I like this routine. I don't want to do something unfamiliar. I don't trust you." Unlike my story with Sasha, God usually lets me stay where I am, where things slowly becomes less enjoyable, and I miss the great thing God had planned. Just as Sasha did not trust me, I do not trust God.

If we can get Sasha and Nastiya back, there will many more opportunities for learning trust. And I hope that my eyes can remain open to the lessons these girls are teaching me.

I Cor. 2:9 - "... 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him'"

Papers and Other Terrors

2008-09-11T19:07:00.000-07:00

The construction company is officially finished.
So I says to myself, "Why in the world should I pay a contractor to paint my house when I am perfectly capable of doing it myself?"
The new addition outside.
"I'll save a bundle for sure!"
Its a split level so the eaves are way up there.
"I like to paint."
The kitchen addition inside too.
"It will just take a few days."

Five days of painting. I'm tired of painting. Its really quite amazing how much paint we've accumulated in the 15 years we've been here. At least 5 different gallons of "white" and I still can't find the "white" that matches the ceiling in the kitchen. I'm starting to think 'Hillsborough Beige' looks exactly like the nylons I used to buy. The rough-wood-gray-outside-stain stuff is like water. Do you really just put it on with a roller? It's so drippy. I bet it would work better if I just poured it on the siding from the upstairs window.
(Haven't done that one yet but I'm tempted.)

So miss the girls. I don't even have their address. Not a good feeling. I'm working on it by pleading with people that have connections over there. I'm hoping Sasha will write a letter and send it in one of the SASE I gave her. Of course, they don't have a return addresses on them . . .

Painting the house is such a downer after the great summer we had together. Oh gee, I guess I'll clean out the game closet next week. Doesn't that sound exciting?
(Sorry, just a little bitterness seeping through.)

Papers. Yeah. I keep thinking that any day now we will be able to send our dossier over the great ocean to the country beyond (that would be Ukraine). We send papers to the lady that checks them very carefully to see if there are any booboos and she tells us there are corrections that need to be made and we make them and send them back and then she tells us there are some more papers. Its kind of like painting. Do you ever finish, really? But I think we are almost ready this time! When she finally says they are okay, I have to take the whole bundle down to Denver where the lord high keeper of the notaries will check to make sure the notaries are really notarized to be notaries and not just people with fancy embossing equipment maniacally stamping otherwise innocent looking papers just for kicks. I can't wait.

I wonder if they really ever find notaries that aren't notarized.

Comfort of the Fuzz Therapists

2008-08-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

Saying "goodbye" to our two little darlings was one of the hardest things ever! What in the world are my daughters-to-be doing halfway around the world? I want to go get them right now! Too many tears at the airport.

Jesus, please protect them from discouragement, evil and mean people. Let us get there quickly for their sakes (okay, mine too).

Today the house is too quiet.

In times like these, I turn to my ever-ready, highly-trained, fuzz therapists. These compact professionals are standing by to remind me during these very emergencies that life is, indeed, good and all will be well.

Today, I need my fuzz therapists.

Cindy, HTFT (Highly Trained Fuzz Therapist)

Chew on This

2008-08-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

I watched Nastia take a bite of a small piece of watermelon. She doesn't have an under bite but she chews that way. We had taken them both to the dentist, just for a look, earlier that summer. He told us that Sasha has fillings (though poor ones). Her decay would be lost over the next year because they were inhabiting baby teeth. Nastia had no fillings and 6 cavities that were, indeed, causing her not a little discomfort.
I borrowed Heidi's host kid teens to play with Sash and told Nast that we were going somewhere together. On the way, I told Nastia that Ukraine dentists were not so good and American dentists were good and that I wanted to help her teeth not hurt so much. She accepted that.
She was amazing. A little nitrous oxide and one hour later and we went home without so much as a whimper. After the Novocaine wore off, she wanted to know WHEN WE CAN GO BACK! I had already made a second appt for this week. She practically jumped up and down! "I hurt here and here and here," she said. "Okay, I'll tell him that."
After the second appt today, she said she has no more pain.
Good dentists. Just another blessing we take for granted.

Life with the Koopatzah Sisters

2008-08-14T12:22:00.000-07:00

I hope you have interpreted my silence to mean I'm busy. Yes. Understatement. But not exhausted. I've experienced that before with difficult foster children. This is nothing like that. That was a bad sort of busy. This is the kind of busy where you end up saying to yourself, "I don't know where this will end up but I sure am glad I spend the summer this way." And, "I can't really think of a better way to spend a summer." I wish I could have brochures at travel agencies recommending the highlights of Ukrainian orphan child hosting. You will never see your world the same way again. That is what I would say. You will come to appreciate fresh produce (the actual food, not the clothing line) consumed in quantities that would make a teenager blush, your own set of clothes (that no one else wears), and sofa beds (which elicit squeals of delight). I love hearing Nastia say, " Oh, Vow!" over the most mundane things. When was the last time a sofa bed made you laugh? I thought so.

Sasha and Nastia's last name isn't really Koopatzah. I renamed them that. I have absolutely no doubt that some well-meaning person, wanting to encourage them told them they would go swimming EVERY DAY. How do I know this? They demand it, the plead for it, they put the word firmly in my mouth even when what I'm trying to say doesn't even remotely sound like "koopatzah." Every mud hole we pass en route to any destination is met with the plea for koopatzah. Rolan has promised every Sunday afternoon at the city pool.

I found out what impresses them when we gave them disposable cameras on vacation. They smartly marched over to the over-stuffed fridge, opened the door and took a picture. They thought the California palm trees were funny (my Grandfather from Holland thought they looked like toilet brushes), and as with us all, the vast beauty of the ocean. Sasha had me take a photo of her holding a large wad of seaweed extended at her arms length. There are so many new foods, experiences, undiscovered treasures. It is there through the eyes of a child.

You need a lesson in gratitude? Host an orphan.

Drama at the Christoffersons

2008-07-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

When I said, "I AM THE DRAMA QUEEN!" I was really referring to my ability to intentionally over dramatize otherwise undramatic situations. I didn't mean I wanted drama to happen in my life! I prefer to create it myself, thank you very much.

So the reason why I haven't been keeping you updated, Gentle Readers, is because one of our dear children became sick just less than 24 hours after arriving. We all know and perhaps have first hand experience of having stomach flu after you arrive to a foreign country? Not so pleasant , eh? Okay, say you are a 10 year old girl without prior travel experience and the person who is taking care of you is NOT a medical professional, and they don't speak your language except to say, "Are you hurt?" or "Are you nauseas?" or "Do you have diarrhea?" and you cant keep anything down. There you have it, Gentle Readers. That is Sasha for the first 6 days of American Experience.
I thought I was in hell and I'm positive Sasha thought the same 'cause said she wanted to go home.
We took her to the ER on Sunday morn because she was so badly dehydrated. Yes, they did the IV thing. It hurt the whole 2 hours. We took her home with meds. No improvement. I was so frustrated and helpless. After we got home, I wanted her to see a doc who could check her lab results, but our system is . . . we pre-empt this post to protect the writer from sinning in word.
You get the idea.
A benevolent friend who is a nurse-practitioner returned home from vacation just in time to intercept another visit to the ER. He was able to help us use the $22 a pill meds to Sasha's best advantage and prescribe more to get her happy and well again in less than 48 hours.

Saturday, we were in heaven again. The six of us were camping in the beautiful Colorado mountains.

Now Sasha says she is having "too much fun and never wants to leave." YEAH!
This is what we signed up for! They laugh and giggle and are delighted with the littlest of things. Things we grew bored with long ago. I've never seen children consume so many fresh fruits and vegetables. Our sour cherries don't make it into the house! They wait well and they play well without much supervision. While we have had to do some "time outs" with Nastia, we are so glad she has enough self-esteem to make her wises known.

One bit of advice, I recommend for anyone who is considering hosting or adopting.
GET YOURSELF AN INTERPRETER. Our friend Tanya has been a life-saver! Beg, hire, enslave, but get an interpreter!

Valuable Gems Arrive!

2008-06-20T12:49:00.000-07:00

After it was discovered that the original gems could not be secured, two other valuable (and just as appreciated) gems arrived by international jet under the watchful eye of trained escorts on Thursday. Giggles can be heard once again on Tanglewood Trail.

2008-06-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

2008-06-18T07:12:00.000-07:00

But its a good noise

2008-06-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

How loud can it get?! I live in one of those infernal neighborhoods that is never quiet. That is kind of a good thing because it means people are improving their houses right? Well, I think it is just that when they do have work done on their house, it is SO LOUD, you can hear it up to 1/2 mile away. Therefore, if the conscientious folks in the next neighborhood are re-roofing, which in Colorado happens frequently, well, you get the idea. We have all heard the distant pounding of the roofers, yes? Okay, now add a saws-all to that. A saws-all. It is one of those contraptions that really does what it says. Mostly used in demolition. There is sort of a twisted humor in hearing the house vibrating under the destruction of the saws-all, the pounding of hammers and/or nail-guns at the same time. They build even as they demolish. Do you see, Gentle Readers, how quickly they are finishing the house? The outside will be ready to paint by the weekend! We are the designated painters thereof, however I think we will be busy with girls. Hum? What's that? No, I'm not going to tell you now. I'm going to build suspense.

2008-06-11T08:47:00.000-07:00

I couldn't resist the urge to show you the garden.

Here are the construction photos. The first were done last week. Then up to yesterday.
See my REALLY BIG window?

To quote one of the construction guys, "Yeah, baby!"

Progress!

2008-06-11T07:43:00.000-07:00

Well, the girls were supposed to come yesterday but no visas yet. I'm trying to keep my mind off of it by tidying the house, putting things away and cleaning that which could use some attention (understatement).
Digging out some adoption books that have helpful info on what to expect from kids who have spent time in an orphanage. I've read the books before but since that is not the American Way, I didn't read that part. So far, what I'm noticing is over-structure. For example, the kids don't have the luxury of choosing when to eat but must follow the schedule set by the orphanage. This teaches them to deny their own physical cues. They may sit down to a meal and consume as much as they can as quickly as they can because that is all they are going to get till the next time they sit for a meal (breakfast and dinner). Will watch the girls carefully. Constant hunger is a real concern and to have food so available will be overwhelming to them. Contrary to impulse, what an American parent must do (who has almost unlimited access to stupidly large quantities of chow even in their own humble abodes) is provide the kids with baggies of healthy munchies the kids can carry around with them 24/7.

Also keeping my mind occupied is the resuming of construction! The last couple of weeks the builders have put their bums in high gear and are making up for lost time. I think they are a week ahead of schedule (the new one not the old one, if it were the old one they would be done by now!) Ahem. The new hopeful finish date is July 3.
The lower half of the family room walls, the floor of same room, the frame and floor of the kitchen nook are almost done. Destruction today. Yesterday it was 95*F and today as in the classic Colorado style, it is topping 55*F. On this day, they will be removing the east wall of the upstairs bedrooms and the sliding glass door, allowing even more of said Colorado weather and accompanying fauna in the form of bugs almost free access to our living space. Okay, there will be a sheet of plastic between but you get the idea.

Empty rooms that echo as I climb the stairs (Don McLean)

2008-06-04T17:58:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, I am awake.

I am in my sleeping bag, in my camper. I hear the wind slightly moving the pine branches outside. The people in the campsite next to us are moving around. Mountain jays are screeching. A brook at the edge of the campsite is burbling. Now I hear the slow steady breathing of my wife. And in the bed at the other end of the camper, I hear two girls, also breathing slowly. They are still asleep. They should be. Yesterday, we hiked around a lake. They ran all the time. They looked at everything that moved. They wanted to play in the water, but they don't have swim suits yet, and besides, the water is freezing. They picked up rocks and pine cones and put them in their pockets. The hike took several hours. For dinner we cooked hot dogs over a camp fire. The girls had great fun cooking marshmallows and making s'mores. A rare nighttime thunderstorm woke them up, so they had too little sleep. But now, I can hear them, gently snoring.

After we drive back down the mountains, we take the girls to the zoo. They are amazed at the animals. They run from area to area. They love the baby animal nursery. They look with big eyes at the small animals. We try to talk, broken English, broken Russian, minimal Ukrainian.

That evening, I sit on the couch in front of the TV, one girl on each side. They are already comfortable enough that they lean against me as we watch some cartoons on DVD. The language goes by too fast for them to catch, but they laugh anyway at the slapstick humor.

Then I get to put them to bed. For now, bed is a sleeping bag on the floor of the front room, inside a nylon tent. We speak English slowly, trying to communicate. It's difficult, but facial expressions help a lot. They laugh so easily. After I pray with them and leave, I can hear them whispering to each other. I have no idea what they are saying, but they sound happy.

And then I really do wake up. There are no girls. Not yet. Soon, maybe.

Rolan

Life is a Lesson in Patience

2008-06-02T11:14:00.000-07:00

The good news is work has begun again on our home. More digging with the backhoe. Rain for a day or so that made me wonder if we really were going to have a moat (what sort of fish go well in a Colorado moat?), some concrete poured by some very strong guys with wheelbarrows. Taller forms put up and inspections by two other guys. Temporary loss of phone connection.

The garden is beautiful today. May subject you to a little gardener's brag.

It being springtime and everything so beautiful is getting me through the frustration of the girls not getting their visas yet. That means all 15-17 kids who are hoping to come to America for the summer are having to wait. Trying to keep busy to keep my mind off of it. The best I can do is continue to learn my 100 words in Russian and tend the garden.

You would think that if I had the patience to plant a garden, I would have the patience to wait for two sweet kids to come!

Ukrainian Gems on Loan for the Summer

2008-05-14T17:11:00.000-07:00

I've been sitting at this keyboard for a while, wondering how to write about this wonderful opportunity we have been given for the summer.

There is an orphanage in Ukraine that has been given the privilege of allowing adoptable orphans to come to America and visit whoever will have them. There are no guarantees of adoption. They have to go home at the end of summer. We have known of people who have successfully adopted children they have hosted and people who were given lame excuses by the government and refused to allow the Americans to adopt the kids they have hosted. So what is the advantage for us? Nothing other than allowing two sisters who have no family the opportunity to be loved for ten short weeks. Yes, we will pray like the dickens that the Lord will bless us but if not, that's okay too. The experience will be remembered for the rest of our lives.

Tanya (age 13) and her sister Liza (age 8) will be arriving at DIA on Tuesday, June 10. Time as yet, unknown.
Learning Russian like crazy.
Expect photos of wildly happy people.

Da svidaniya

2008-05-13T08:11:00.000-07:00

A Brief Diversion of Joy

2008-05-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen we interrupt absolutely nothing happening at the house to celebrate the momentous event of JOSH'S GRADUATION! (Cue great crowds cheering)
Our dear young man has freed himself and others from the financial burden of greater education to emerge with A MASTERS OF SECONDARY EDUCATION. That's right, hide your teens, ladies and gentlemen, this twisted product of the Christofferson household will be available to teach science in a high school near you starting this fall. Which high school, we are as yet unsure but hey, a little suspense is what good movies are made of, right?

The Dirt on the Dirt

2008-05-06T08:43:00.000-07:00

So when your house has had the side taken off, and a piece of plastic is all that separates you from the great outdoors, elements, and curious raccoons, the Soil Guy Cometh.
It's a bit like a visit to the doctor. There you sit and wait for the cold probing instruments while you are wearing nothing but a modified sheet.

This fellow doesn't work for the construction company but for the county regulations and zoning or something. He comes and takes a tablespoon of dirt or so and checks it in his laboratory to make sure it isn't ALIVE (bwaa haa haa haa). Well, really what he is checking for is called "expansive soil." Around these here parts, it has been said that massive cracks may appear in parts of your house indiscriminately due to rebellious clods of dirt. So in order to prevent damage from said dirt, they come out and see if that is indeed what you have so that when they pour concrete (which doesn't move very well) they can put in costly "precautions" (don't ask, I don't know). He came Friday but wasn't happy with his fair share. He wanted some more. So he came out yesterday and had the Backhoe Guy dig a 4' deeper hole. It will take him 2 whole days to test so all is at a stand still till tomorrow.
They don't think we have the bad dirt because there would already be bad cracks in the concrete we already have. But it would be too easy just to look at that, wouldn't it?

2008-05-03T05:56:00.000-07:00

Day 4 It snowed and they came and got the cement cut. Very loud but done in 90 min.
They couldn't finish digging because of the wet dirt.

Day 5 Demo Guy's big dump truck full of cement from our house.

Our new moat! I think it's about 4' deep

AND . . . my 7 foot dirt pile! Okay, you were right. It is A LOT OF DIRT! I shall spend the rest of the summer moving it to the far reaches of my meager 1/2 acre. You want some?

2008-05-01T08:44:00.001-07:00

Day 3